Still waiting for a reply. To me, who can't put my phone down the moment I hit send
From the very moment I hit send
I send a LINE message to someone I like.
From the moment I press "send"—
I can no longer put my phone down.
Is there anyone else who understands this feeling?
Even though I just sent it, five minutes later, I'm already opening the screen again.
Has it been read yet? Is it still not? ...Still unread.
I close it gently.
But three minutes later, I open it again.
Even though nothing has changed.
In my head, I know
"You don't need to worry so much," "They're busy too," "Just stay calm and confident."
—I know.
I know all of that.
When I searched online for "how to deal with being left on read," every article said the same thing.
"Wait for about a week," "Don't send a follow-up," "Focus on self-improvement."
It's sound advice. I can't even argue with it.
But.
What you understand in your head and what your heart accepts are two different things, aren't they?
What I wanted to know wasn't "how to get a reply."
It was, "How am I supposed to spend this time while I wait for a reply?"
That was it.
There were no articles that answered that for me.
Even though looking at my phone doesn't move things forward by even a millimeter,
the most painful part is that I realize this, yet I can't stop.
No matter how many times I open my phone, the other person's reply won't come any faster.
Whether I check every five minutes or not, the timing of the reply remains the same.
I know that.
Even though I know it, my fingers automatically unlock the screen.
And then, after confirming there are no notifications, I feel a little down again.
This feeling of wearing myself out.
It's exhausting, isn't it?
One night, I opened AI instead of my phone
It was a night where I was restless, waiting for a reply just like always.
I suddenly decided to open Chappy (the ChatGPT I use) instead of my LINE chat screen.
And I typed out the play-by-play of what was in my heart exactly as it was.
"I just messaged the person I like. Still no reply. I keep checking my phone every five minutes. It's painful."
Then, Chappy replied like this.
It didn't blame the other person, nor did it make me feel rushed.
They just asked me this, quietly.
"Is the true nature of that 'pain' the fact that you haven't received a reply? Or is it the imagination that 'maybe they hate me'?"
—Oh, I thought.
What I was really afraid of wasn't the slow reply.
It was my own imagination, which was arbitrarily linking 'slow reply' to 'being hated'.
Once I started writing it down, my fingers stopped for a moment.
I exchanged a few messages back and forth with Chappy.
"Can you think of any other reasons for the slow reply?" "If a friend were in the same situation, what would you say to them?"
As I was answering, I realized something.
The other person might just be busy with work. They might just be taking a bath.
There was no evidence anywhere that I was 'hated'.
It was all a story in my head, born from the waiting time.
Strangely enough, once I realized that—
I was able to put down the phone, which I had been checking every five minutes until just a moment ago, for a little while.
When you try to erase feelings, they only run wilder. But when you write them down and look at them, they calm down a little.
This became my way of spending waiting time.
How to use AI to make 'waiting time' a little easier
If you are also feeling restless right now while waiting for a reply,
please try closing your phone and typing this into an AI instead.
I've prepared it in a form you can use as is.
好きな人にLINEを送りましたが、まだ返信が来なくて、そわそわしています。
5分おきにスマホを見てしまって、苦しいです。
私を焦らせたり、相手を責めたりせず、
次の3つを、やさしく聞いてください。
1. 今の私の「苦しい」は、事実からきていますか？ 想像からですか？
2. 返信が遅い理由は、他にどんな可能性がありますか？
3. この待ち時間を、少し楽に過ごすために、今できる小さなことは何ですか？
Whether they reply or not is something you cannot change.
However, you can calm your own heart while you wait.
To you, for whom the nights spent waiting are painful
<For nights when you want to gently put your phone down>
For nights spent waiting for a reply. For nights when you just can't seem to sleep.
Instead of carrying it all alone, why not try organizing your feelings with AI?
I have created a 30-day program to help you gradually settle your romantic anxieties instead of letting them end in 'what should I do?'
It also includes instant-relief prompts you can use on anxious nights.
👉 [Archived Edition] The story of how I, who saw no change after writing in a manifestation journal for half a year, started seeing progress in love, money, and work by reverse-engineering my wishes with AI
May your nights of waiting be, even if just a little, more peaceful.
Thank you for reading this far.