Dialogue is a Ping-Pong Game (1)

Are there any laws that remain unchanged no matter what kind of society we live in?

Does this become wisdom, and the greater the help, the greater the wisdom?

I think the feeling of searching for the unchanging laws of life (living) is what is important.

I believe that dialogue is what becomes important in the wisdom of life (living).

It is not just personal dialogue; everything begins with dialogue, and first, we attempt to resolve things through dialogue.

If it is not resolved through dialogue, it sometimes leads to violence, and between nations, it can even lead to war^^;

Looking at the many sports out there, we can see that a considerable number of them are games where a ball is exchanged.

Baseball, tennis, soccer, volleyball, table tennis...

While one might be admired for flashy techniques, if the other side can never receive the ball...

If no one could return a serve in a tennis match, it would become a truly boring game.

For example, even if you are not good at tennis, if you can exchange the ball, a certain amount of fun remains.

Even if you are not good at dialogue, if you make an effort to exchange dialogue with the other person, it becomes an interesting dialogue in itself.

At the beginning of a dialogue, since there is no ball, you have to think about how to exchange the dialogue.

Just asking questions all the time is the same as just sending tennis serves over and over.

In dialogue, the ball is often the flow of interest.

Since you often don't know what the other person is currently interested in, it is better to scatter various words, but you must confirm which of those scattered words the other person is interested in.

Otherwise, the conversation will drift along under the assumption that you share the same premise.

Just as you take breaks while playing sports, I think you need to take breaks during dialogue to have time to think about the dialogue.

Yes, dialogue requires thought.

Enjoying the act of thinking can also lead to an enjoyable dialogue.

For example, shallow practical books are popular because they are easy to understand.

Because practical books usually lack depth, they cannot enjoy popularity for a long time, and their popularity ends in a short period.

Also, dialogue requires feeling as well.

Just as you listen to a song without thinking, it is sometimes necessary to appreciate what the other person is saying.

I believe it is sometimes necessary to feel the same imagery as the other person and to simply enjoy the atmosphere.

In that case, it is better to pay attention to the tone of voice and facial expressions rather than the subject matter, isn't it?

Just like when listening to classical music.

Without criticism or opinions, just listen to what the other person has to say.

Because sometimes, things speak more eloquently than words...

Therefore, I do not think that one-sidedly forcing things is the attitude of someone engaging in dialogue.

It must be a ping-pong game where you can exchange things with each other.

Are our hearts in dialogue, embracing each other through words?

That is something I always want to keep in mind (^^)

Yes, sometimes it might be good to think about con artists.

It is also necessary to harbor doubts about whether they are truly listening with their hearts in dialogue.

Everyone lives wearing various masks, don't they?

A con artist might try to be a good parent at home, and even a mob boss who commits the worst crimes might be a person with a good heart within their own organization or family, and might even mistakenly believe that what they are doing is good.

There are also cases where the worst person at home becomes a good person in society.

Truly, the heart is easily mistaken and can change dozens of times in a single day, and if you don't keep looking at which heart is your true self, you will soon lose track, so it is really troublesome, isn't it ^^;

Because of that, even when having a dialogue, it ends up being different depending on the time and place, and I think that often leads to misunderstandings.

Therefore, rather than lamenting that you don't understand what the other person is trying to say, I think it is more constructive to improve your own ability as the receiver of the words.

First of all, we should be the ones to change ourselves, shouldn't we!

For example, all music, paintings, or rather, art, is strictly provided in an incomplete form, and the more incomplete it is, the more the receiver's ability and richness of heart are tested.

Conversations and dialogues are also always provided in this same incomplete form, so the speaker needs to make a constant effort to convey things without excess or deficiency, and the listener needs to make an effort to improve their listening skills, don't they!

When you become good at listening, you realize that various things happen during communication.

When you listen intently, the other person feels happy, don't they.

Because everyone is happy to have attention focused on them.

When the other person feels happy and gets excited, you start to feel happy too.

Then, you can draw out the information you want or useful information from the other person more and more.

People who can communicate like that are liked by everyone around them.

Since people open their hearts to those they like, you can understand the other person more deeply.

Once that happens, the conversation will flow even without common ground, and as the other person relaxes and talks, I think an 'awareness' will arise within them.

So, what exactly is listening power?

Listening involves preparation, such as studying the theme in advance, gathering background knowledge about the person, and preparing questions, but what is important is to listen while trying to visualize (as a picture) what kind of person they are (the big picture), what they are thinking, and what opinions they have.

Also, it is important not just to hear what the other person says in words, but to explore their true intentions—what is inside them.

Yes, more important than what you listen to is building a relationship of trust with the person you meet, and sincerity, isn't it.

For that reason, daily awareness of issues is important.

It is about having a broad awareness of issues on a daily basis and expanding the framework of your own perception.

It is also important to know your own personality and habits of thinking.

Because listening inevitably means perceiving the other person through your own filter.

Therefore, a work of dialogue is only completed when it aligns with the sincerity of the receiver, isn't it?

The poet Hiroshi Osada says this:

"Reading a book is not what reading is. Reading is creating a storage place in your heart for words you do not want to lose."

Come to think of it, this note is also one of those storage places (^^)

However, I keep forgetting things one after another ^^;

So, there is a possibility that I am writing and saying the same things over and over.

Even so, I would like to keep writing the words I cannot remember as many times as it takes.

Until they truly become a storehouse for my heart.

This is because in the Analects of Confucius, it says, 'I examine myself three times a day.'

Did I do things half-heartedly while claiming to serve others?

Did I do anything that lacked sincerity toward others?

Did I spread things to others that I had not verified myself?

If three times a day is impossible, it is important to examine oneself at least once every three days, isn't it (^^)

[Related Article]
Dialogue is a Ping-Pong Game (2)
https://note.com/bax36410/n/n9e24a9502a63