Mom, sometimes, tears.

Once a year
Once every few years
A few times a year?

I sometimes disappear

It's not that I had an argument with someone here right now
It's not that I've become sick of everything either

And yet
Sometimes
I get the urge to run away, and I leave the house
It's my little few-minute runaway.

Even calling it running away, I just go to the neighborhood convenience store to buy alcohol and snacks
Wander around aimlessly
And just go home when I'm satisfied

So
To my family other than me
It's just a matter of "Did Mom go somewhere?"

No one notices
No one realizes
A tiny runaway

Usually at times like that
I sob.
These are tears from remembering feelings I couldn't resolve or thinking back to those days
They are not tears because the present is painful.

I just simply want to cry.

Even I
Even a mom

Sometimes has moments where she just can't help but want to cry

There are times when I want to cry for no reason at all.

Since these kinds of tears are incomprehensible to children
I definitely don't want to show them
I won't show them
I can't explain them, after all.

Though I felt hesitant to write about it on note

This is also me

So

I tried writing like this once in a while.

I felt refreshed after crying
(What kind of report is this? lol)

I thought, moms are so strong