Letting Go of 'If I Try Hard, I Can Do It' — How to Live from Now On in My 40s

I decided not to work on my beloved rice field this year.

The reason was that work had become busy, but in reality, it was becauseI had reached a point where I put a stop to the way I had been living until now.

It was a spring spent reflecting on how I live.

I discovered note and fell in love with the 'world of writing,' and
I found a new place to pour my energy into.

My dream of publishing a Kindle book,
and I also want to try membership and Stand.fm 🌈

The excitement overflowing within me 🥰
I am truly happy to have found things that I can genuinely say are 'fun!' ✨

Please see here for the details on that process.

But... the rice field season is coming soon.

As spring approached,
my heart felt very restless.

I love the rice field, but
it is a world that requires both physical strength and mental energy.
With work increasing, can I actually do it...

Every time I think about it, it echoes,
and these words color me with their resonance.

Is it encouragement?
Or is it pressure?
Or is it just common sense?

...Hmm, I'm in trouble 😣

Work, raising children, hobbies, and dreams.
How does everyone manage it all?
What do you do when you have so many things you want to do?

I really don't know 😵

I'm quite lost in a labyrinth, Patako (lol)

The things I love and my limited time,
being in my late 40s,
and being a single mother.

I need to decide soon
how I want to spend my precious time and energy.

The season was just about to enter the rainy season.

It took an unexpected turn.

A LINE message I received from a friend one day.

I heard that Patako might not be farming the rice field this year. Would you like to use that field if you're interested?

I thought God was telling me, 'Make up your mind already!' as I was agonizing over it (laughs).
The timing was just too perfect! Haha.

I really have to give my final answer now, don't I? 🥺

If I try hard, I can do it.

So, there's nothing I can't do if I put my mind to it.

Hmm.

But wait a minute.

Doesn't the idea that 'if I try hard, I can do it'

lead to strain somewhere else??

For example, with my children,

I'll surely lose my patience and get all on edge.

The same goes for meals and housework.

I can already see myself relying on instant food because of a lack of time and exhaustion.

And I can see myself feeling guilty about that, too.

And then there's my body.

Can I keep pushing myself like I have until now?

Besides, I actually want to use that time for 'writing', don't I?

My body and my time.

Let's look at this from a sustainable perspective.

Instead of trying hard to do so much,

Let's dye our lives with the things we absolutely love!

Yeah,

Let's keep it simple.

That's what I thought.

In that moment, I felt the tension drain out of me with a soft hiss (lol).

Making choices,
it turns out, is actually quite a tense process ☺️

Saying 'hello' to a new phase

I really loved the rice fields.


So, honestly, I feel a bit sad, but
feeling relieved is also how I truly feel.

The focus for my energy has become clear, and
I am truly happy that I can dye my life with the new 'things I absolutely love!' 💖


I want the me in the future to look at the me now and say,
'You look like you're having fun, that's great! ♡'
I want to be that kind of person ✨

Of course, I will still work hard when I need to,
and I want to savor those moments when I can use that energy to the fullest.


I want to gradually get used to
this new way of living.

New phase, hello.

I'm so happy to have met you 🌈✨

Thank you for reading until the end.
✨

I am grateful for our connection.🌈

To all my dear readers who have welcomed me into your magazines,
thank you so much.

With gratitude.

This was Patako.

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