Why does my 1.5-year-old glare when scolded? It actually wasn't defiance.

Recently, when I warn my 1.5-year-old daughter about something dangerous,
she sometimes glares at me intently.

She stares at me with a sullen face,
and sometimes doesn't move for a while.

At first,

“Wait, is she being defiant?”
“Has she already entered the 'terrible twos' phase?”

I thought.

Honestly,

“Why are you making such an uncute face? 😂”
there were days when I thought that (lol).

But, when I think about her development,
this expression might have a different meaning.

Today, I would like to think together about [Why does a 1.5-year-old glare when scolded?]
🌱

Not “defiance,” but a sign that her “own feelings” are growing

Around the age of 1.5, the feeling of “I want to do it myself!” becomes increasingly strong.

Miya-baby also,

✅ Wants to wash her hands by herself! (but can't do it well)
✅ Wants to eat by herself! (but drops food everywhere)
✅ Wants to help with shopping! (brings me everything)

Every day, it's full of “I want to do it myself!”

On the other hand, this is still a time when it is difficult to convey her feelings
in words.

Therefore,

・I wanted to do it.
・I'm frustrated that I was stopped.
・Why is it not allowed?

She tries to convey those feelings through her expressions and attitude.

The look that seems like a glare
might be her own way of expressing herself as much as she can.

This is also proof that her “ego” is growing.

Of course, that doesn't mean it's okay to allow dangerous things.
In our house, we are the type to firmly stop dangerous things.

I believe that adults need to firmly stop things

that involve life or safety.
But, since I learned that I don't have to deny her feelings

after that,
my way of interacting has changed a little.

The way I consciously speak to her

I firmly stop dangerous things.

On top of that,

“You wanted to do it, didn't you.”
“You were frustrated that you were stopped, weren't you.”
I first
try to speak for her feelings.

After that,

“This is dangerous, so let's stop.”

“You can do this instead.”

I then tell her the next action.

Then, although not every time,
I feel like there are more days when she switches her mood quickly.
Recently,

when I ask, “Did you want to do more?”

she nods, and sometimes smiles with an expression that looks like she felt acknowledged.

“It got through to her.”

Such moments have been increasing little by little.

The experience of having feelings spoken for leads to language

Children, while repeating the experience of having their emotions
put into words by adults,

“This is the feeling of being frustrated.”

“This is the feeling of being sad.”

they gradually connect emotions and words.

Even if she can only glare for now,
by accumulating those experiences, eventually

“I didn't like that.”

“I was frustrated.”

I think she will be able to convey it in her own words.

I hope she becomes a person who can express her feelings in words in the future,
and a person who can gradually regulate her own mood. 😊

Finally

My daughter's expression that I used to think
“Is she being defiant?”

But now,
I have come to think, “She is trying her best to convey her feelings.”
Of course, I can't always respond with composure every time.

Even so, just knowing the background of a child's behavior

makes a parent's feelings a little easier.
If your child glares when warned,

or makes a sullen face,
that might be proof that their “own feelings” are growing.
While firmly stopping dangerous things,

I want to continue to be close to those feelings.

Comments wanted ✨

What kind of expression does your child make after being scolded? 😊

Also, what kind of things do you say when they do something dangerous?

I would be happy if you could tell me in the comments ✨

Bonus

In our house, naturally,

Mom → In charge of scolding
Dad → In charge of comforting

has become our division of roles (lol).

After being scolded by me, my daughter

runs up to “Dad~ 🥺”

and while pointing at me, she is explaining something very earnestly (lol).

Surely,

“I was scolded by Mom!”

she must be telling him 😂

When I see that, I think, “Maybe this is a division of roles that is typical for our family.”

Check out other articles too 🌷

That said, on days when I'm parenting alone, I can't always respond with this much composure every day.

There is also an article summarizing the games that actually helped me a lot from 0 to 1.5 years old on such days 🙌

Please read this too if you'd like 😊