The Study of Differences Between Those Who Have an 'Oshi' and Those Who Don't: The Detour Named 'Oshi': An Emotional Map for Those Who Cannot Be Fanatical [Column] The Science of Thought (No. 91)

🧠 Three things you can learn from this column

• An 'Oshi' is a 'relationship of watching over' that connects the self to others.
  — An 'Oshi' is not mere idol worship, but closer to the Japanese sense of 'Yaoyorozu no Kami' (eight million gods) or 'matsuri' (worship/festivals). To have an 'Oshi' is a form of indirect love where one watches from afar and rejoices in their changes together.

• Whether one can or cannot have an 'Oshi' is a difference in emotional structure, not a matter of superiority or inferiority.
  — Four factors are involved in the emergence of an 'Oshi': <projection>, <sensitivity>, <distance adjustment>, and <continuity>. Those who can have an 'Oshi' tend to entrust meaning to the outside, while those who cannot tend to complete their narratives internally.

• The culture of 'Oshi' is a 'prescription for loneliness' in modern society.
  — In an era where hearts are worn down by information overload, 'being passionate about someone' is a rare mental activity. Through an 'Oshi,' emotions move again, and people recover their self-affirmation.

Introduction | What is an 'Oshi'? ~Reconstructing the Definition~

— What I, who have no 'Oshi,' still wanted to know

'Oshi? I don't really have one.'

Every time I say that, I feel a somewhat apologetic atmosphere drift by.
It's as if I am being treated as someone who is 'missing something important' or 'losing out on life.'
However, to be honest, I myself have felt that sensation somewhere.

If I open social media, the timeline is colored with passionate words like 'precious,' 'I can't handle this,' and 'I can support them for a lifetime.'
They are not just fans. The word 'Oshi' seems to imply a much more dense relationship.
But why can't I have that?
People who can have an 'Oshi' and people who cannot. What exactly is the difference?

🔍 Why is 'Oshi' both 'personal' and 'social'?

'Oshi' is not just a preference or a hobby.
Isn't it about entrusting your emotions to someone (or something)? Expectations, ideals, wounds, hopes. It is a relationship of
'Oshi' where you entrust these things and 'watch over' them from afar.

When I thought about this structure, I felt that 'Oshi' is somewhat similar to the Japanese sensibility.
It is not 'worship' where you kneel before an absolute existence, but a relationship where you gently 'enshrine' something that is somewhat incomplete.
The Japanese sense of finding meaning in and being with imperfect existences, like 'Yaoyorozu no Kami' or 'yokai'.

'Oshi' might be an 'object of prayer' that is far away, while at the same time being something like a mirror that reflects the existence of
'me'.

🧩 Why can't I have an 'Oshi'?

In this column, I will consider the differences between those who can have an 'Oshi' and those who cannot, as a psychological, cultural, and even mathematical structure.

A factorization model of '$${Oshi = A × B × C × D}$$'.
A: The power to project ideals
B: The sensitivity to be moved by others
C: How to maintain an appropriate psychological distance
D: The will or energy to engage continuously

The hypothesis is that if any of these are missing, it becomes difficult for an 'Oshi' to emerge.

But that is not a 'defect'. Not having an 'Oshi' simply means having a different structure of the heart.
A different circuit, a different way of living. I want to give meaning to that.

✨ What this column aims to achieve

Furthermore, this is an attempt by 'me, who cannot have an Oshi' to re-understand myself through the phenomenon called
“Oshi”.

While learning the beauty of being able to be passionate about someone,
I also want to find the meaning in not being able to be passionate.

The reason why the word 'Oshi' has taken such deep root in this society.
Isn't it because we are lonely, yet wish to connect with someone?
As a form of that wish, 'Oshi' has appeared.

In the next chapter, I would like to examine the mental structure of people for whom an Oshi “naturally appears”.
How do the four factors of empathy, projection, sense of distance, and continuity function—
I will explore how an Oshi “sprouts”.

Chapter 1 | The Internal Structure of People Who 'Can Have' an Oshi

── Why is it that that person can 'support' so naturally?

“I found a new "Oshi"!”
The friend who says that always looks happy. It is as if another life has sprouted in their heart,
radiating an energy that inserts bright colors into the gaps of daily life.

I feel envious.
Even though I am looking at the same existence, the emotion of 'supporting' does not arise in me.
I just watch. I am impressed, but the feeling of my heart melting into them never arrives.

🧠 The '4 Factors' that create an Oshi

An Oshi sprouts when several psychological conditions are met.
I have assumed that this can be factorized into the following four factors.

• A: Projectability
  The power to superimpose ideals or desires onto 'someone'.
  Whether or not you can entrust the figure you couldn't become, or the figure you want to become, to your Oshi.

• B: Sensitivity
  The softness to be moved by the small changes in others.
  Connected to tearfulness and the strength of empathy.

• C: Ability to Adjust Distance
  The ability to maintain a comfortable distance—not too close, not too far.
  The sensibility to find even the fact that they are an 'untouchable person' endearing.

• D: Continuity
  The power to maintain affection or interest over the long term.
  The will to be able to 'keep supporting' like a daily routine or ritual.

The multiplication of these four factors determines the intensity of the 'Oshi experience' for that person.

$${f_{Oshi}＝A×B×C×D}$$

🌱 Characteristics of people who can have an Oshi

People who can naturally have an Oshi often have the following psychological characteristics.

1. Their heart is “open” to others
   They are not afraid of empathizing or being influenced.
   The moment they think 'this person is amazing,' that person has already begun to live inside their heart.

2. Able to love an “incomplete existence”
   An Oshi is not perfect. That is precisely why you want to support them.
   There is room there to project your own wishes.

3. Knowing that “you grow” by supporting them
   You are encouraged by the sight of your Oshi doing their best.
   The time and feelings you invest return to you as self-affirmation.

🔍 An Oshi is “another version of me”

An Oshi is “another version of yourself” placed in the outside world.
You entrust your own desires and unfinished stories to that person to act them out.
It is a mysterious relationship where “nurturing” and “being nurtured” happen at the same time.

That is why people who have an Oshi are strong.
While it seems like they are relying on someone, they are actually cultivating themselves.

I still do not understand that feeling.
However, by looking at it this way, I feel like the distance is closing little by little.
By knowing the structure that “people who can” possess,
perhaps “I, who cannot,” might also find a clue somewhere.

In the next chapter, I would like to look at the inner landscape of that “side that cannot have an Oshi.”
What kind of mental structure is there in not having an Oshi?

Chapter 2 | Psychological Tendencies of People Who “Cannot” Have an Oshi

── The reason why my heart does not move even though I want to support someone

Was “falling in love” ever that simple?

Even if I think I want to “support” someone, my feet stop somewhere.
Even though I understand that person's efforts and charm, my heart does not light a fire.
Before I think “I want to support them,” I am asked from within myself, “Can you really feel that much?”

🧩 The “Zeroing” of the Four Factors of Oshi

The “Four Factors of Oshi” presented in Chapter 1 were as follows.

• A: Projectability

• B: Sensitivity

• C: Ability to Adjust Distance

• D: Continuity

When any of these approaches “zero,” an “Oshi” becomes difficult to establish.

For example──

• Weak A → Cautious about "entrusting one's own desires to others."
  Ideals are ideals, and I am me. A stance of not wanting to mix the two.

• Weak B → Analysis takes precedence over empathy.
  Tends to choose "understanding" or "observation" over "being moved."

• Weak C → Cannot find meaning in "people one cannot meet."
  The heart is not moved without real-life contact or relationships.

• Weak D → Easily heated, easily cooled.
  Even if there is a "momentary heat," "continuous Oshi-katsu" is exhausting.

🧠 The 'Defense Line' Only I Have

I think people who cannot have an Oshi are not "insensitive," but "cautious."
They are, somewhere, wary of letting their hearts be moved.

• Having had the experience of being hurt

• Having regretted being too obsessed

• Being afraid of expecting things from others

• Feeling guilty about projecting

These are all defense lines created by the "past."
To love someone strongly is, in a sense, to become defenseless.
When you cannot allow yourself that, an Oshi is not born.

🌊 A Way of Life as a Cool Observer

Am I missing something because I don't have an Oshi?

Perhaps that is not the case.
People who cannot have an Oshi often look at themselves calmly rather than being swept away by emotions.
Because they cannot assert "I love this person," they carefully measure their distance from the world.

That is not a weakness, buta form of intelligence it is.
It is the strength to try to stand on one's own precisely because one cannot fully believe.

Maybe it would be more fun if I could live like "people who can have an Oshi."
But I am waiting for the day when I can entrust my heart to someone or something, at my own speed and in my own way.

In the next chapter, I would like to look at where these "differences" come from—
from the perspectives of childhood, culture, and social experience.

Chapter 3 | What are the conditions for an Oshi to be born?

── The 'moment' when the heart harbors someone

Where does the difference between 'those who can support an Oshi' and 'those who cannot' come from?

Is it a difference in personality? Sensitivity? Or perhaps luck?

I myself have kept asking, 'Why can't I have an Oshi?'
But I feel it's not simply a matter of effort or feelings.
Rather, I've come to think that it might be related to something deeper, like 'how one was raised' or the 'rhythm of one's culture'.

🧸 The Perspective of Attachment Theory: The Source of the Power to 'Love' Someone

In psychology, there is a concept called 'Attachment Theory'.
How much were you able to rely on 'someone' with peace of mind when you were young?
Was there someone there to support you when you felt anxious?

This experience builds the foundation for emotions such as:
・Trust in others
・The ability to entrust one's emotions to someone
・The sense of security in expressing one's feelings

It is said that those who did not form sufficient attachments in childhood tend to find it difficult to 'entrust their feelings to others' in the first place.

An Oshi is, in a sense, a 'leaning post for the heart'.
Therefore, for those who feel anxiety or guilt about leaning on someone, the activity of 'Oshi-katsu' is difficult to establish to begin with.

🔁 Social Experience Changes How We Open Our Hearts

It's not that those who have an Oshi have always been that way.
Some have experienced betrayal, been hurt by things they believed in, or simply never had the chance to encounter something that moved them.

'Being unable to be fanatical' is different from 'not being fanatical'.
If the timing or environment had been different, I might have had an Oshi too.

🎎 The 'Ease of Having an Oshi' Created by Culture

There is also the concept of 'Cultural Capital'.

For example—

• Do your family and those around you affirm 'being obsessed with what you love'?

• Can you feel that using money and time for Oshi-katsu is 'nothing to be ashamed of'?

• Is it natural for you to put your 'likes' into words and share them?

These backgrounds influence the 'hurdles' of having an Oshi.

Whether society and culture affirm 'fanaticism'—that changes how we open our hearts.

💡 An 'Oshi' is a social contract of hope

I have recently come to think this way.

To think that you 'like' someone is to entrust your emotions to another person.
It is also a kind of gamble that includes the possibility of being betrayed.

But unlike real-life human relationships, you can engage with an 'oshi' from a step back.
It might be a place to relearn the feeling of 'believing' from a 'safe distance'.

I think people who can have an 'oshi' possess a 'circuit to reconnect with society'.

For me, that circuit is not yet fully formed.
But the feeling of wanting to believe in someone is certainly there.

In the next chapter, I will examine how this emotional structure of 'oshi'
relates to the cultural background of Japanese society.
I feel that there is a 'sensibility of watching over' unique to the Japanese people.

Chapter 4 | 'Oshi' is both a ritual and a watching over

── A form of love that maintains distance, not worship

The reason I felt uncomfortable with the word 'oshi' was that
I sensed something religious in its fanatical aspect.
I felt bewildered by the projection of emotions, as if worshiping a god.

However, I realized something at one point.
Perhaps the 'worship' I was thinking of is different from an actual 'oshi'.

🗿 The culture of worship and the culture of ritual

In Western society and monotheistic cultures,
God is worshiped as 'the only one,' 'absolute,' and a 'transcendent being.'
The object is complete, perfect, and something to bow down to with reverence.

On the other hand, what about in Japan?

Rather than 'believing' in gods, we 'enshrine' and 'watch over' them.
What is enshrined in a shrine is not necessarily always a great existence.
Gods of mountains, rivers, fire, nameless spirits—
sometimes they play tricks on people and get angry.
They have been treated as 'incomplete, familiar, and beings that exist alongside us'.

Isn't an 'oshi' the same?

🧸 There is meaning in an 'oshi' being incomplete

The objects we 'support' are always somewhat incomplete.
An idol who has just debuted, a creator who is about to grow,
or an anime character in the middle of their story.

'Because they are not yet complete, you want to support them'.
The sensibility of ritual and watching over overlaps there.
'The process of an oshi growing' is perhaps where we find joy.

This is different from Western hero worship or the Korean 'bias culture'.
In Japan, there is meaning in witnessing the 'future' together rather than something already completed.
“future” together.

🔔 The distance of watching over: Affection without interference

Also, Japanese people value 'distance' very much.
Not stepping too far into others' lives, but not being indifferent either.
We have expressed that delicate position in the form of 'watching over'.

For example—
・A Shinto altar is placed in a high position in the house
・We put our hands together in prayer, but don't talk to them too much
・Jizo statues and roadside deities are beings we gently clean for

Oshi-katsu (fan activities) are similar.
It's okay if you can't meet them directly.
Gently displaying merchandise and quietly watching their social media.
It is a relationship where the heart is fulfilled just by that.

🎎 Surrounded by eight million 'likes'

In Japan, there are many things to 'like'.
Just as there are eight million gods,
it is fine for our 'likes' to exist in countless numbers.

If someone says, 'I'm supporting this person,' it is naturally accepted with, 'Oh, that's nice.'

“Oshi” is not a forced empathy, but something like a “diverse faith”that has taken root in the culture.

An 'Oshi' is not about being fanatical about a single target.
Rather, it is an act of gently letting“a quiet connection between myself and that existence”dwell in daily life.

The reason I haven't been able to 'support' anyone yet might just be that the sprout of that connection hasn't budded yet.

Summary | Even without an Oshi, I am me

── There are as many ways of living as there are people

I, who am writing this text,
have never had an 'Oshi' yet.

I can feel a calm affection like that for family,
but strongly liking someone,
or wanting to do something for that person,
has felt somewhat distant.

But now, I can finally put it into words.

A life with an Oshi and a life without an Oshi are both the same in that they are about 'living while cherishing something'.

💠 'Oshi' is a ritual that connects the self to the world

'Oshi-katsu' is not just a hobby.
It was an act of reflecting and organizing the missing parts within oneself,
or feelings that couldn't be put into words well,
in the 'mirror' of another person.

That is precisely why these three things were necessary there:affection, distance, and time.

• Affection: Believing in and supporting an existence that is still incomplete

• Distance: Watching over gently without overstepping

• Time: Witnessing changes and continuing on

It was like creating a small household shrine in my heart and gently pressing my hands together in prayer there.
It was an act like that.

🎭 The difference between those who have an 'Oshi' and those who don't

Looking back, those who 'can' have an Oshi had the power of projection onto others, empathy, and a little bit of
“margin”.On the other hand, those who 'cannot' have an Oshi possess a self-contained strength, caution toward others, and deep insight.

In other words, both are different forms of richness.

The fact that you 'cannot support' someone might just mean that instead of riding on someone else's story,

you are trying to complete your own story by yourself.

🧩 An 'Oshi' is a 'fantasy,' but not a 'fiction'

An 'Oshi' is not 'reality.'
However, nurturing and giving meaning to that in your heart is a
“constructive fantasy” to live reality better.

Above all, those who can have an “Oshi” look radiant.

Through someone else's existence,
“you become able to like yourself a little more.”
In that way, an 'Oshi' also becomes a device for self-affirmation.

🌸 And, I too might become someone's 'Oshi'

I, who kept saying 'I don't have an Oshi,' might someday
become an existence that is gently watched over by someone else.
Someday, I might become someone's 'Oshi'.

When I think of it that way, the scenery of life looks a little different.

If you, who have read this column this far,
thought, 'An Oshi is a bit mysterious and interesting,'
then I feel that alone made writing this column meaningful.

And if you, who still haven't been able to support anyone,
were able to spend even a little time thinking, 'Even so, it's okay for me to be me,'
then that also means the thoughts of this column have properly reached you.

💬 What kind of existence is an “Oshi” to you?
🪶 Please let me hear your voice through comments, likes, and follows.

📘 This column was written through a dialogue with ChatGPT.
It is also part of an experiment: 'Can dialogue with AI become a mirror for deepening thought?'

Profile | Kazuomi Matsunaga

🧭Thinking Navigator

Biography:Graduated from Kyushu University, Faculty of Engineering (Materials Engineering) -> Engineer at a metal materials manufacturer in the Chukyo region (Production Engineering) -> Advertising sales for a local free paper in Nagasaki Prefecture -> Educational institution staff (<- currently here). Living in Nagasaki Prefecture, in my 50s. Both of my children have left home for university, and I am living with my wife.
I am a writer who lets my thoughts play daily at the intersection of 'questions' and 'curiosity.' Recently, I have been writing about my unique perspectives on themes such as education, stories, psychology, AI, and design, centered on the serial column series 'The Science of Thought.' I am exploring 'free knowledge design' that goes beyond existing frameworks. My motto is 'Imagination opens up the world.'
In my professional life, while working in university and education-related fields, I value carefully observing the moments when 'people start to like something' and the scenes where 'questions sprout.'
🧭 I would be happy if I could deliver articles that leave you with a 'new perspective' after reading them.
📮 Impressions and messages of support are always welcome!