When a mishap occurs, people's tears dry up

The other day, I was able to hold my wedding ceremony safely while being watched over by my dearest friends and others.

The ceremony began, and although I was nervous at first while walking down the aisle, seeing my friends' smiles calmed me down a little.
As I proceeded down the aisle, I spotted a friend crying their eyes out in the back.
I was drawn in and started crying too.
Since I started crying just a few steps away from the groom, I desperately tried to hold it back, but tears streamed down my face.
I must say, I think they were beautiful tears.

Just as I had fully entered 'emotional mode,' I finished the escort change and stood with the groom in front of the pastor.

“*★∂◇◎”

I couldn't hear anything.
At that moment, the song 'You Raise Me Up' was playing at full blast so the pastor's voice was completely drowned out.

During the rehearsal just before, we didn't play music and only checked key points like the veil down, the escort change, and signing the marriage certificate.
I had only been told that I should just follow the pastor's instructions during the actual ceremony for the vows and the kiss.

This wasn't what we agreed on.
I couldn't hear a single instruction.

Because I couldn't hear a thing, the beautiful tears I had shed earlier dried up completely, and I was desperately trying to hold back laughter.
The groom was the same.

To begin with, due to the mishap of being nervous plus not being able to hear any instructions, we pushed everything from the rehearsal to the back of our minds.
As a result, it was so messy that even the guests were laughing.
To give you an idea of how messy it was, during the kiss, which is the highlight of the ceremony, the pastor had to instruct us three times to 'please kiss'.

Does that even happen?

Half of the ceremony was basically a short comedy sketch.
A pastor with a voice that was too quiet, sound equipment that was too loud, and a messy bride and groom.

Well, thanks to that, I can say it was a good thing because I managed to avoid crying my eyes out and looking unsightly.

Next was the reception.
The bride's letter part, which I originally wasn't planning to do.
The reason I wasn't planning to do it was because I have absolutely nothing to write to my father.
I really don't get along with my father.
I get along well with my mother, so I have plenty of words for her.
However, I have nothing for my father.
If I didn't mention my father at all in the bride's letter, the guests would feel awkward.
So, as a compromise, I was going to omit the bride's letter part.
But as the ceremony approached, I realized the fatal flaw that 'without the bride's letter part, there would be almost zero emotional moments.'
So, I had no choice but to read it.

I wrote a message for my father that was 100% flattery that I didn't mean even one millimeter, and I wrote my true feelings for my mother.
Therefore, the content of the message to my father was as full of lies as the goal setting you're forced to make at work.

Since the first half was just me speaking 100% pure lies, I read it without a hitch in my usual monotone voice.
However, I choked up when I entered my mother's part.
I read it while sobbing normally.
Because my crying face is too ugly, I didn't look up, so I didn't see them directly, but I think the guests were crying quite a bit too.

When I managed to finish reading the letter and looked forward, the sight that met my eyes was my father crying his eyes out for some reason, and my mother with a straight face—a sight that was backwards no matter how you looked at it.

At that point, my sentimental feelings rapidly shrank.
I could feel my feelings wilting as fast as when you see someone you're interested in speaking informally to a shop clerk.

When I went in front of my parents to hand over the letter and the weight bear, my feelings were frozen even more.

As for my father, he was 'My runny nose won't stop' and was sobbing in a way I had never seen before.
And my mother had a face from which no emotion could be read.

If you were listening to the letter being read, anyone would know that the bride's tears were for her mother.
After all, I started crying openly during my mother's part.

Perhaps that didn't get through to my mother?
If she understood and still acted like that, then she is an Iron Lady on par with Margaret Thatcher.

When I asked my mother for the reason later, this was the answer I got.
“You were crying so much that I was on edge wondering if you could read properly. Also, I was completely put off by your father, who was sobbing uncontrollably next to me for some reason.”

Yes, just like me, my mother was put off by my father, and the tears that should have been there dried up.

Friends who don't know the relationship between my father and me, or his hopeless character, apparently cried along with him when they saw him sobbing.
However, friends who do know him later said to me, “Didn't you think your father was crying too much?” It is truly embarrassing.

I want to be clear that it is fine for a father who has properly raised his child and been genuinely involved with his daughter to cry. In fact, I think it's ideal.

However, honestly speaking, my father has no right to cry. He pushed all the child-rearing onto my mother, never even changed his daughter's diaper, and knows nothing about her. He screams and yells whenever something doesn't go his way. This cannot be dismissed with platitudes like “he just can't be honest with his feelings.” Even if he truly can't be honest,

if there were love, he would at least change a diaper or provide rides

. How can a man who has never shown his daughter a shred of affection cry like that with 100% pure lies? It is a level of audacity as if he had suffered the labor pains himself.

Thanks to my father's incomprehensible tears, my feelings were flash-frozen, and I was able to reach the finale calmly.

The happening where the pastor's voice was too quiet, and my father's audacious sobbing aside, I think it was a good ceremony, and I truly enjoyed it.

Now that the first chorus of my life has ended, I am feeling listless as a vague anxiety about the future wells up, but I think I will soak in the lingering atmosphere of the ceremony for just a little longer.