The One Truth for Those Who Struggle with Choices

It is often said that life is a series of choices. Education, employment, changing jobs, marriage, moving. Even when it comes to lunch at a convenience store, it seems we are forced to make a "choice." Yet, every time, I find myself standing before these options, agonizing endlessly.
Which one should I choose? Which one will lead to no failure? Which one will leave me with no regrets—

However, there is a paradox here.

People do not really agonize over truly important choices.
For example, no one spends five minutes agonizing over whether to escape to the right or the left when a fire breaks out. When the life of a loved one is in danger, no one rationally analyzes whether or not to go save them. These are not "options" but closer to "actions." Before you can even hesitate, your body moves on its own.

Conversely, what we continue to agonize over are only options where neither choice would change things dramatically.
Should I have pasta or curry? Should I change jobs or stay? Should I confess my feelings or wait and see? These are options that emerge in situations where only the "relatively better" choices remain in life.

In other words, the fact that you are agonizing means you have already reached a stage where "either is fine".
When there is an obviously bad option among the choices, people do not hesitate.In job hunting, almost no one chooses between a company with an annual salary of 1 million yen and one with 5 million yen. In friendships, if there is someone who "clearly belittles you" and someone you can "trust," there is no need to hesitate about who to associate with.

But the problem arises when both have pros and cons. Company A has a high salary but the work seems tough. Company B seems to have a good environment but the salary is lower. Or sometimes, both are similar and you "cannot tell the difference."

What arises in these situations is not "anxiety of choice" but "responsibility for the future."

People do not agonize over the act of choosing, but rather feel anxious about whether they can prove that the future after choosing was "correct". That is precisely why the act of "choosing" itself feels like a "risk."

However, let's change our perspective here.
In the first place, isn't the very fact that you "can agonize" a "fortunate state"?

When people are in such dire straits that they cannot choose, they cannot agonize. When you are anxious about even tomorrow's meal, noble worries like "should I change jobs?" do not arise. You can only agonize because "a certain level of safety is already guaranteed," and in a sense, it is a "byproduct of affluence."

Furthermore, the structure of "it doesn't change much regardless of which you choose" is the essence of the worry.

A or B, which way to go? Once you actually choose, you have no choice but to make an effort to "make the chosen path the correct one." Nevertheless, you remain trapped by the "possible future" of "maybe B would have been better..."

In psychology, this is called "choice regret." And interestingly, the best way to reduce this regret is to "not give meaning to the choice itself".

In other words, doubt the simple causal theory that "I succeeded because I chose this" or "I failed because I didn't choose that." Rather, successful people may not have made the right choice from the beginning, but simply possessed the "skill to make what they chose look like the correct answer."

Thinking about it that way, one could say that a choice is not "something that guarantees the future," but "an act that provides conviction".

The fact that you decided for yourself gives meaning to your subsequent actions. That is precisely why you can choose based on "whether you can be convinced" rather than "whether it is correct". On top of that, you just need to turn the place you chose into your "home."

In short, it is okay to agonize. But the reason that agony does not end is not a problem of the options, but that you must admit somewhere that "you just don't want to decide yet".

So, I want you to think of it this way.
"If you are agonizing, it means either one is fine.".

At that moment, you become free from the illusion of choice. And perhaps, you can finally start walking.