Super Attraction: Blooming Charm: Opening and Relaxing (Reflections on Junko-sensei's Course)

A few days have passed, but this is the continuation of the course reflections I posted last time.

Last time, as the first step to blooming charm, we dissolved assumptions, feelings of guilt, and so on.
And in the second session, the theme was "opening and relaxing," which is essential for exerting charm and liberating femininity.

By the way, you can find my reflections from last time here.

What does it mean to open and relax?

In the next step of the "Super Attraction" that Junko-san is advocating in this course, it is considered important to open up and get closer.
The foundation of communication is "opening up and getting closer," but when you can't do this, it seems you are in a state of being bound by judgments and beliefs (shoulds and musts).

I understand this judgment as thinking rather than feeling, a state where you are rigid with your thoughts.
For example, I feel the following is a fairly common occurrence, and I think it's a case of judging.

It's a situation where it seems unlikely that things would get so complicated if you just honestly conveyed your feelings.
Therefore, it seems that using thoughts to "persuade" someone is counterproductive in situations outside of business.
I have also often been lectured with "broad generalizations" (e.g., "Everyone else does it, so it's strange," "It's strange from a common-sense perspective"), but well, I couldn't listen to it honestly, and I felt a lot of resistance (laughs).

So, what can I do?
It seems that this judgment is a mechanism where the ego (a story born from fear and anxiety) is created from past painful experiences.
To dissolve this "ego," "acknowledgment" and "empathy" are the keys.
I thought this was truly about acceptance, about opening up one's femininity.
There is no good or bad in emotions, so just accept them by saying, "So that's how I'm feeling."
Even if you feel that you are no good, accept the part of you that thinks so.
It seems that by accumulating these moments, you can dissolve the ego that covers your inherent charm.

Open your heart and let it all out

During the course, there was an exercise called "giving feedback without grounds."
The content was for everyone to organize their own perceived shortcomings and then give feedback on them without thinking, just by feeling; it's training to open your heart and let it all out.
By the way, since this feedback is acknowledgment, it is positive feedback.

As was explained in the course, feedback without grounds somehow enters the heart naturally, doesn't it?
I think words spoken while thinking, "Is it rude to say this?" or "Will they think I'm just flattering them?" often fail to reach the other person as expected.
Based on my own experience, I feel that it's more pleasant to convey what I feel straight, and the other person seems to accept it relatively well, saying, "Oh, really?"
This is apparently because femininity is open, allowing emotions to be expressed directly.

And while listening to the feedback without grounds during the exercise, everyone was saying such loving words!
I felt a sense of warmth, happiness, and shyness, and I realized that's why "opening up and getting closer" is an important step.

A learning environment where safety and security are ensured

Up until now, I have been writing about what I learned in the course as a memo, but from here on, I will write about what I felt in this session.

I have taken Junko-san's course several times, and it's something I always feel: because Junko-san provides "total acceptance," I feel I can participate with peace of mind.
Also, as she herself says in the course, she is a very "bright" person, so the atmosphere of the course proceeds in a bright way.
Of course, there are moments where tears are shed, but I feel that I can take it in a relaxed manner without becoming too serious.
From my perspective, having taken company training and various other courses, there is no one better than Junko-san when it comes to the sense of creating this kind of space.
I also have opportunities to be a facilitator at work (though it's within the company), and creating an atmosphere is very difficult.
Not being able to say what you want to say, having a stiff expression... it's not easy to create an atmosphere where everyone participates comfortably.
I am not a lecturer, so it's natural that I find it difficult, but I think Junko-san is simply amazing for being able to bring together the consciousness of the whole group and create an atmosphere where participants can speak their true feelings.

Also, as I wrote earlier about an atmosphere where you can speak your true feelings, it is also impressive that the participants are taking the course quite naturally. (This is just what I feel.)
There are many people who honestly put into words things that I wouldn't be able to say easily, and there are many moments where I feel a huge sense of empathy, thinking, "Ah! I get it! Exactly!"
It's partly because Junko-san asks, "Is everyone okay? Are you keeping up?" each time, but there are also students who comment, "I don't understand" or "I'm confused."
In company training, you would never see such comments, and even in courses I've taken privately, I feel there are few people who make such statements.
Being able to make honest statements like this is, for me, one of the charms of Junko-san's course.

And because there are many questions, I feel that another feature is that there is a lot of learning.
During the Q&A session, I imagine about three people raise their hands almost every time.
And that's not individually, but in the whole group setting.
I'm the type who can't easily ask questions in a group setting and asks individually after the lecture, but in Junko-san's course, I can raise my hand again and again (laughs).
I think it's because safety and security are ensured.
And since everyone is taking the course seriously, I think there are many questions, but I feel that by being lifted up by the consciousness of such students, my own learning is also deepened.

Next time, I will post my reflections on the final session of Super Attraction.