No one can deny you unless you agree to it.

No one can deny you unless you agree to it.

When you have a bad experience at work.

Eleanor Roosevelt, the wife of the 32nd U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

In other words, in principle, it is impossible for anyone to "make you feel something" without your consent.

Being denied by someone is something that will inevitably happen at some point in life.

We live and become what we have decided and accepted as "this is how it is."

The things we have decided as "this is how it is" naturally include things we have decided unconsciously.

Or rather, it can be said that "things decided unconsciously" occupy the vast majority.

Being denied or rejected may actually be the source of our greatest anxiety and fear.

Because we don't want to be denied or rejected, we prioritize others, put ourselves last, and end up feeling bad.

There are many forms of denial.

For example, feeling denied over a small difference of opinion, or feeling denied when what you have done so far is not acknowledged.

Also, when you cannot easily find a job during job hunting or career changes, you may feel as if you have been denied.

When you feel denied and are about to get depressed, what you want to remember is what is being denied.

In reality, no one can deny our very existence, so even if you are denied, it is your work, opinions, or actions, but it should not be you yourself.

Of course, there are many people who speak in a way that seems to deny a person's entire existence, but that is a misunderstanding.

Regardless of whether the person intends to do so or not, it is impossible for one human to deny the very existence of another human.

However, the reason why we feel as if we have been denied is because we get the "feeling" of being denied.

In other words, it is because we accept what the other person said as "I myself have been denied."

Because we are unconsciously choosing to do so.

It is because you are unconsciously accepting the denial yourself; in short, you are denying yourself.

No matter how much someone denies you, if you do not deny yourself, even if you take a slight hit, you should not be shaken to your core.

However, if you are denying yourself, denial from someone else becomes a major blow.

Because when you are already shaking, someone else is shaking you even further.

If you intend not to be shaken, even if you are shaken temporarily, you can return to your original state relatively quickly.

While one can deny your words, actions, work, or the results of something, no one can deny your very existence.

Except for yourself, that is.

If you deny yourself, you stop right there.

Since it is the opposite of cherishing yourself or liking yourself, life becomes very difficult, painful, and hard to live.

If you feel like you have been denied, try to remember that it is when you are denying yourself.

Remember that there is no need for that.

And let us learn to affirm ourselves, everything included.

Even if there are failures, and even if someone denies something about you in the future, cultivate the feeling that you will not deny yourself.

As you get used to this way of thinking, life will become easier.

Even if it does not seem true at first, remember it daily and get used to it.

Also, when you think, 'I've been denied! I'm depressed!', you cannot be calm, so it might be hard to see that you do not have to be denied.

At such times, regardless of denial, change your mood or do whatever it takes to first create an environment where you can look at yourself a little more objectively.

It is not too late to think about it again after you have calmed down.

【Reference Article】
【Kodo Nishimura's “Out of the Box!” #05】 I have suffered from verbal abuse. How can I reclaim myself?
https://telling.asahi.com/article/13725931

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
https://yurialee.com/no_one_can_make_you_feel-1283

Why does Adlerian psychology teach that "inferiority feelings can be a source of strength"?
https://www.sbbit.jp/article/cont1/29984