Why you can act for others but stop when it comes to yourself

The idea of shifting what you have been directing outward back toward yourself
might be especially important for those who are adult children.

I think of this as
self-investment.

When we hear the term self-investment,
we tend to think it means

spending money on ourselves,

but there are times when we feel hesitant
about using money for our own sake.

Even if we think it is necessary,
we might hold back, thinking it might not be the right time.

This applies not only to money,
but also to time,

effort,

and passion as well.
In the same way,
when it comes to using these for ourselves,

we often find ourselves stopping.

And,
for some reason, when it comes to our own affairs,

things get put on the back burner.

Even though we know we should do them,
we cannot move,

or we cannot make time for ourselves.
Even if there is something we truly want,
we might pick it up once,

but then put it back, thinking it is fine as it is.

Even if there is something we want to try,
we might just look it up out of curiosity,

and then leave it at that.

What is strange is that
we are using our time,

and we are capable of working hard,

but that energy is not directed toward ourselves.
Adult children,

without realizing it,

become accustomed to directing their resources outward.

Adapting to others,
reading the room,

meeting expectations—
in the process,
money,

time,

effort,
and passion
have all been used up.
Money

is used for time spent with others,

or for things we deem necessary.

Time
is used to coordinate schedules,

or to listen to others.

Effort
is used to act while being considerate,

or to try to respond even when tired.

Passion
is used to try to do things properly,

to think about how to convey things to others,

and to choose our words carefully.
It is hard to notice,
but each time,

we are using a little bit of ourselves.

However,
that has always been

directed outward.

When you direct that toward yourself,
perhaps that

is what can be called self-investment.

Even when you are truly tired,
you act out of consideration,

or push yourself to respond.
By continuing to use your resources outward like that,
the amount you have for yourself

gradually decreases.

That is why,
even though you can act for others,

you stop when it comes to yourself.

You might feel like you lack motivation,
or you might blame yourself for not being able to keep going.

But that is not because
you are lacking something,

but perhaps because the direction of your energy

has just been pointed outward all this time.

When you start directing it toward yourself,
what you had previously stopped

becomes a little easier to move.

Things you wanted to do
but had stopped yourself from doing,

you will be able to
reach out for just a little bit.

It won't change everything at once,
but small movements

will gradually increase.

Engaging with others
while leaving room for yourself to feel secure

and space where you don't have to push yourself.

That
is also a way of keeping yourself from being depleted,
and that way of being

might remain as a way to live more easily.

I think of that,

too, as self-investment.

The feeling of stopping when it comes to yourself,
and the sense of not knowing what to use your resources on,
can also be sorted out one by one.🌿