When strictness and indulgence become less important

When are the times you think, 'Oh, I just want to lean on someone!'?

It would be nice to be able to lean on others, but I suspect there are quite a few people who, for some reason, find it difficult to do so.

Many people feel guilty about leaning on someone, or believe that it is wrong to do so, which acts as a brake, doesn't it?

In fact, many people believe that they absolutely must not lean on others.

This is because they have heard and seen many times that they should not lean on others and should be strict with themselves.

Because when you hear and see something many times, it becomes the truth.

Certainly, even if you hide your weak points and put on a brave face, if you are forcing yourself and acting, the backlash will eventually come back to you.

Accept your weak points honestly and think about what you can do.

And while being natural should conversely lead to strength, let's think about why you shouldn't lean on others and why it's considered bad.

Perhaps because leaning on others is taking the easy way out.

Or because if you lean on others, you will become useless.

It is better to be aware that humans are truly weak, and even if you understand in your head that it is important not to indulge in your own weaknesses, what happens if you think about whether taking it easy is really wrong, or how exactly you would become useless if you leaned on others?

When you ask if it is really that bad, or if you would really become useless if you leaned on others, isn't that not necessarily the case?

After all, everything in the world is made in pursuit of convenience so that we can have an easier life, isn't it?

Electricity, gas, home appliances, computers, the internet, mail order, deli sections, bento boxes, instant foods, and so on.

It is a natural human desire to want to take it easy if possible.

In reality, even if you want to lean on others or want to take it easy, there are many times when the situation does not allow it, so I think it is fine to take it easy where you can.

Certainly, being strict with yourself can lead to growth in some areas.

However, if you are too strict and become discouraged or ruin your health, there will be no growth at all.

If you can think that it is okay to lean on others where it is not necessary, while maintaining the right, moderate level of strictness where it is needed, you will feel refreshed and at ease.

By saving your energy and focusing it where it counts, you become more efficient and can recover faster even when you get tired.

Of course, there are areas where being too indulgent won't work, so it comes down to judging where to be strict and where to be indulgent.

In what areas are you strict with yourself?

"Suffering is a hard test, but it also cultivates our character." E. S. Stern (Columnist)

Since you can definitely become stronger and grow more than before if you overcome suffering, I think it is also a valid approach to always visualize yourself after overcoming a difficult situation and use that image of a more advanced version of yourself as emotional support to get through the hardship.

"Progress is directly proportional to the severity of self-reflection." Soichiro Honda (Founder of Honda Motor Co., Ltd.)

If you learn a lot from your experiences, there is that much more you can improve and that much more room for growth; if you don't learn, you will never grow from there, so I think it is also a valid approach to constantly grow by repeating the process of reflecting and improving.

For example, the true secret or key to communication at work is not indulging in the expectation that others will "just guess what I mean."

To avoid making convenient assumptions and to properly speak and listen to others, it is necessary to stop being lazy and change from "I assume" communication to "it might be" communication.

Do you ever have the mindset that you must be strict with yourself, leading you to choose the harder path?

If that has worked for you, that's wonderful, but if you are failing or suffering because of it, it is a good chance to reconsider that concept of having to be strict.

If you say you are always on edge because you tend to be too indulgent, please check once more whether you are truly valuing yourself.

If you are truly serious about yourself (if you consider yourself important), whether you are being indulgent or strict naturally becomes irrelevant.

This is because you will start choosing things based on what is truly necessary for you and what is best for you, rather than by the standards of being strict or indulgent.

Thinking about it that way, if you can value yourself, you might be able to let go of the "I must" framework—like "I must not be indulgent" or "I must be strict"—and feel more at ease.

"The beautiful spring comes after the harsh winter." Yuriko Miyamoto (Writer)

Bad things won't last forever, and conversely, good things won't last forever either, but if you discard the victim mentality and find meaning in what is right in front of you, your life should take a turn for the better.

It is not just good things that bring good results in this world; even things that seem incredibly stressful and unpleasant at first glance can be used as a trigger to create something else good, provided you can find meaning in them.

Since change is natural, I feel that if you think of that change in a positive direction and believe that even if a difficult period continues, it won't last forever, you can see that the benefits of valuing yourself have increased by one more.

The future can always be brightened by your own power, so let's believe in that and live life with resilience.