[The Reality of Stuttering Vol. 2] 'You're speaking too slowly,' I was told repeatedly: High school senior interview practice —Job Hunting Edition—

When job hunting begins, most people focus primarily on practicing their self-promotion and reasons for applying.

However, those with a stutter are fighting an extra battle.

It is the battle of, 'Will I be able to say my name today without getting stuck?'

From the moment you sit in the chair at an interview, half of your mind is thinking about your reasons for applying, while the other half is dominated by the anxiety of, 'Will the first syllable come out?'

Even though this is a situation where you would normally want to approach it with 100% concentration, your brain is constantly thinking only about 'stuttering'.

And then, the moment you actually get stuck.

The interviewer's expression changes.
The hand holding the pen stops for a second.
Even if they don't say 'Hmm?' out loud, we sense it somehow.

In this second volume, we will cover job hunting and interviews, which are the most high-pressure situations for people with a stutter.

▪️The day I almost hyperventilated during high school senior interview practice

From here on, this is my own personal experience.

When I was a high school senior, we had interview practice for our future career paths. It was that uniquely tense time where you speak about your reasons for applying and your self-promotion in front of a teacher.

When I started speaking, my stuttering symptoms appeared, of course.
Between words, there were repetitions of the first syllable, blocks, and prolongations.

But to the teacher, it didn't come across as a 'stutter'.

'You're speaking too slowly.'
'Be more rhythmic,' I was told again and again.

It felt like symptoms I couldn't stop myself were being pointed out as problems with my speaking habits or attitude.

The more I tried to fix it, the more I got stuck on my words.
The more anxious I became, the stronger the symptoms grew.

In that vicious cycle, before I knew it, my breathing became shallow and rapid, and I was pushed to the point of almost hyperventilating.

Even though I knew there was no malice behind the teachers' words, I hated them, thinking, 'You don't understand anything.'

I think it was just that the symptom of stuttering itself wasn't well-known, so it was dismissed as a 'problem with attitude'.

That was far more painful than the symptoms themselves.

――I still remember this experience vividly.
Isn't the most painful part of stuttering in job hunting not the fact that 'words don't come out,' but that 'the true nature of the symptom isn't understood, and it's judged as a problem with attitude or personality'?

▪️Why do interviews have the 'worst conditions' for a stutter?

The interview setting coincidentally has all the conditions that make stuttering likely to worsen.

Pressure of meeting someone for the first time
Tension tends to be higher with someone you haven't built a relationship with

The atmosphere of a one-shot deal where you cannot redo it
You can't think, 'I'll just say it again,' so you tense up even more

The awareness of being evaluated
You feel that your way of speaking itself is being graded

The pressure of having to say specific words
You are more likely to get stuck in situations where you are required to say the 'correct words,' such as self-introductions or reasons for applying


This is not a matter of willpower or how much you practice.

Just knowing this fact can help you let go of some of the self-denial of thinking, 'I'm the only one who can't do this.'

▪️Summary

For people with a stutter, the job hunting and interview process carries a unique weight, where everything you have prepared might be judged in a few dozen seconds of interaction.

However, even if you cannot change your 'way of speaking' itself, there are parts of your 'way of preparing' that you can definitely change through practice and design.

In future articles, I will cover how to deal with stuttering in the 'workplace'—an environment you will be with for the long term—after you have overcome the job hunt.
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