Children Who Are Scolded Too Much Grow Up to Lie

Hello. This is Bongun.

I have heard that "children who are scolded too much grow up to lie." Is this true?

Young children are still in the process of growing, so they sometimes lack "attention" and "concentration."

They may not fully understand something after being warned about a mistake only once or twice. As a result, they repeat the same mistake.

However, what happens if a parent who demands perfection intimidates the child with a loud voice each time, or tries to teach them through physical discipline? Gradually, the child seems to internalize the psychology that "something painful will happen to me if I fail" rather than the content of the warning itself. As a result, the child begins to hide failures from their parents and learns to tell "lies."

Children who are scolded repeatedly will reflexively continue to tell "lies" out of fear of being scolded again, even when their parents tell them, "I won't get angry, so please tell me the truth."

It is a vicious cycle.

When warning or educating a child about a failure, parents and those around them need to stay close to the child and find ways to make things easier to understand.

・Do not say too much at once
・Communicate in short words
・Communicate using both words and paper

And above all, if they manage to do what you asked, first, specifically acknowledge that and praise them. Also, even if they do fail, if they tell you the truth, praise them for that.

If you do this, the child's feelings will become more positive, and it is said that their failures will gradually decrease.

The same can be said in the workplace.

Generally, "lies" told by adults are more complex and troublesome than those told by children.

Are there people like this in your workplace, too?

People who, when they think they might get scolded, preemptively tell a lie to avoid it, or people who are good at telling lies on the spot when their failures are pointed out.

There are even people who proudly declare this to be "the way of the world."

However, either way, it is no different from continuing to fake one's own feelings, and one will never gain a sense of satisfaction.

It only strengthens negative thinking, and the fear of being scolded becomes even stronger.

It is said that those who make "lying" a habit become afraid of failure and can only take passive actions. In many cases, they become irresponsible adults who do nothing more than what they are told.

What is the cause?

In psychology, it is explained that the cause of all worries is a "lack of self-confidence."

This is because if you have self-confidence, you will not lie, and even if you are scolded, you will not be more upset than necessary and can act honestly according to your feelings.

For those who have a habit of lying, please encourage them to face their own lack of self-confidence.

A happy life does not await those who have a habit of "lying" because they think they will be scolded, whether at work or in their private lives.

What do you all think?