Are you still holding onto emotional wounds related to money? | Lessons from 'Happy Money'

What does money mean to you?

Also, what kind of emotions arise when you think about money?

Does it make you excited? Or anxious?

Some people might even want to stop thinking about it altogether, saying, 'I've had enough!'

Or perhaps I might hear some say, 'I'm not interested.'

Depending on the person, images and emotions regarding money vary greatly.

Facing money is facing your own life seriously

In Japan, talking about money has often been seen as a taboo, but money is something necessary for us to live, and it is an important thing that is deeply involved in our lives.

I believe that by facing money properly, it leads to seriously facing what you truly want to do, what you want, and your way of life itself.

What is money?

What kind of emotions arise when you think about money?

For me, money is first and foremost something that gives me 'peace of mind,' and it is a very important thing that makes me, my family, and those around me happy, supports my dreams, and helps me when I am in trouble.

I love money, so thinking about money is a very happy time, and money brings me a lot of excitement.

For me, money might be like an 'oshi' (favorite) idol (lol).

In other words...

I love money so much that I can think about it for hours every day without getting bored ♡

What kind of impression do you have of me for saying this?

That, too, is surely different for everyone ♪

The other day, Noriko Tonomura wrote about facing her 'little self'.

I want cute pencils and erasers like everyone else has.

But I couldn't say, 'Please buy them for me'.

Not being able to have the same things as everyone else is a life-or-death issue for a child. My mother didn't understand that. 'As long as you can write with it, that's fine, right?' she would say dismissively. Is it really just about being able to write?

I went beyond feeling envious and had no choice but to give up. It wasn't that we couldn't afford them financially. My mother could spend money like water for the sake of her own righteousness, which she validated, but she was a person who wouldn't spend money on her daughter's feelings.
There was a little me who felt terribly depressed, wondering if I wasn't even worth 300 yen.

Inside me, too, there is a 'little me' just like Noriko's.

Reading this, the 'little me' whom I thought I had already sufficiently liberated suddenly made my adult self shed big tears.

So you were still there. I'm sure you'll always be there.

There, there. (pat, pat)

Facing the emotional wounds related to money was, for me, also a way of healing my 'little me'.

For me, up until ten years ago, money was a symbol of freedom.

If I didn't have money, I couldn't be free.

Even when money finally came in, it would just flow right back out again.

This isn't enough yet, more, more...

When I faced money, my heart was always filled with anxiety.

Even so, I couldn't give up on obtaining 'freedom,' and I continued to learn 'practical knowledge for saving and increasing money (money IQ)' for a long time.

What I am truly seeking is not 'money,' but a 'happy life'.

While a certain amount of money is necessary to achieve a 'happy life,' the amount required for that is surely different for everyone.

There are people who are happy even without much money, and there are people who are unhappy even with a lot of money.

If I don't have money, I can't be free.
If only I had money...

I had always prioritized my financial IQ, but what I was lacking was my financial EQ (the intelligence to deal with the emotional side of money).

What is important is to raise both your financial IQ and financial EQ simultaneously, and to enter the flow of 'Happy Money' yourself.

Ken Honda's book 'Happy Money' is very healing for those who have 'emotional wounds related to money,' and it is a book that serves as a catalyst for facing money directly.

This is the only book that made me cry uncontrollably the first time I read it, to the point where I couldn't finish reading it in a cafe.

I was inspired by Noriko-san's article to read it again, but once more, tears welled up every time I turned a page.

The content written in the book links too strongly with my own past memories.

As a child, I was always comparing myself to my friends around me, and I lived with a strong sense of lack.

My clothes were always hand-me-downs from friends.

For my elementary school graduation ceremony, I had a 9,800 yen outfit bought for me for the first time.

It was a cute outfit that a girl mannequin was wearing in the store, with a large black collar and a musical note pattern.

'This one! This one! I'll take this one!'

I was so incredibly happy, but one day, a friend in the same class wore the exact same outfit as her everyday clothes.

I remember feeling so embarrassed to wear that outfit to my graduation ceremony that I went home, threw the clothes away, and cried my eyes out.

Two years ago, at my daughter's art exhibition, my 'inner child' had a major reaction for the first time in a while.

At the elementary school my children attend, they are sometimes asked to bring their own decorations for art class.

Since we are always told on short notice, I always keep some random decorations ready, and one day my daughter took the bag of prepared decorations, saying, 'I'm taking these for art class!' as usual.

I had no idea they were going to be used for an art exhibition.

When I went to the exhibition later, the hats the children had made were on display.

There were many magnificent hats lined up, decorated with large pom-poms, colorful ribbons, and sparkly ornaments.

Among them, the hat my daughter made looked very poor, using only the colored construction paper provided by the school and the few decorations I had kept on hand at home.

'Everyone else has cute things, and once again, I'm the only one who doesn't.'

My heart was deeply shaken, and I was so filled with regret for not having prepared proper decorations for my daughter that I couldn't even bring myself to look at her work properly at that moment.

When I apologized to my daughter about it, she said, 'Huh? Why? My hat... I think it turned out super cute! ♡'

Didn't she notice anything when she saw that everyone else had brought cute decorations?

Why didn't she say she wanted some too?

'Huh? Well, I didn't even notice! ♡'

My daughter, who loves crafts, was so focused on making her own hat and was having so much fun that she didn't care at all about the decorations the other children had.

And even after seeing everyone's finished work, she didn't care about the gorgeous decorations; she was very confident in the hat she had made by being creative with the materials provided in front of her.

Hearing my daughter's words, I felt very ashamed of myself for comparing her work to the others and arbitrarily deciding which was better or worse.

At that time, I thought I had already graduated from the habit of comparing myself to others.

There are many things that everyone else has that I do not, but everything I truly need is already 'there'.

However, because the subject was my daughter (my child), my inner child recalled an emotional wound and I burst into tears.

But my daughter was completely different.

Even in the same situation, it is your own heart that determines your happiness.

I think I am a very shameful mother for comparing my child's work to others' and feeling it was 'meager'.

But when you are carrying emotional wounds, there are times when you can only think that way.

There is no need to blame yourself for that.

What is important is to first notice those feelings and think, 'How do I want to move forward from here?'

💛

There are two types of money: 'happy money' and 'unhappy money'.

If negative emotions are attached when you receive or pay money, that money becomes 'unhappy money'.

If you can hold a feeling of gratitude and say 'thank you' both when receiving money and when it goes out, you can automatically ride the flow of 'happy money'.

It is said that you cannot feel gratitude and anxiety at the same time.

That is why whenever I spend money, I always send it off with a 'thank you'.

When paying utility bills, say, 'Thank you for lighting up my home again today. Thank you for keeping my room at a comfortable temperature.'

When paying taxes, say, 'It makes me so happy to sit on a park bench and read books I borrowed from the library. Thank you for letting my child attend elementary school.'

Whenever we pay money, we are always receiving something in exchange.

If we can focus firmly on what we are receiving rather than the money leaving us, a feeling of gratitude will be born there.

I want to continue living a peaceful and enjoyable life together with the money I love.

(Illustration provided by 💛koharu)

To stay on good terms with money, I always say 'thank you' to the money in my wallet so that it can stay smiling.

When you are a child, you cannot change your environment through your own power.

Therefore, in the place you were given, you desperately create mental blocks that don't suit your true self in order to somehow maintain yourself and survive.

The beliefs formed in childhood that do not suit you remain in your subconscious even after you become an adult, keeping you away from happiness.

However, they are by no means intruders; they are things that have protected you up until now.

Beliefs that are far from the true self you wish to be should be released with gratitude by saying, 'Thank you for protecting me until now.'

By doing so, my life and the way I face money have changed completely.

When people realize what kind of wounds they carry, why they came to carry those wounds, and how those wounds affect their daily lives, they become able to make healthy judgments about what to prioritize in life.
If you can heal your wounds related to money, your financial situation will certainly improve.

(Omitted)

Because your thoughts about money are reflected in your money—and by extension, your life.

Quoted from 'Happy Money'

As I am now, there are still many things I want to obtain from here on out.

But there are no feelings of scarcity, stress, impatience, or anxiety there.

This is because I feel that I have already obtained the truly important things that are indispensable to me.

And that is because I have come to believe, I have the power to obtain what I want!

If I don't have money, I can't be free
If only I had money...

These are the beliefs I created when I was a child to 'protect myself'.

It is not that you cannot be free without money, but rather that having money expands the freedom of various choices in your life.

To increase the degree of freedom in my life and my family's lives, I intend to continue making efforts to raise my money IQ and money EQ.

Above all, I love money so much that I even call it 'Money-chan,' so it is a very natural progression that I would want to gather a lot of Money-chan♡

Thank you very much for reading until the end.

(Wool felt work provided by 💛Kyo-san)

Real Frog Miiko Part 2!

The person who made the wool felt Frog Miiko is Kyo-san.

Kyo-san is a wonderful person who, despite dealing with many illnesses, is always bright and cheerful, and loves housework, which is the complete opposite of me.

Upon my request, she even made a 'Stock' cushion and Christmas ornaments to go with it 💛

Kaeru Miiko's wallet is packed with lots of money! 😍

I am always happy.

Thank you so much, Kyo-chan!