The Mind That Measures the “Self”—Why Does “Pride” Feel Like It Is Always There?

Compared to the past, how much of our lives do we spend “comparing ourselves to others” each day? If we open social media, the lives of people of different ages and nationalities flow by without pause. In a world where efforts and backgrounds are cut away and only results are lined up, what is our mind learning?

In Buddhism, comparing and measuring oneself against others is called “pride” (mana). Pride is not merely arrogance; it is said to be linked to ignorance (moha) and to erode our very capacity for reason and learning. It is by no means a good thing.

🙂‍↕️ I am not in a position to speak for Buddhism. What I write here is merely an attempt to deepen my own understanding, and it includes subjective views. Please understand this.

“Pride” is not just self-esteem or arrogance

The feeling that “I exist” arises as long as we are alive and as long as our perception continues. However, that may simply be the feeling of the act of perception itself—seeing, hearing, and thinking.
As long as a life is established as an “individual,” this sensation is unavoidable, and in itself, it is neither good nor evil.
However, the moment we assign value to this “individual self”—that is, the “ego”—the trouble known as “pride” arises.

In our daily lives, almost unconsciously, we measure our position while keeping an eye on three directions: “people who are superior,” “people who are equal,” and “people who are inferior.”
In Buddhism, this mind of comparison is classified into three types: pride (superiority), equality pride, and inferiority pride, but in reality, even within each type of pride, more detailed comparisons are being made.

① When comparing yourself to someone superior—three types of measurement occur: “I am superior to the superior person,” “I am equal to the superior person,” and “I am inferior to the superior person.”

② Similarly, when comparing yourself to an “equal person”—there are three: “I am superior to the equal person,” “I am equal to the equal person,” and “I am inferior to the equal person.”

③ Furthermore, when comparing yourself to an “inferior person”—you also establish comparisons: “I am superior to the inferior person,” “I am equal to the inferior person,” and “I am inferior to the inferior person.”

There are nine types of “pride” in total when counted this way, but they all share one thing: the act of “measuring oneself” itself.
The problem is not whether it is positive or negative, but that we place ourselves within the framework of comparison.

“Pride” is quiet, but it strengthens ignorance

Looking at it this way, one might doubt whether “pride” is truly something bad. After all, pride does not generate anger or hatred like “aversion” (dosa), nor does it trigger greed like “craving” (lobha). In fact, it even looks quiet and rational.
However, in reality, this “pride” is a very troublesome character. This is because it quietly, yet surely, strengthens ignorance, which is the source of all evil.

“Pride” does not make you angry, but it cultivates a mind that is easily angered

When we get angry because our pride is hurt, we often conclude that “pride created the anger and hatred.”
But in reality, pride does not directly trigger anger or hatred. Pride is merely performing valuation and positioning based on the “illusion” of “me.”

What directly triggers anger and hatred is the working of the mind called “ignorance,” which prevents us from seeing things correctly.
And ignorance is the foundation not only for anger but also for many of the sufferings that occur in social life, such as friction in human relationships, misunderstandings, and self-denial.
It is none other than “pride” that is quietly, yet surely, strengthening that ignorance.

The defilement that is harder to notice than anger—the quiet work of pride

From here on, it might get a bit complicated and make you sleepy. Even so, I think it is a perspective that we absolutely cannot avoid if we want to see the world created by our own minds correctly.

“Pride,” while appearing to be linked to anger, actually arises together with the mind of “craving.”
Because we have an intense attachment to the ego, at the root of pride, there is an attachment to “me”—the desire to “cherish me,” “establish me,” and “give value to me.” This is precisely the work of “craving.”

While the mind of anger has the nature of destroying, rejecting, and excluding,
the mind of craving has the nature of holding on, protecting, and preserving.

Pride is not as flashy as anger. It looks quiet, rational, and calm. However, its substance is a state where the craving not to let go of “me” is working quietly, yet constantly.

Pride should originally be a quiet mental activity that occurs intermittently, so why do we feel like it is “always there”?
Theoretically, it is considered that in the mind, “craving” is more frequent, and “pride” does not always arise. Even so, it feels like pride is always with us.

It is said that we humans are essentially social beings.
I believe the reason pride feels like it is constantly by our side is that in a competitive society, the flow of desire → comparison → pride has become automated in our daily lives.

Ignorance (the illusion of self), desire (the preservation of self), and pride (assigning value or status).
These three cannot be considered separately.
The more pride operates, the stronger ignorance becomes;
pride is born from ignorance, and
the pride that is born further fattens ignorance. A clear circular structure can be seen there.

This is not a one-way cause-and-effect, but a mutually reinforcing relationship.

Ignorance creates the illusion that 'the self exists,' desire takes on the role of protecting that self and not wanting to let it go, and pride attempts to give that self value and position it.
And as the conviction that 'I am indeed a solid existence' accumulates, ignorance is further strengthened.

So, why is pride able to strengthen ignorance?

Because every time pride operates,
'I am an existence that can be measured,'
'I have a degree of value,'
'I am the subject of comparison,'
—these premises of the self are never once doubted.

On the contrary, the feeling that 'it is natural that I exist' and 'it is correct to evaluate that self' accumulates as experience.

This is the learning of ignorance.

Anger and crude desires are painful, destructive, and prone to causing regret, so it can be said that the motivation to let them go is relatively easy to generate.
However, pride is quiet, rational, and feels like one is maintaining oneself.
Therefore, it may be difficult to realize that this is a 'defilement'.
As a result, ignorance and pride become a relationship that nourishes each other.

Ugh, I'm getting sleepy (lol).
But I'll do my best.
To be continued.