"Normal" Creates Hardship in Life

"I don't really want to stand out."
"I'd be happy just living an average, normal life."

It is not at all rare to hear people say this.
They don't need special success. They aren't chasing big dreams. They just want to be at peace.

That seems like a very modest and sensible wish.
However, in reality, this desire to "be normal" has a structure thatactually ends up causing one's own suffering.

What is "normal"?

Income? Family structure? Lifestyle? Personality?
None of these have a clear standard.
—And yet, many people chase a "vague image of normal."

This is close to a phenomenon called the "internalization of structure."

In other words, it is a state where an "ideal model" within a certain era or society is unconsciously embedded inside an individual.

And the person themselves is convinced that "it's because I want to do it."

Getting a job, getting married, and having children. Working stably as a full-time employee. Acting so as not to stand out from those around you...

These "normals" have been strongly justified by the structure.
In post-war Japan, "high economic growth -> stable employment -> family model" became the foundation of society, and a structure was created where doing so was the happiest and safest path.

In other words, what we believe to be "normal" is something designed that way, and not something universal.

Then why does "wanting to be normal" create hardship in life?

It is because the "normal" in the modern age no longer holds up as a structure. Lifetime employment has collapsed. Styles of marriage and childbirth have diversified. And, through social media, the standards for "average" have multiplied infinitely.

Nevertheless, people who pursue "ordinary happiness" keep chasing a target that shifts every time they try to reach it. Moreover, it is determined by things "outside of oneself," such as other people's posts and the atmosphere of society. In short, the wish to "be normal" is nothing more than entrusting one's inner self to an external structure.

So, how can one become free from that structure?

One key is the perspective that "normal is not something to aim for, but something to create."

For example, if you grind beans and brew coffee every morning, that becomes "your normal."

Rather than whether it is more or less than those around you, by building up a rhythm where you can be yourselfand accumulating it, you can design a normal that is uniquely yours.

Also, when you feel like you "want to be normal," it is effective to make a habit of asking yourself, "Who decided that this is 'normal'?"

Through this question, you should be able to view the "internalization of structure" from the outside.

When we wish to "be normal," we are actually wishing to "feel secure," "not be left out," and "not fail."

That emotion itself is perfectly natural.
However, the more we try to obtain that security and connection through a "structure designed by others," the more our own footing becomes unstable.That is precisely why it is necessary to redefine what is normal for ourselves, using our own "comfort" as the standard.
That is the new structural design that is being sought right now.

That feeling of suffocation—
that is probably because of the "structure."

The previous #StructuralAnalysisSeries was...

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