Are you doing sociology properly?
One day, at an izakaya, I was having a discussion about sociology with my friend H, who is a researcher. H told me that his basic stance when talking to me is to try to relate any topic to his field of study. As I was put through my paces by H in such situations, I felt that I was beginning to develop, albeit slightly, a sociological perspective.
It was just as we were both exhausted and about to head home. A customer entered the shop. He was a man in his 40s. Just as he looked around the shop from the entrance, our eyes happened to meet. The man seemed to be looking at me but not really seeing me, yet he walked over to our table. This time, the man stared down at me with a look of bewilderment. And his first words were,
Man: "Are you a panda!?"
He blurted it out. I was confused for a moment. But this time, he was clearly looking down at me. I didn't understand the meaning of what he was saying, and unable to grasp the situation, I just couldn't look away from the man. After a short pause,
Me: "Excuse me?"
I gave such a foolish response. Then, without missing a beat, the man said the same thing again.
Man: "Are you a panda!?"
Ah, I realized. He was talking about the bruise on my mouth. I understand now that the sense of discomfort I felt when our eyes met was because he wasn't looking at me, but his consciousness was focused on the bruise. That is what "looking but not seeing" means. After another short pause,
Me: "No, I'm not!"
I replied. It's funny now, like a drill sergeant hazing a recruit. But at the time, I didn't know how to respond, my mind went blank, and I could only give simple answers. And then the man blurted out again.
Man: "Are you a panda!?"
And this time, without a pause,
Me: "No, I'm not!"
I managed to squeeze out the words. I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. I looked at H, who was sitting next to me. He was just quietly drinking his alcohol as if nothing were happening. Realizing there would be no lifeline, I turned my gaze back to the man.
Man: "Are you a panda!?"
Me: "No, I'm not!"
Man: "Are you a panda!?"
Me: "Yes!"
Man: "Are you a panda!?"
Me: "No, I'm not!"
This back-and-forth continued for a while. What on earth was I fighting, and what was I confronting? Whether I answered "yes" or "no," the same question was persistently thrown at me. It made me very sad that I was not being treated as a human being just because I had a bruise. The manager, who had finally noticed the situation, rushed over.
Store Manager: "XX-chan! It's fine! These customers are leaving already."
And so, we left the izakaya. After stepping out, we walked in silence for a while without any particular destination. Finally, H-san opened his mouth.
H-san: "So this is the problem you've been dealing with. I see. I understand a little bit now. That's really tough. You really should be the one to do this (research this). Wow, I see. Oh! I'm heading this way!"
At the T-junction, we parted ways. As he left, he said:
"Make sure you do sociology properly, okay?"