Thank you for waving at me

Ayano Kawamura has graduated from ANGERME and retired from being an idol and from the entertainment industry. I still feel dazed, yet somehow convinced by such a perfect curtain call, but my heart is still a mess.
I suppose I could tidy up my feelings if I just wait for time to pass, but I decided to write this down before everything I'm feeling right now fades away. This is just a monologue. Please read it loosely.

⭐My impression of Ayano Kawamura⭐

My first time at the Budokan was for ANGERME's "PERFECTION" in 2022.
I got off at Kudanshita, followed the flow of people, and when I saw the big onion, I was moved, thinking, "This is the Budokan..."
"PERFECTION" was set up with a center stage and 360-degree seating. I was in the northwest stand, and I was nervous, thinking, "I'll be watching from diagonally behind, but it's so close!!"
However, once the live show started, ANGERME performed with each song facing the north, south, east, and west sides directly. Even though it was my first ANGERME Budokan show, I could tell how special and difficult this was. I was able to enjoy ANGERME's performance from every angle, and for someone like me who just "wants to see," it was a completely satisfying concert. It remains one of my favorite live shows even now.

I'm the type who wants to watch the performance, so I don't really expect fan service. So, even at that time, while I was waving my penlight in excitement at the members coming out to the flower paths extending from the center stage to each direction, I was watching them wave back at the audience with smiles.
I forgot which song it was. It was when the members were split up on their respective flower paths and the center, appealing to the audience.Ayano Kawamura was clearly looking this way and waving.I won't say she was looking only at me, but she was waving toward my area, stretching her long limbs as far as she could, with a smile that seemed to say, "I see you! Can you see me too?"
With a style like a doll or an anime character, she leaned forward to look even bigger,with a sparkling smile that made it feel like she was sending a thought of "You!!" directly at me.
My visual image of Ayano Kawamura became that "figure stretching out and waving" from that day.

⭐KIRAKIRA⭐

"ANGERME 10th ANNIVERSARY TOUR 2024 AUTUMN 'ROOTS' Ayano Kawamura FINAL ☆KIRAKIRA☆", the final show of the autumn tour, two years after "PERFECTION".
My seat was in a position where I could see the main stage almost from the front and the center stage from diagonally in front, and I arrived with plenty of time to spare. That's because things had been hectic, and I had come to the Budokan without any mental preparation or organization.
Today is the last day, and Kamu-chan will retire from being an idol and from the entertainment industry.There is no "next." I wanted to watch over her and accept it for as long as possible, even if just for one more second.

I'll omit the details of the setlist and such this time.
It was a setlist with surprises from the very beginning, one that made you feel the ROOTS of ANGERME, and one that said, "This is the only way to show the current ANGERME!!"
If Kamu-chan's intentions were heavily incorporated into this, it's all the more regrettable."What kind of thing are you showing us at the very end!!"I shouted in my heart many times. I want to keep seeing you!!! I want to see you more and more!!

The live show, packed with everything Kamu-chan wanted to do, saw both Kamu-chan and ANGERME shining and burning bright. No, I think Kamu-chan was dazzlingly sparkling, while the other members were burning intensely.Let's make Kamu-chan's last live show, her final moment as an idol, and the eternal idol Ayano Kawamura shine as brightly as possible; to do that, I must give it my all too!!That feeling came across in their singing voices, expressions, and dancing.

There's no way my heart wouldn't be moved by such a life-burning performance in the first block.
Even if the members change, ANGERME is ANGERME. The current ANGERME is always the best.
The truth I've witnessed many times before was right in front of me as a new truth.

"Ai no Tame Kyou Made Shinka Shite Kita Ningen Ai no Tame Subete Taika Shite Kita Ningen", "Ai no Kedamono", "Tsugitsugi Zokuzoku".
Because the member composition is different from when they were released, I got chills from the performance that layered new colors and breath onto the originals.
Especiallythe spirit of "Tsugitsugi Zokuzoku".
When I saw it at CDJ last year, I felt that "Tsugitsugi Zokuzoku had evolved," but this went even further. It might have been a big bang of the power of everyone thinking of Kamu-chan and the consciousness of delivering the best of the current ANGERME.

It was just amazing. In the brief interval before the MC, I couldn't help but say to the follower next to me, "I'm already crying," and "Tsugitsugi Zokuzoku was amazing..." So this wasn't just me; it definitely reached at least two people. I was moved by being able to confirm that as well.

⭐I love her singing voice⭐

When my favorite, Akari Takeuchi, was in ANGERME, I dedicated almost all my visual attention during live shows to her. When I had my sight and consciousness locked onto Takeuchi like that, it was Kamu-chan's singing voice that would steal my hearing, saying, "Oh, what a nice voice!"

Her vocal evolution since she earned her 1st-grade tuna dismantling certification was remarkable, and it was fun to listen to her cute voice being polished into a thick and powerful expression.
Because of that, I think her own temperament, which sometimes seemed wild or deep-seated, was carried in her singing voice, making her expression even deeper.
The woman's karma in "Ai・Mashou," the emotion in "Oyogenai Mermaid," and the instinctive wildness in "Ai no Kedamono" were unique to Kamu-chan. I loved them very, very much.

⭐The eternal idol⭐

I wonder what she will sing for her solo.
I didn't expect it at all, and I was calling out "A-ya-no!" during the encore. The dress she appeared in was dreamily cute and sparkling, and I was a mess, with a heart moved by the beautiful sight and the sadness that she would become eternal in just a moment, knowing she would pursue and perfect everything to the very end.
It was a mini skirt like a flower with overlapping fluff, sparkling bijou that looked like jewels and stardust were scattered, and a dress that I knew was made only for Ayano Kawamura, perfect for Kamu-chan and the idol she aspired to be.
Look at this. The full-body balance is perfect...

I love how you open your palm wide when you wave, making your long fingers arch back.

I love this photo too. You're definitely looking at me here. (No, you're not.)
You wave like this, saying, "You!!"

The photos above are from the Instagram below. (I've also used them in the header.)
Every photo is wonderful, so make sure to check them out. And don't forget to leave a ♡.

The solo song was "The 15 Years I Dreamed Of."
The opening vocals were so cute that I started listening thinking, 'Ah, she's such an idol...', but it was incredible. Every lyric she sang pierced my heart. The context built up and layered on. I was watching the moment new meaning was added to the song, and a new story was born. It was Kamu-chan's song.
"I have to go now, it's time."
She covered the sadness with glitter, singing while waving with a smile. I couldn't say, "Don't go." Because I couldn't bring myself to say selfish words like "Please stay a little longer" to someone who was showing me such a perfect figure until the very end, someone who was trying to close this chapter so beautifully.
It had been carefully prepared. The various words and actions Kamu-chan had scattered leading up to her graduation left me with no room to argue. Ayano Kawamura's story as an idol would be ended by Ayano Kawamura herself. I could only accept and watch over the radiance she emitted and the time she lived as an idol, and return my goodbyes and thank yous.
I cried. I just kept crying. It was beautiful and lonely.

Words of greeting, without a letter.
The entire Budokan held its breath, focused on Kamu-chan, waiting for her words. The trust Kamu-chan had built with fans other than her own supporters turned into deep respect, and we all watched over the finale she had prepared. Yes, Ayano Kawamura was an idol trusted by every single fan.

⭐Thank you for waving at me⭐

She appeared on stage again for a double encore. I burned into my memory the sight of her walking from corner to corner, waving. She looked out at the audience as if cherishing them, leaning down, looking up, and waving.

When she stood in the center of the stage, the whole venue sensed it and fell silent.
She put her hand to her mouth and said, without the microphone, in her natural voice, "Bye-bye!!!"
Just as I started to feel melancholy, thinking, 'So that's a bye-bye...', smoke surrounded her. I realized it in an instant. Right here, right now, she was becoming eternal.
Kamu-chan vanished into the glittering sparkles. The stage, now empty, brightened as the house lights came on. How merciless. Idol Ayano Kawamura had become a Permanent Girl.

To Ayano Kawamura,
You were a truly wonderful idol. Thank you for all the memories.
Your track record proves that you are someone who can reach and create what you aim for through effort and sincerity. Please continue to charge forward toward what you want to do.
May the path you walk from here on be filled with brilliance.
Every time I touch upon the various things you have etched into our hearts, I will think of you and pray for your happiness.

Thank you for your warm love and kindness. Thank you for waving at me. Thank you so, so much for waving at me.