The Creepy Way Middle School Seat Changes Are Decided

The other day, I had lunch for the first time in a while with a mom friend from my daughter's kindergarten days. (Yes, I do have social interactions without alcohol, lol.)

S-kun and T-kun were boys my daughter was close with back in kindergarten. I remember them both being cheerful and kind. We hadn't seen them for a while after they went to different elementary schools, but then they reunited in middle school and became friends again... well, they are at that age where boys and girls are self-conscious about everything, you know. Lol.

This time, S-kun's mom told me she was worried about whether he had any friends, and when I asked my daughter, she said he was indeed a "solitary cool guy." He dislikes hanging out in groups and even runs home alone from the choir competition venue (which is about 6 kilometers away).

I heard from T-kun's mom that he's been leaning toward school refusal lately. Since my daughter is in the same class, I told her I was worried about what was going on with T-kun, and she shared a lot of things she'd heard from his mom. Basically, it's things like, "The school system is full of useless stuff, the teachers are unreasonable, I'm not actually an honor student, and I hate studying. All the expectations are becoming a burden." His mom was worried that maybe she'd made him endure too much since he's the third child, but it doesn't seem that serious to me. I think it's just a state where his mind and body are changing so rapidly that they can't keep up. In fact, he even said, "I'm worried because my leg hair and beard are getting thick," lol.

When I told my daughter about T-kun saying, "I'm not an honor student," it led to the topic of the "seat changes" in the title, so this time I'd like to write about the "creepiness of how seat changes are decided" that my daughter feels.

【 Daughter's Perspective 】

"Mom, listen. I'm not convinced by the way seat changes are decided now. It feels really creepy. Will you listen?"

1. First, decide on the group leaders

Six people are chosen from the 35 students by vote—people who seem smart, have a strong voice, show leadership, or seem like they can get along well with the teacher.

2. The six chosen leaders hold a leader meeting

The leaders gather and talk about this and that to form "groups that seem like they'll work out somehow."

3. Once the groups are decided, the seats are decided

The leaders combine the members they've chosen to decide the seating order. In other words, if you become a leader, you won't be placed near people you don't like. By the way, with this method, it doesn't matter if you have poor eyesight. My daughter has less than 0.1 vision, but no matter how many times they change seats, she's always in the back row.

"Mom, do you get it? Do you understand this creepiness?"
"They call themselves leaders, but what authority do they have to decide things like that?"
"It's weird, right? And what even is a group leader? We eat lunch in silence now, so groups don't matter, and it doesn't matter who the leader is."
"They should just decide by lottery, and if it gets noisy during class, they can just change the seats again. Honestly, it's really creepy to think about the leaders talking about the other students behind their backs. Who do they think they are?"
"Well, having said all that, my current seat isn't actually that bad."

So it's not bad after all, lol.

【 Mother's Perspective 】

"I get it!!! I totally get it! Will you listen to my memories? Please, will you listen?"

When I was in middle school, even though I was the captain of the tennis club, I wasn't the type of person who could show leadership everywhere. Looking back now, I could be a leader among girls, but as soon as boys were involved, that ability would vanish instantly. That's because I would just mess around with the silly boys.

Because I was always categorized as a "person to watch out for," there was no way I could ever become a group leader. Whenever they did seat changes using a system similar to my daughter's, the leaders would always put me in with the "quiet members."

The absolute worst was the school trip in the third year of middle school. The group we were in for the Kyoto and Nara trip was, even thinking about it now, a truly hopeless group.

The girls other than me were two super quiet girls who never said a word.
The three boys were E, the group leader; M, the troublemaker; and N, the nerd.

Group leader, you should have picked people you liked more. Why are you such a pushover? There was no need to put together a group of such weirdos.

Even now, when I look back, the only way I could get through being in that group was by constantly teasing the group leader E and getting into arguments with the troublemaker M. Of course, my seat next to me was always, without fail, the nerd N!!!

Haa, haa.

Listening to my daughter's stories brings back memories of my own past.

＊

Looking at it this way, I still think this mysterious 'seat change by choosing a group leader' is a creepy system. Wouldn't it be fine to just decide by 'drawing lots' like my daughter says? I mean, it feels a bit wrong for students to be sizing each other up, doesn't it? You end up thinking, 'Who do you think you are to judge others?'

By the way, my daughter says she's going to aim to be the group leader next time, and when she does, she's going to take the plunge and 'propose drawing lots.' That's right! Go for it!!!

So, I intend to keep listening to my daughter's stories, reflecting on my own middle school days, and continuing to talk about this and that together lol