To those who think they have a bad personality: 'Comparison'

You find yourself checking the social media of past friends or ex-partners. Surely, almost everyone has experienced this. And how did you feel afterward?
You probably didn't feel very happy, did you?

Thinking like this, I must have a
bad personality, right...

You may have blamed yourself like this before.
But please, wait a moment. These feelings are actually a natural reaction.

When you realize you are still concerned about someone from your past, or feel left behind seeing others moving forward, it is inevitable that your emotions will be stirred.

This is the psychological trap of 'comparison'.

Humans naturally tend to compare themselves with others.
Especially on social media, where everyone often shows only the 'happy' parts of their lives, it is easy for that comparison to become a source of suffering.

'Comparison' is a word we use often in daily life!

People often unconsciously compare what they have, what they have achieved, their appearance, or their lifestyle with others.

Especially when looking at social media, you often only see the 'good parts' of others. That is why you might find yourself thinking, 'I want to be like that too' or 'I am still not enough'.

This is an example of how 'comparison' leads to underestimating yourself.

In other words, because this is a human psychological trait, such actions and feelings
cannot simply be called having a bad personality.

And this 'comparison' can trigger aggressive emotions or feelings of unease.

You don't want to see others' happiness, and
what's more, you might even want them to be unhappy.

That feeling is something everyone has probably felt at least once.

While you might think, 'I want to be like that too' when seeing others' happiness, jealousy and frustration can also well up, making you feel, 'Why not me?'

And the more the 'object of comparison' is someone like a rival, someone you dislike, or someone you like, the easier it is for these emotions to arise.

This is because these relationships have a significant impact on your self-evaluation and emotions.

Ultimately, while emotions toward these people tend to be particularly strong, feelings caused by comparison can occur toward anyone in general human relationships.
It is just that emotions toward rivals, people you dislike, or people you like tend to appear more strongly.

Because it is an emotion anyone can feel, there is no need to blame yourself or deny your character.
Having your feelings stirred by seeing others' happiness is a very natural human reaction.

So, does that mean it's okay to enjoy others' misfortune from now on?

Taking pleasure in others' misfortune is a somewhat complex emotion. Of course, I can understand the feelings of jealousy and anxiety, but if taking pleasure in others' misfortune becomes a habit, it may have a negative impact on yourself as well.

If the feeling of relief from seeing others' misfortune continues, that emotion will gradually stop satisfying you. Because you cannot feel satisfied, you may end up hurting others or taking negative actions.

You may find yourself feeling more lonely or experiencing more guilt. In the end, hurting others can become the very thing that causes you suffering.

Having bad feelings is not inherently wrong, but I do not recommend using those emotions to hurt others.

The reason you think you are bad is because you 'compare' yourself to others.

In this article, I have delved into the phenomenon of feeling 'I am bad' that arises from that 'comparison'.

By 'comparing' general theories with your own emotions,
I hope you can understand that the phenomenon of feeling 'I am bad' is something many people experience.
In short, this emotion is something many people harbor, and it is not something special. You do not need to suffer alone.

And what is important is not to use those emotions to hurt others.
Because that is what ends up hurting you.

It is important that you do not get hurt. There is no need to force yourself to think about happy things or try to be positive right now.

Accept the emotions within your heart and cherish yourself just as you are.