I was looking for a town to live in, but only towns I didn't want to live in kept increasing

I was looking broadly, but nothing was decided

When we started looking for a home, we were looking at a fairly wide area. Kanagawa, Saitama, Chiba, Tokyo. We were looking at the so-called one metropolis and three prefectures quite randomly, relying only on search form criteria like distance from the station and the size of the living room.

I thought that a used condominium was the most realistic option. After consulting with a financial planner, I had a vague idea of a reasonable budget. So, I thought all I had to do was find a property that met the criteria.

However, as I looked at various properties on search sites, a sense of discomfort gradually emerged. There were properties that seemed okay. The price, size, and distance from the station were not bad if you only looked at the conditions. But I couldn't help but wonder if I could really live there.

Even though the options were increasing on the map, the image of living there didn't become vivid at all. I looked at Kanagawa. I looked at Saitama. I looked at Chiba. I looked at Tokyo. It felt like I was looking broadly, but in reality, I had no footing anywhere.

The day we went to play at Setagaya Park

That feeling changed a little on the day we went to play at Setagaya Park. That day, we didn't go to look at the town for the sake of house hunting. We just went to play as usual.

We played in the park and walked toward Shimouma to have lunch. At that time, my heart felt excited for some reason. The roads were wide, and it felt good to walk. There were stylish cafes, too. But it wasn't just stylish; there was also a real atmosphere of daily life.

"This area is nice, isn't it!"

My spouse and I talked about that. A picture of life, like what it would be like to live here, came to mind on its own.

In our house hunting until then, we had started from the conditions. But when we walked through Shimouma, we felt like "we might want to live here" before considering the conditions, and we were both filled with a sense of excitement. We should find a house here!

After getting excited, I felt depressed

However, what happened after that was not good.

"This place is great!" "I want to live here!" We got quite excited, and in that flow, we looked at property information. Then, reality came back all at once. It was incredibly expensive. It was not a price we could casually consider. (To add a note, my spouse and I are from the countryside, and at that time, we had almost no sense of the market price for each area.)

The picture of life that had been floating in my mind until just a moment ago drifted away the instant I saw the property price. The depression was as great as the excitement had been.

The town I wanted to live in was just incredibly expensive.

I realized that obvious fact quite strongly at that time. If I had just been looking for properties that met the criteria on search sites, I don't think my feelings would have been moved this much. But because I actually walked there and thought it was nice, I felt depressed by the unattainability.

However, that day became a turning point, and my perspective on house hunting changed a little. Maybe it's no good just looking at properties. Maybe it's better to first look for a town where we feel we "want to live." I started to think that way.

Since then, I have walked through various towns

From there, I started walking through various towns on my days off. I tried going by train, going around the area I could reach by bicycle, and walking while stopping by parks with my children. It was more of a town tour than a property viewing.

I walk in front of the station. I go to the park. I walk through residential areas. I think about what it would be like to walk these streets every day. What would it be like to live here with a child? What kind of mood would I be in when coming home at night? I started thinking about these things while walking through the towns, rather than focusing on the properties themselves.

To be honest, it was quite a tedious process. And it wasn't as fun as I had expected. Even after visiting, nothing clicked. It wasn't a bad town. People live there. Life goes on. In terms of price, it might be realistic. But something just felt off.

The area in front of the station is a bit too desolate. I don't think my mood would lift on the way home. The proximity to the water is scary when I think about children playing. The overall atmosphere of the town doesn't quite fit. Each of these things isn't enough to write down on a checklist. But when you walk around, you just get a sense of it.

“Something about this feels wrong.”
“I don't think this is the place.”

Conversations like that just kept increasing.

“Something feels off” kept increasing

At first, that was quite frustrating. I was spending my days off, but nothing was being decided. No property was decided. No area was decided. Only the feeling that “this isn't it” kept increasing.

People around us seemed to be making decisions much more smoothly. This area is good. This property is good. The budget is about this much. Let's decide then. It seemed like they were proceeding in order like that. But at least for us, that wasn't the case.

We looked too broadly and got lost, couldn't afford the towns we thought were good, and when we walked through realistic towns, our hearts didn't move. And then we went back to the search sites. It was a cycle of that.

However, looking back now, I don't think that time was completely wasted. We thought we were looking for a town we wanted to live in. But in reality, I think we were picking up the conditions for towns we didn't want to live in, one by one.

I don't want the area in front of the station to be too desolate. I don't want to be in a place where walking down the street makes me feel depressed. I feel uneasy about places that are too close to the water. Even if it's convenient, it's hard if I can't imagine living there. Those kinds of feelings don't appear on search sites. They aren't listed in property descriptions either. But if you're going to live there every day, they were probably very important things.

It was a detour, but it wasn't a waste

Another big thing was that those feelings of “something feels wrong” were gradually being shared between my spouse and me.

At first, we weren't able to put into words what each of us valued. I was concerned about asset value and ease of resale. My wife was looking at whether we could truly see ourselves living there. But as we walked through the towns together, we gradually understood.

Oh, this kind of station front isn't right. I like this kind of street. This kind of atmosphere lifts my spirits. I'm not good with this kind of place, though I can't explain why.

Looking at the town as a couple before looking at the property. That might have been a necessary time, even if it looked like a detour.

Of course, at the time, I couldn't think of it so positively. At the time, I just thought I couldn't find a town I wanted to live in. I couldn't afford the towns that got me excited. On the other hand, even when I walked through towns with realistic prices, my heart wouldn't move. I could proceed with logic. But my feelings wouldn't follow.

I thought house hunting was the task of finding an ideal property. But in reality, it was also the task of learning what we felt uncomfortable with, what kind of towns we could walk through comfortably, and what kind of places we couldn't imagine our daily lives in.

I couldn't easily find a town I wanted to live in. But at least the outline of the towns I didn't want to live in became clearer little by little.

That is too modest to call an achievement, but thinking about it later, it might have been an important foundation for house hunting.