My Perspective on My Children's Gaming Habits

Games as a tool for socialization

There was certainly a period when both of them did nothing but play games.
I wasn't particularly sensitive about gaming, so it didn't feel like they were obsessed.

I am not advocating for gaming.
This is strictly the case for my own children.

Even so, I remember a time when the music from the games would get stuck in my head, leaving me feeling restless.

But I think that for my children, the conversations during games were enjoyable in many ways.

My intense eldest son hates to lose, so he doesn't want to lose to his friends. Perhaps it is a tool for him to see where he stands right now.

My calm second son is less about competition and more about enjoying character-based games or just fun games in general.

Since my eldest son is my first child, everything is always a first-time experience for me as a parent.

Despite that, he is full of curiosity and seems to want to try even the things I tell him not to, at least once.

My second son follows along and navigates things safely, so he doesn't do the kinds of things that would make me get angry and scold him.

I have these two incredibly contrasting individuals at home at the same time.

Heading to the outside world through online games

When they were not attending school, online games were just becoming popular, and you could play endlessly even without physical software.

Around this time, if anything, I did not show a negative attitude toward gaming.

They would happily tell me about the people they met online, so it seemed like they were enjoying interacting with others.

It felt like they were participating in an arcade on the internet.

They tell me things I don't know.
It might be the parents who are failing to keep up with the times.

I actually learned about things like impersonation from my child.
If I say something is dangerous, I believe I must be able to explain exactly why it is dangerous.

If I just blindly forbid things, I might be causing them to
miss out on opportunities to learn what they need to know.

Since they don't talk much with friends, I realized that gathering information is essential for their future life.

My eldest son values "his own life."
He is also the type who cannot leave his curiosity unaddressed. Therefore, the ability to judge between good and evil is a skill he absolutely must possess.

I thought it would be better to be open about it rather than imposing restrictions and having him play games in secret all night.

That is why I tried not to deny it and, for the time being, tried to show interest.

I was more worried about in-game purchases than game addiction.
He didn't have a credit card, nor did he know the card numbers, so I was just making sure I wouldn't be inconvenienced... but I was still super worried.

In an era where the internet society is developing rapidly, children absorb things very quickly.
I was the one asking questions because I wanted to know more.

Rather than game addiction,
it's an escape from painful feelings—
I thought it might actually be that.

Am I neglecting him?
That might be true.
Am I spoiling him?

The pale, devastated look on his face when he couldn't go to school—
from that point on, I just couldn't bring myself to say,
"Stop it now."

He is in his second year of junior high and is over 170 cm tall.
For anyone to see, telling him "stop it" or "only until this time"
is already strange.

For my strong-willed eldest son, he is already in
"I won't listen to what people say" mode.

Online games didn't exist when my child was in elementary school.
Things that didn't exist when he was at an age to listen to me are here now.
I have no choice but to watch over him with a stance of trust, neither affirming nor denying.

My second son is the meticulous type,
and he learns things like Mahjong by writing down the 'yaku' (winning hands) in a notebook.

I hoped he would take an interest in various things and head in a good direction...
Perhaps I was just clinging to that hope.

Don't focus too much on the games

In my children's case, it seemed that games were more like a way to 'kill time'.

It wasn't that they couldn't stop
they were just doing it because they had nothing else to do

After a certain period, rather than games with music, they moved on to playing Othello or Mahjong, and they would even tell me about people in the world who were strong at these games.

My eldest son's interests extended beyond games to computers and mobile phones as tools,
and he became someone knowledgeable about machines as an adult, which he now puts to use in his work.

I felt that for my second son, it helped him find his own strengths.
By the time he was in high school and college, he was encouraging junior high students who were struggling with the same issues he had faced... and my eldest son told me about that, too.

Games = Bad, neglect of studies
That might not be wrong.

But the problem is whether or not they can exercise self-control.

If you interfere too much, self-control doesn't develop.
It is important for them to be able to decide for themselves and follow through on their own.

Choosing whether or not to go to school,
and thinking about what you want to do and how you can manage to go—isn't that the same kind of thing?

Now that he is in junior high school, instead of just saying "yes" to everything I say without thinking, he is testing why something is not allowed.

Once he reaches the point where he doesn't understand anything, the only way left is to have him cultivate his own way of thinking that he will adopt.

Thanks to my eldest son, I feel I have been spared from having to say unnecessary things about games.

This is a case of all's well that ends well.

Summary of online games

・Even while at home, he is connected to the outside world and encountering various things.

・Even if the entry point is a game, once inside, he connects with anyone and enters worlds he is interested in from there.

・I want him to learn a sense of right and wrong while I am still able to help him.

〈Benefits of gaming〉

〈Dangers of gaming〉

If you make them perceive games as something bad or scary, there is a possibility that they will start doing it in secret.

For small children, I thought it might be good to get involved with them, such as by managing their time or choosing educational ones like puzzle games, so that they can understand and use them correctly.

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