I am starting a "Roadmap to Returning to Work" membership!

Hello!
I am Atsuki, an office worker with depression.

I am now starting a membership on note called "Roadmap to Returning to Work."

The theme is "Working with illness" and "Living with illness."

• How to spend time while on leave
• Anxiety before and after returning to work
• How to work after returning
• Health management and preventing relapse
and more.

And, how to rebuild your life after becoming ill.

I want this to be a place where I can organize these things one by one, based on my own experiences and trial and error.

Here, I will summarize why I am starting this membership, what kind of content I will provide, and who I would like to read it.

Why I am starting this membership

I developed depression because I worked too hard.

After that, I experienced taking leave and returning to work many times. I had long periods of leave, and even after returning to work, things were not always smooth sailing.

Returning to work was not the end.Actually, it was even harder after I returned.

• How hard should I push myself?
• At what point is it too much?
• How do I adjust my work when I am not feeling well?
• How much should I tell those around me?
• How do I accept myself when I cannot work the same way I did before my illness?

There are many worries like these that you cannot understand until you are actually in that situation. And when you do worry, there is no "correct answer" prepared anywhere.

Of course, you need to consult your doctor for medical decisions. You need to check with your company, industrial physician, or HR department regarding company policies and work styles.

However, apart from that, there are the hesitations and conflicts of being the person actually going through it. I felt that more words were needed there.

I want to systematically summarize my experience of working for four years after returning to work.

Until now, I have been posting on note and X with the themes of "Working with depression" and "Living with depression." In a sense, those posts were "records of the moment."

Things I wrote while in the midst of struggling. Things I thought about while my health was fluctuating. Things I left behind like scribbles while I was lost about how to work after returning.

Those are important records for me, nonetheless.

On the other hand, with this membership, I would like to organize those things a bit more systematically.

Since returning to work in May 2022, I have continued to work as a company employee for four years as of June 2026. Of course, those four years have not always been smooth sailing.

There have been times when my health deteriorated. There have been times when I became too close to my work. There were periods when my sleep was disrupted and I felt I was in danger. I have also felt anxious, wondering, 'Will I be able to keep working like this?'

Even so, I have managed to keep working by picking myself back up time and time again. My greatest weapon is not some special talent or amazing track record.

The fact that I have continued to work for a long time since returning.

I believe it lies right here.

Things that I couldn't see when I was in the thick of it right after returning to work, I am now able to view from a distance and organize, precisely because four years have passed.

・What was dangerous?
・What became a source of support?
・Where was I prone to overdoing it?
・How can I make it easier to keep working while protecting my health?

I want to compile such experiences and insights as if they were a single book.

For me, the membership is a place to create a 'reference book for continuing to work after returning.'

I want to leave behind not just the neat correct answers, but also the process of being lost.

There is no single correct answer to working while living with an illness.

The progression of depression, bipolar disorder, and mental health issues varies from person to person. Workplace environments, family structures, the policies of attending physicians, and available systems also differ.

Therefore, I do not think you should just copy my experience exactly. However, someone's concrete experience can sometimes become material for thinking about your own situation.

'Oh, I wasn't the only one.'
'Is this way of thinking also an option?'
'Let's try discussing this at the next meeting.'
'Let's review my current way of working a little.'

In that way, it can become a trigger for organizing your own state of mind.

That is precisely why, in the membership, I will write not only about neatly summarized correct answers but also about my own inner conflicts and hesitations.

・Should I rest, or should I try a little harder?
・How much should I disclose?
・Is it okay to ask for accommodations?
・Am I just being soft on myself?
・Will I end up causing trouble again?

It is difficult to share these kinds of feelings with others.

But I feel that, in reality, it is within those very hesitations that something helpful for others who are struggling in the same way might be found.

I will also leave behind as much as possible the process of my own thinking while I was lost. I would be happy if that could become 'material for someone to think about their own situation'.

What I want to deliver through the membership

In the membership, I will mainly cover the following themes.

What I want to deliver is not a 'correct answer' that will definitely work if you do it this way. Instead, it is material for thinking about your own state.

・What is likely to happen after returning to work?
・Where are you likely to push yourself too hard?
・What signs should you look out for?
・How can you adjust your way of working?
・How do you deal with a version of yourself that cannot return to how you were before the illness?

I will write about these things as concretely as possible, based on my own experience.

I believe that returning to work is not about 'returning to the person you were before the illness,' but about rebuilding it into a form that you can sustain. In the membership, I want to organize the ways of thinking and tips for that, one by one.

About membership benefits

In the membership, you can read member-only articles.

I plan to add articles that are systematically organized around returning to work, health management, ways of working, and ways of living.

For example, recently I have been writing about reviewing health notes using AI, how to work after returning to work, how to switch off from work mode, and health monitoring.

Also, as a membership benefit, I have made it possible to use AI Atsuki @ Depressed Office Worker. AI Atsuki is an AI that helps you organize your worries and thoughts based on my past posts and values.

Of course, it does not provide medical judgments, but I hope you will use it as an aid to put your current worries into words when your mind is in a mess, to organize what you want to consult with your doctor or industrial physician, and to look at your own thoughts from a distance.

Going forward, I will continue to organize and leave behind the things I have actually worried about, tried, and changed my way of thinking about, one by one.

The update frequency is once a week.

Who I want to read this

This membership is created for people like the following:

・Those who are on leave and do not know how to spend their time from now on
・Those who are aiming to return to work but have significant anxiety
・Those who are afraid of losing their health again after returning to work
・Those who feel the difficulty of continuing health management while working
・Those who are confused by a version of themselves that cannot work the same way as before the illness
・Those who want to gradually rebuild their life after becoming ill

Reading this might not solve everything immediately. Even so, a single article can sometimes be a trigger to organize your thoughts.

I want to make this a place you can return to when things are tough or when you feel lost.

Please try it out for one month first.

The membership is not something you are required to join.

First, please read what I have shared so far.

See if the tone of my writing and my way of thinking resonate with you.
See if there is anything close to your current worries.
See if you feel like you want to read more of this person's words.

If you can check those things, that is enough.

After that, if you feel you would like to read more systematically, I would be happy if you would consider joining.

Currently, you can join the membership for free for the first month. Please take a look for one month first. If you feel it is not for you, there is no need to force yourself to continue.

I hope you will use it as much as you need, at the time you need it.

I want to nurture this place little by little.

"Guide to Returning to Work" is not a finished place. It is a place that I will nurture while increasing the number of articles little by little from now on.

I myself am still going through trial and error while working with my illness.

I will write about things that went well. I will write about things that did not go well. I will also record changes in my thinking as honestly as possible.

Life after becoming ill is not easy.

But, it is not the end just because you became ill.
It is not the end if you could not return to work.
It is not the end if you feel lost after returning to work.

How to work from there.
How to live.
How to rebuild your own life.

I want to make this a place that is useful, even if just a little, along that path.

If you like, please take a look at the "Guide to Returning to Work".

I would be happy if you could find words that suit you when you need them.