What if I were you?
When someone is in trouble, struggling, or feeling down.
Thinking that you want to do something for that person is what it means to care for someone important to you.
I believe every such thought is a natural emotion that arises within the relationship between you and the other person.
But, when we think about others,
don't we sometimes find ourselves thinking, "It's for your own good"?
We tend to let our own feelings come first,
thinking, "I care about you this much,"
"I'm this worried about you,"
"I like you this much,"
and it's easy to get caught up in that, but...
Rather, thinking "What if I were in their shoes" feels like looking at yourself from their perspective.
Actually, I think it takes a lot of courage to do that.
Thinking "for the other person's sake" can easily lead to spinning your wheels.
Sometimes, that focus can even be unfairly directed at the other person.
Like, "I care about you this much, so why don't you understand?"
You don't want to end up hurting someone important to you by letting things drift toward blaming them, do you?
When you start thinking like this,
the relationship between you gradually becomes awkward, so you have to put a stop to it somewhere!
But, thinking about "how I would feel if I were in the opposite position" is different.
At that moment, you are seeing things through the eyes of that important person.
When you see yourself through the eyes of someone you care about, you are surely focusing your feelings entirely on their perspective.
I think that is where true compassion is born. (^^)
Please try to think of one person who is important to you and ask yourself, 'If I were them, how would I feel?'
In reality, there is no one who can do nothing.
You can breathe, for instance.
You can even blink, right?
You might be able to think, or perhaps learn something.
However, there are not a few people who think that what they can do right now is boring. ^^;
These 'things we can do' that we overlook like this.
If we nurture these 'things we can do'.
They might grow into something that is not boring.
Or, they might become a seedbed or fertilizer for something else.
A future where hope blossoms.
It is right here, right now.
I believe it starts from the 'things we can do' that we have been overlooking. (^^)
And, toward that person.
Perhaps, you will be able to see something different than what you saw before. (^^)
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So, what kind of feeling is that feeling?
It is said that in the beginning, humans were unable to understand the feelings of others.
So, when did we first begin to understand?
When we felt 'empathy for pain'.
It is said that this was the first scene where humans understood the feelings of others.
Originally, humans were only capable of thinking about themselves.
It is said that by sharing empathy for pain, we gradually came to understand the feelings of beings other than ourselves.
I feel that if you can understand another person's heart, you can make them that much happier.
It is often difficult to understand the human heart, but I believe it is important to keep trying to 'understand'.
However, there are many times when it is difficult to put feelings into words well.
By listening slowly, very slowly.
And by waiting gently.
I want to keep trying to 'understand' others.
If you understand how the other person feels, you can support their heart.
If you understand what the other person wants, you can make them happy.
If you understand what the other person is thinking, you can be a source of strength for them.
I believe that the ideal form of love is to understand each other and think about each other's happiness.
What exists there is the movement of love.
In other words, at first, humans could only love themselves.
But, as Tagore says, if love is another name for understanding (love = understanding), then that is all the more true, isn't it?
We could only understand ourselves.
However, there came a time when we learned that it could move.
The shape of love isn't always a heart, though.
I think it is a very happy thing to have someone who understands you or tries to understand you. (^^)
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And, this is what I think is very important.
It can be quite difficult, though.
Once you empathize with their pain, you don't really need to do anything else.
Nodding and empathizing by saying, "That must have hurt."
Rather than trying to change them, first try to understand them.
Understand that they are in that state right now.
No matter how many good things you say, if you give off an aura of "change," the other person will just push back.
More than that, there are many times when they just want to be understood, right?
Their state.
Their feelings.
Rather than trying to change them, first try to understand them.
Rather than trying to change them, first try to understand them.
Above all, the desire to understand is what's important. (^^)
Because if people have someone around them who accepts them as they are, they will change naturally.
That's why you don't really need to do anything. (^^)
Change!
Rather than that, try to understand!
Indeed (^^)
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However, the more you cherish something, no matter what it is.
If your feelings are too strong.
It's as if your heart starts spinning in circles and gets tangled up.
Just because you want to cherish your connection with the other person.
If you tie it too tightly and firmly.
It's a problem because your heart ends up feeling pained ^^;
If possible, for the people you cherish most.
I hope the knot is loose enough to be untied (^^)
I want to stay connected gently, that's what I think (^^)
Even if it comes undone.
Along with your feelings.
You can retie it as many times as you like.
And you can untie it whenever you want.
And then.
Also, so that you can retie it as many times as you want d(^.^*) Right?
Nagi Yanagi "Mitsuba no Musubime"
Shall we set out on a journey now?
Swayed by an unreliable boat
With threads severed by countless storms
Even when the rain soaks into my body
Each time, I tie it again, along with these feelings
So it won't come undone, forever and ever
A single knot, tying people together
Toward the place where expectations never cease
Let's go to tomorrow
Let's go, carrying our hopes
Source: Nagi Yanagi "Mitsuba no Musubime"
[Nagi Yanagi] 7th Single "Mitsuba no Musubime" TV-CM
Note:
A trefoil knot is the simplest non-trivial knot in knot theory, a branch of topology.
It corresponds to an overhand knot in rope work.
The name is derived from the clover plant.
There are many sculptures and logos featuring trefoil knot designs; for example, the Department of Mathematics at the University of Wales uses a trefoil knot sculpture created by sculptor John Robinson as its department symbol.
[Reference Article]
Mathematics of Knots - The Mathematical Society of Japan
https://mathsoc.jp/publication/tushin/1303/1303imai.pdf