Can siblings really be this different? The question of when personality is determined

My daughters have completely opposite personalities.

The older one is a cautious, sensitive, and intellectual type.
She takes her time with new things, observing carefully before she makes a move.

On the other hand, the younger one is a mischievous, bold, and action-oriented type.
She just tries things out. She's the type who falls down, doesn't cry, and keeps going.

Even though they were born to the same parents and raised in the same house,
I am constantly surprised by how different they are.


◾️They were different from the moment they were born

Looking back, the differences were there even when they were newborns.

Even in the way they drank their milk,

the older one was the type to drink slowly and cautiously.
She would take breaks and was sensitive to even the slightest changes.

The younger one, however, drank with great vigor.
She wasn't fazed by much of anything.

I think that even before
how they were raised,they already had their own


individual nature.



◾️When is personality determined?

Working as a nurse, I often think about this.
When is personality actually determined?

Psychologically speaking, it is said that we have an innate "temperament" as a base,

and then our "personality" is shaped by layering environment and experience on top of that.In other words, the image is
innate individuality (temperament) + upbringing environment

→ becomes personality




.

So, perhaps it is only natural for siblings to be different.

◾️You don't have to raise them the same way

I used to think, "I have to raise them the same way."
But now, I've come to think:

This approach works for this child,

and this other approach is necessary for that child.
For the cautious child, provide time to feel secure.For the action-oriented child, provide an environment where they can take on challenges.


Valuing each of their paces


has made things much easier for both parent and child.

◾️It's interesting precisely because they are different

Honestly, there are times when it's tough.
Sometimes I'm required to respond in opposite ways at the same time,

and on days when I don't have much energy, it's exhausting.

But,
it's interesting precisely because they aren't the same,and it's fun to watch how each of them grows.




◾️Summary
While it's not clear "when" personality is determined,at the very least,they have their own "individual nature" from the moment they are born

.And rather than trying to "change" them through how we raise them,
it works better to "leverage" their natural qualities.


Because siblings are so different,raising children is both difficult and interesting.