What is a good friend? ✧♡
I liked the expression kindred spirits that I discovered in Anne of Green Gables, but in the book I was reading afterward by Seikan Kobayashi, The Importance of Living, The Importance of Dying there was something important written about friends. Let me summarize it.
Among the ten great disciples of the Buddha, there was a young disciple named Ananda who was about 30 years younger than the Buddha. He is considered the one who attained enlightenment latest among the ten great disciples, and he is called the
Foremost in Hearing
sage because he listened to the Buddha's sermons more than anyone else. While other disciples were given names based on being the wisest or other various qualities, he was only evaluated for having heard a lot.
Compared to the other disciples, he was a very kind person who would get caught up in worries along with others, which delayed his enlightenment. Until just before the Buddha entered Nirvana, Ananda was troubled and could not detach himself from worldly desires. The Buddha often took such an Ananda with him on his travels.
In the middle of one such journey, Ananda asked this question:
"Master, it seems that having a good friend is half of the holy path, is that not so?" (Seikan's thought: Holy path = the correct way of living) At that time, the Buddha answered like this:
"Ananda, having a good friend is not half of the holy path" (omitted)
"Ananda, having a good friend is not half of the holy path, but the whole of the holy path."
The Buddha explained it this way:
"By making me (the Buddha) your friend, a person can live without fearing illness even though they have a body that ages. Even though they have a body that may become ill, they can live without fearing illness. Even though they have a body that must surely die, they can escape the fear of death. Having a good friend is an absolute condition for living happily."
A true "friend" does not seem to be a playmate or a companion for fun, but someone who teaches you "realizations" that help alleviate even a little of your life's worries, suffering, distress, and worldly desires.
At the same time, it also means that becoming such a presence yourself is a condition for being called a "good friend."
Teaching each other in that way, sharing learning and realizations, and exchanging thoughts might be what a "friend" is.
To recognize the existence of an essential "friend," it might be necessary to also correctly recognize what "happiness" is.
This is because "happiness" is not about "obtaining something" or "getting what you wanted," but about knowing that "the current you is in 'happiness' and exists within 'happiness'."
If you feel "happiness" because you wanted to obtain something or get something more than you have now, and that was sought and obtained, then life would be nothing but full of suffering. This is because there is almost nothing that can be obtained exactly as you wish. As long as you are thinking about "obtaining" or "getting," I don't think true "happiness" can be attained.
A friend for "recognizing," not a friend for "obtaining," is a true friend seems to be what the Buddha meant by "friend."
By talking about "I felt this" or "I thought this way," you put down your burdens, feel relieved, and life becomes easier; such companions are what the Buddha would call true "friends."
Thinking of it that way, you can see that "someone who teaches you something" or "someone whose words or realizations make you feel relieved and happy" is an essential "friend." It doesn't matter if there is an age gap or if they are of a different gender.
Seikan-san considers the difference between a master and a friend here. Isn't it the difference between "one-way" and "two-way"? Friends are those who talk to each other.
From Ananda's perspective, the Buddha was certainly his master. However, the Buddha might have learned much, or had realizations, or reached enlightenment through Ananda's casual remarks. In that sense, Ananda might have been a friend to the Buddha.
Since the beginning of this year, I have been talking in the comment sections of articles with companions who have been weaving boats to cross the sea of note, and whenever something happens, we all confide our worries and comment to each other. Isn't this exactly us? ( ﾟДﾟ)
Today, I am happy to know that this was indeed what the Buddha called a true friend. (October 29th)
My true friends on note ✧♡
Thank you for always listening to my consultations when I run into difficulties,
Thank you (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡
Another thing that caught my attention was the name Ananda.
There is a shop run by a qigong practitioner related to Seikan Kobayashi named Ananda in my local area, and half a year has passed since I thought I would find the location and go there someday.
I learned that Ananda is a name like the person who heard Seikan Kobayashi's teachings the most. I was told this before by a wonderful noter named mick-san, and recently, I also heard from Noriko's Six Rich-san that she has received remote treatment there.
It's the third time it's come up in a book ( ﾟДﾟ)
Maybe this isn't the time to hesitate because there doesn't seem to be a parking lot.
I am being told to leave note and go out into the town.
I might just go there and think, "Ah, that's it! That's what it is!" ✧♡
