A story about when I invited my crush over

*This is slightly for adults.

That was back when I was a college student.

I moved away from my hometown to attend university and lived alone.

I was really enjoying my youth.

In the midst of that, I fell in love with
a boy at the same university.

He was friendly and kind to everyone,
but he also had a somewhat mysterious side,
and I kept thinking I wanted to be the one to support him.

At first, we only saw each other on campus occasionally,
but once we realized we had a lot in common, the frequency of our meetings increased,

and gradually we started going shopping together
and going to see movies,

and just when we had become as close as possible
within the relationship of being "friends"...

Finally, he agreed to come over
to my apartment.

I am quite a lazy person,
so I hadn't cleaned my room at all.

So, I cleaned my room
like my life depended on it.

Not just the living room,
because I didn't want him to think
it smelled like garbage under any circumstances,

I even poured bleach
down the kitchen drain,
and cleaned it thoroughly
right up until the very last minute before he arrived.

And so, I managed to finish just in time for our appointment,
and I was able to successfully invite him into my room.

And then, when we were left alone together,
we didn't do anything... suggestive.

We didn't do that.

We chatted, played games,
hung out like normal friends,
and parted ways like normal.

But, because they came over to my room,
and we spent such a fun time together,
I felt more of a spark than ever before.

A few days later, I gathered my courage and confessed my feelings to him, but

his answer was NO.

He said,
"There were times I thought you were great, but I can't see you that way anymore."

That's what he said.

It was the most shocking rejection I've ever experienced.

After that, things became awkward between us and we drifted apart,
and we never saw each other again.

Time passed.
I graduated from university,
met my husband at my job, and got married.

After getting married, I moved into the apartment my husband had been living in,
and our life as a couple began.

One day,
feeling like the kitchen sink was clogged,
I started cleaning it using Haiter bleach.

As the distinct smell of the bleach filled the room,
something suddenly crossed my mind.

Yes.
Semen.

"You know, the smell of Haiter,
　if you diluted it, it would probably smell like semen."

The moment I thought that,
it felt like a bolt of lightning struck my head.

That guy I liked back in my student days.

On the day I hung out with him in my room,
I had been cleaning with Haiter too.

No way...

I timidly took out my smartphone and searched for
"Haiter semen"
.

What appeared was

"Haiter and semen smell exactly the same~"
a blog post.

I collapsed to my knees.

Does that mean...?

Does that mean I invited the person I like
to a house that smells like semen???

When they said, "I can't see you that way anymore,"
could that be what they meant...???

...

Let me explain myself!!!!!

No, it's not like I want anything to happen
with him at this point.

But you know,
back then I was an innocent maiden
who didn't even know the smell of semen.

And yet, if he thought I was a "slut who sleeps around"
for inviting another man
into a room that still smelled like sex with a man,
I would be mortified to death.

But even if I was actually dumped
because of the smell of semen,

if I wanted to explain that away,
I would have to clear
so many high hurdles.

1. Get in touch with someone I haven't spoken to since they dumped me.
2. Dig up the past and ask why they dumped me.
3. Get them to admit the truth that my room smelled like semen...

...

Impossible.

And so, I tearfully accepted
carrying the title of
"the slut with the semen-smelling room"for the rest of my life.

Well then.
The reason why I went out of my way to publish such a dark, embarrassing history
in a format that would remain in a ZINE
is because,

I thought that young maidens all across the country
should not have to suffer the same wounds as I did.
That is why.

Young ladies,
walk over my dead body.

And if there's any chance, I hope this reaches him from back then!

There was no such thing as semen

in my room!!!

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