Night Shifts as a New Nurse | The Story of Being Too Scared to Press the Call Button for the Doctor

Introduction

The nurse station during a night shift has a different kind of silence than during the day.
A space where only the sound of monitor alarms echoes.

With the pager in my hand.
The moment I thought, "I have to call the doctor,"

my heart was pounding.

Unable to press the call button

Before making a call,
I was always desperately writing notes.

・Vital signs
・Blood data
・Previous orders

Lining up everything I could think of,
I would take a deep breath.

But,

"Is it okay to call now?"
"They're probably sleeping, will they get mad at me?"

When I thought that, I couldn't press the call button.

When I was a rookie,
I spent many nights like that.

"So, what do you want me to do?"

I finally gathered the courage to make the call.

But,

the moment it connected,
my mind went blank.

The notes I had been looking at just a moment ago flew out of my head,
and I didn't know where to start.

A single phrase a doctor said to me when I was like that.

"So, what do you want me to do?"

I was stumped by those words.

"Isn't it the doctor's job to give orders?"
"I'm calling because I want to know that."

Even though those words came to mind,
I couldn't say anything.

I just,

"I'm sorry..."

That was all I could say,
the feeling from back then.

I thought that 'not being able to speak well' meant I was a failure

Back then, I thought,

'I have to communicate this properly,'
'I can't make any mistakes.'

That is what I believed.

So, I constantly blamed myself for not being able to speak well.

What I realized after working for 14 years

But now I understand.

👉 Reports don't have to be perfect

What's important is sharing those feelings of,
'Something feels off,'
'I'm a little concerned.'

Sharing that sense of unease with the team
was what mattered.

To you, who are struggling with the same thing right now

If you are currently feeling,

・Scared of making calls
・Your mind goes blank
・You don't know what to say

If you feel that way,

that is,
👉 proof that you are trying to think things throughitself.

People who aren't thinking about it wouldn't be worried in the first place.

In closing

Back then, I was in a state where,

・I didn't know what or how to communicate
・My mind would go blank
・In the end, I couldn't say anything at all

That was my situation.

But, once I learned the 'order of speaking,'

things started to change little by little.

In the next article, I have summarized 'a starting point for when you don't know where to begin thinking.'

When I was a new nurse, my hand would always tremble while holding the pager during night shifts.

However,
looking back now, that time was by no means wasted.

I believe it was precisely because of that tension that my ability to think for myself gradually developed.

If there is anyone out there right now
clutching their pager during a night shift.

That time will surely turn into the strength to protect someone someday.

I truly believe that.


You are not alone.

Thank you for all your hard work again today.