The Day the Black Lines on My Nails Increased

The "simple line" stopped disappearing. A test requiring the resolve to lose the base of my nail.

At first, there was just one thin line on my nail.

I didn't think much of it, just noticing my hands busy with childcare and thinking, "That mole is really growing..."

However, instead of disappearing, the line gradually became darker and the number of lines increased.

"You should really get this checked out properly once."

From those words of the doctor, my daily life changed completely.

[Core: The Reality of a Harsh Examination]

When you hear "nail examination," what do you imagine?

I thought it would just be a little scraping of the surface, but what I was told was beyond my imagination.

To determine if it is malignant, it is necessary to excise from the base of the nail down to the very edge of the bone to examine the tissue.

As a craftsperson, these fingertips have been precious to me since I was 18. It was the moment it was decided that I would "lose" a part of them at the examination stage.

[Conflict: The Option of a Graft]

Furthermore, to compensate for the excised part, the plan was to transplant skin from the sole of my foot or my thigh after a few days had passed following the excision.

Taking a part of my own body and moving it to another place.

Even though I understood in my head that it was "to cure the illness," I was afraid to look at my own hand in the mirror, and at night, an indescribable anxiety would wash over me.

[Conclusion: Determination]

"My fingertip might look different than before."

Fighting that fear, I made the resolve to head to the operating table. Since COVID had not yet subsided, only one person could accompany me, and I could not see my children until I was discharged.