When You're Worried About Your Career | The Story of Quitting Nursing Just Before My 30s to Become a Midwifery Student

Hello, it's Koko.
Today, with the theme of #CareerInYour30s,
I want to talk about the time I struggled a lot just before turning 30 and decided to aim to become a midwife!
It got a little long, so please feel free to just take a look at the parts you're interested in.

The man who became the catalyst for changing my life

In my mid-20s, I had a man I was dating with marriage in my future plans.
He said he wanted to go out of the prefecture for work, and since it was achallenge to do what he wanted to do, I supported him with all my might.
At the same time, my life started to move significantly because of this, as I wondered: Should I go with him? Should we do long-distance for now?

I realized my true feelings

Since I was a nurse, I thought I could find a job anywhere if I looked, and I even thought that this might be a good opportunity to change jobs!
However, I had built a career at my current workplace, I was being entrusted with various things, and while it was tough, it was fun, so I also had the thought thatit would be a waste to quit now.
Besides, I love my family and my hometown (the countryside), so I didn't want to leave if possible, and I had doubts about living the rest of my life out of the prefecture (in the city).
Yes, I couldn't say "I'll go with you!" without hesitation, and I realized that I might not truly desire marriage with him.
We never fought while dating, and I thought we could live happily enough even if we got married, but there was a slight snag somewhere in my heart. I won't go into details, but it was about a slight difference in values. (It felt like things I hold very dear, he didn't consider important.)

~It's natural to have differences in values, but when choosing a partner to spend your life with, it's better to havesomeone who cherishes the values you hold dear☺️~

And if I didn't go with him, even if we stayed together long-distance, if he had no plans to return to our hometown, there would be no marriage in our future, right?
So, I talked properly with him about our future, and we broke up so that we could each follow our own paths.
My plan of getting married in my late 20s, having children by 30, taking maternity leave, and returning to work... all of that disappeared.
Now single, I prepared myself to be single for life and decided that from now on, I wouldlive by cherishing the voice of my own heart.
Also, seeing him challenge himself to do what he wanted to do, I thought it was cool, and I started to think,I want to try harder too, what is it that I really want to do?

Future career options

The options I considered at this time were:
・Continue building my career at my current workplace
・Transfer to the obstetrics and gynecology department or NICU that I had hoped for since I joined, or change jobs to an obstetric clinic
・Change jobs to visiting nursing, as I also had a desire to provide more careful care to each individual as a nurse
・Go down a completely different path

Things I did when I was worried (some with real examples)

The first thing I did waswrite it all out.
Regarding the options I listed earlier, I wrote down
・Why I want to do that ・The pros and cons of choosing that
for each one.
And to understand and organize myself, I also wrote down the following endlessly.

*( ) shows a part of what I wrote down.*

・Things I cherish daily(Cherishing my heart and body, always having a feeling of gratitude, curiosity, etc.)

・Things I cherish in work(Valuing fulfillment over money, interacting with people, facing the other person sincerely, understanding and respecting the other person's feelings and position, etc.)

・Things I like(Spacing out in nature, growing plants and yeast, interacting with children, making things, eating delicious food, etc.)

・Things I'm good at
(Looking at things positively, behind-the-scenes work, etc.)
・Things I want to do(A careful life, wanting to go to various places in Japan and abroad, wanting to try work involved in agriculture or building a house, being a craftsman or mastering something, etc.)

・Things I don't want to do(Desk work facing a computer all day, living based on others' standards, etc.)

・What social issues I'm interested in(Declining birthrate, abuse and sexual victimization, suicide, shortage of agricultural successors, price competition due to TPP, etc.)

・How I want to contribute to society(Wanting to spread the importance of life and food, wanting to increase the number of people who can cherish both themselves and others, wanting to support moms struggling with childbirth and child-rearing, etc.)
I'll skip it, but I even wrote things like:
・What is my ideal marriage partner, and what kind of life do I want to walk with a partner?
・If I were single for life, what would I want to do before I die?
Haha!
I wrote it down as it came to mind like this, so it was quite messy, but I weighed various things and asked myself,

When I'm lost, which one makes my heart excited?.In doing so, I realized that
I want to prioritize what I want to do over stability and money.I think this is different for everyone.
I also think I would prioritize stability and money if I had marriage or childbirth ahead of me, so it changes depending on the situation and environment at that time.
And, as a result of worrying about various things, I chose to work in obstetrics and gynecology or the NICU!
Furthermore, I thought that if I went into that environment, given my personality, I would want to be more involved with moms and support childbirth, so I decided to go down the path of becoming a midwife! (There are other reasons, too.)
Studying for the midwifery school entrance exam while working was tough, but I thought,
If you decide to do it, you can actually do it.The national exam is still ahead, so I'll do my best in my studies!

Summary

I've had failures and detours, but I don't think they were failures or mistakes; they were all necessary experiences.
The struggles, challenges, and experiences in your 20s and 30s build the foundation for your 30s and 40s, and I believe they make life richer!
I know many people hesitate because of their age, but if you truly want to do something, age doesn't matter, does it?
However, I felt that being single is the best, as you can use your time and money for yourself and take on any challenge without fear.
Of course, I believe you can do anything at any time if you have the motivation, even if you have a partner.
From my experience, when you're worried, I think it's important to
• Do some self-analysis
• Don't worry too much about social standing or other people's opinions, and don't compare yourself to others
• Don't lie to your heart or suppress your feelings
• Make your own choices and take responsibility for them
.
I think your priorities will change depending on your environment at the time, but if you can clarify what you want to value most at that moment and make a choice you can be happy with, that is enough.
There is no such thing as perfection or a single right answer, so let's be grateful for being alive and enjoy life to the fullest♪

~Bonus~
The photo is of a banyan tree in Okinawa!
Banyan trees are said to be "trees that bring happiness." May happiness come to all of you🕊️
Thank you for reading!