Feelings to cherish when you worry about 'what others think'

Hello, this is Maru.

Through my experience of changing from being super negative, I share secrets to living comfortably and ways to embrace your true self.

I thought I didn't care about what others thought of me, but
the other day, when I deleted an article I had posted, I suddenly thought to myself.

'Wait, was I thinking about what people would think of me...?'

The main reason I deleted it was
because I wasn't satisfied with it myself.

But somewhere in my heart,
there was a part of me that thought, 'Maybe people will be disappointed by this...'

I always tell myself, 'If you're going to compare, compare yourself to who you were yesterday,' and
I've tried to live by that as much as possible.

However, I still get overwhelmed by someone else's amazing writing, or
I find myself worrying about the number of 'likes'.

Before I know it, I'm comparing myself to others and feeling down...

That happens, doesn't it?

For someone like me who has lived with 'the version of myself that compares and feels down' for a long time,
it's a common occurrence.

But what I think has changed recently is
that I've stopped blaming myself for worrying.

Before, I would have thought, 'This is no good,' but
now, I've become able to accept the feelings within me, thinking, 'You just really want to get your message across, don't you?'

Even while feeling lost, I write because I want to convey something.

If that's the case, then this must be—growing pains.
(...Let's just go with that.)

I'm sure you also have
'feelings you want to convey'.

If those feelings are at the root of why you compare yourself to others, worry, or feel lost, then let's cherish that part first.

Instead of blaming yourself for worrying,

'How can I make this convey my message better?'
'What can I do right now?'

When you ask yourself questions like that,
I feel like you'll start to see a way out, little by little.

Beyond that,
I believe there is a moment waiting for you
where you can truly think, 'This is who I am.'

I, too, write, stumble,
write again, stumble again...

That is how, little by little,
I began to see myself.

So, I am currently in the middle of shedding my skin, but
I hope that later on, I will be able to think that this change was 'for the best'.

I intend to keep writing, even if it's just a little at a time.

And thank you for sharing your precious time with me today.
It truly makes me happy to know that you read this.

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for reading until the end.

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