Before I knew it, my child had grown into someone who can say "thank you" | Essay

Hello, this is Ken.

I realized I haven't written much about my son on note lately,
so today I'm going to write about my second-grade son.

A child who can say "thank you"

That's what he is.

I don't intend for this to be a parent bragging about their child,
so please bear with me for a moment🙏

It's a "thank you" that comes out naturally
in our daily life.

For example,

when I hand him water,
or when I do a favor for him,
he says, "Thanks!!"

Conversely,

when he receives a snack
from a friend's mother,

or gets pocket money
from his grandparents,

shyness takes over,
and "thank you" doesn't come out naturally.

As a parent,
I want him to say it in those situations too,

but I'm not confident that I could say it
when I was in second grade,
so I think it's a bit much to demand it.

Though I do say, "What do you say?" just in case.

But I feel that the "thank you" he can say normally
is actually quite impressive,

and I don't think I could say it
when I was a child.

I remember even feeling too embarrassed
to say "good morning."

Surely,
my wife and I must be saying "thank you"
in our daily lives.

I'm not conscious of it at all,
so it doesn't really click for me...

Is "What do you say again!?" counterproductive?

And I think if I were to force this "thank you,"
he wouldn't be able to say it naturally, would he?
For example,

he asks for water, and I give it to him.

Suppose he takes it without saying anything

and starts drinking the water.
If I immediately jump in and say,

"What do you say in times like this?"

If I were to say that every single time,
wouldn't it be annoying?

My son might honestly think,
"Oh, right," and say "thank you,"
but I wonder if his heart is really in it?

Teaching manners is important.

However,
I think the attitude of stubbornly trying to drill it in
is actually counterproductive.

Because basically,
children don't want to listen to what their parents say,
do they?

When they are pointed out for something they were about to do,
"I was just about to do that!!"
is a common response.

I was told this a lot when I was a child,
and I hated it,
so I try to be careful about it lol

"How many times do I have to tell you!?"
is also a phrase parents often use,

but "I don't get it no matter how many times you tell me"
is the child's true feeling.
There's no malice in that.

Parenting without expectations

I think parents have various wishes,

like wanting their child to grow up kind,
wanting them to be able to offer thanks and greetings properly,

or wanting them to develop the strength to finish things without giving up.

But those are

the parent's selfish wishes,
and I think having too many expectations
is not good either.

In the end, children grow up watching their parents.

Correcting one's own behavior
might be the shortest path.
It's a hard truth to swallow, though.

That's right,

my father told me,
"I'll buy you as many books as you want."
"You should read books."
I grew up being told that, but

I never once saw my father reading a book, haha.
He only read camping and car magazines.

So,

I didn't read books.
Just manga.
I didn't really know

what kind of books I should read, and

I think my father didn't know
what he should recommend either.

So,
wishes that aren't backed by one's own actions
might not come true.

But, after becoming an adult,
I've come to enjoy reading.

You could say it took a long time,
but it came true.

I think placing expectations on someone
is a burden.

I think it puts a strain on both sides.

So,
I try not to have expectations for my son.

That doesn't mean I've given up;
it's more of a feeling of trusting and waiting,
because he should be wonderful to begin with.

Children
grow up at the necessary time, and

as parents, we have no choice but to show them by our own example.

Every time I hear my son say "thank you,"
a feeling of happiness and
a desire to discipline myself sprout within me.

Ken

Thank you for reading until the end🎈

This article is
from the magazine "It's Okay to Sway,"
which keeps the emotions of the day just as they are📚

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