[Treatment Diary 56] Somehow finished radiation therapy

I finished all 10 radiation therapy sessions today.
There were three major hurdles, but I managed to overcome them safely. My stomach pain is severe today, but I am somehow enduring it. It is impossible to stand and do anything, but if I take extra medication and sit down, I am fine. Since I can resume Lenvima tomorrow, the pain should gradually subside.

Looking back, the final hurdle was on Monday.
On that day, I left the house at 9:00 AM, and when I arrived at the hospital, I first had blood and urine tests. After that, I had my ureteral stent replaced at the urology department.
The replacement happens once every three months. The replacement is still less painful than when it was first inserted, and since this was already the third time, I don't feel as much fear as before. I also learned that there is a jelly that numbs the pain a little.
Even so, it is still scary because it is replaced without anesthesia, and because of the location, there is also a sense of shame and humiliation, which makes me feel truly depressed in many ways. In addition to the physical pain, my mental state is also affected.

Also, I learned that the pain changes depending on the skill of the doctor performing the procedure. The time before last, they applied the jelly, so there was almost no pain, and I was happy, thinking, "The jelly is amazing! I can do this!" However, last time, even though they applied the jelly, it hurt. It also took a very long time.
I learned that even with the jelly, pain is pain, and I was trembling with fear again this time. But, there was not that much pain! The procedure time was also fast.

It is not about whether there is jelly or not. It is the doctor's skill!
I understood clearly this time. When I go to the restroom after the replacement, there is usually a little bleeding for two or three times, but this time there was almost no blood. Looking back, when it hurt last time, there was so much bleeding that I worried, "Is this okay?" Of course, by night, the blood stops showing on the toilet paper.
In other words, if the doctor is unskilled, it causes wounds during the replacement, which leads to bleeding. It takes time because they are unskilled. It hurts because it causes wounds.
Since there was a clear difference, I finally understood. If you get a skilled doctor, it is fast, painless, and does not bleed. If you get an unskilled doctor, it is the exact opposite.
Unfortunately, we cannot choose the doctor, so I have no choice but to pray that I get a good one. I thought I was lucky to have a skilled doctor this time.

After finishing the stent replacement, I went to the radiology department. I was fitted with a mask that looked like a death mask, which I have become accustomed to, and received radiation therapy.
After that, I went to the gynecology department. At this stage, it was already 12:30 PM. I heard the results of the blood and urine tests from the morning.
Perhaps thanks to not taking Lenvima, my kidney function has improved considerably, and my urinary protein was plus 2 for the first time in a while. (When it is bad, it is plus 4 or more, and they say, "I've never seen a number like this.")
There is inflammation, but it does not seem to be as bad as my attending physician thought, and they said, "Well, this is good, isn't it?" in a way that sounded as if good numbers were not necessarily a good thing. The attending physician meant no harm and was saying it out of relief, but they seemed unconvinced that the results were different from their many years of experience.

For now, they said, "That's good."
However, the frustration of not being able to do anything more than this.
In the end, as usual, even if they held their head and said, "What should we do?", no method was found, and it ended with, "Let's wait and see," and the consultation was over.
They added words of comfort, saying, "Sometimes a new drug that can be used suddenly comes out."

However, my kidney function is improving, it seems I can continue Lenvima, albeit shakily, and the radiation therapy is going well, so I feel that I am doing everything I can right now and getting decent results, so that is fine. I will not ask for luxury.
I made an appointment for a month later, received my prescription, and finally went to pay.

The pharmacy after that was long again. When I received my medicine after waiting for an hour, it was already 3:00 PM.
I left the house at 9:00 AM and this is what happened. If it weren't for my husband's ride, it would have been a disaster.
After finishing a long and difficult day, I endured the pain even after returning home, and while wondering what I was doing, I couldn't do anything about it, so I just went to sleep holding onto emptiness and loneliness.

And today, the radiation therapy ended.
The results of the treatment will not be known until the next CT scan, but the tumor in my neck, which had grown to a size visible to the eye, has become almost unnoticeable even when touched by hand.
It is quite effective. It has not completely disappeared, but I think the results of the treatment were significant. It is now small enough that I don't worry about it anymore.

However, as a side effect of the treatment, because the radiation also hit my esophagus, it has caused inflammation from my throat to my esophagus. It is not exactly pain, but I feel uncomfortable when swallowing things. It feels like I have a burn. (But it is not pain.)
Today, I had my final consultation at the radiology department, and when I mentioned that, they said, "It is esophagitis." It will heal naturally, but it will take about two weeks. It is just a little hard to swallow, and if it heals, I think that is fine.

More than that, I am happy that the treatment had results.
After the CT scan, I will consult with my gynecologist, and if there is a place where the tumor in my stomach can also be treated with radiation, they might be able to do it for me.
Even if they cannot remove it all, I think if they can at least shrink the tumor that is blocking my urethra, I could remove the ureteral stent. Or, if it shrinks, maybe the pain will be a little better.
The radiation therapy ended, giving me such a slight hope. It was tough, but I am glad I received it.

By the way, the ureteral stent replacement is treated as a "surgery," so the insurance I have pays "100,000 yen per surgery."
Simply put, it means I get 100,000 yen every time I have a replacement.

I am planning to give my husband a trip as a birthday present, and in the car on the way home from the hospital, I tried saying, "I will work hard on the stent twice, and then I will give you a trip as a present. It is money earned by literally cutting my own flesh."
"Stop it, that's such a dark joke!"
My husband was put off by it.

But really, I cannot work at all, so it cannot be helped. I wish I could get better and do the work I love again.
It seems that the days of relying on my husband will continue for a while longer.