#35 Is Devoted Love Really Love?

Good evening, this is momi.

Views on love vary from person to person, don't they? Some people prioritize love as the number one thing in their lifestyle, while others don't place much weight on it. Some people want to be chased, while others want to do the chasing. For some reason, I've often been the person people come to for relationship advice, and today I'd like to write about something I found very interesting.

What is devoted love?

By the way, I am not a person who can be devoted. lol
Even when I'm in a relationship, my own time is important. I want to protect my own territory, and I hate being restricted. boom
That's exactly why I want my partner to value their own time as well, so I was the type who found it quite tough when our communication frequencies didn't match. Many of the girls around me were the devoted type; some couldn't stand being without their boyfriend and wanted to be in constant contact.
Among them, the devoted types were truly worthy of respect (because I can't do it, lol), but there were many times I found it strange while watching them. I'd think, is that really the love you're thinking of?

Is there any need to wear yourself out in a relationship that is supposed to be fun?

I've seen many friends who started out looking happy but gradually became miserable. When I was younger, I thought love was something to be enjoyed, so I sometimes wondered about relationships that involved so much suffering. From my perspective, it looked like nothing but wearing themselves out, and while it wasn't the ideal relationship I envisioned, I would listen to their relationship troubles thinking, if my friend says she loves him, then I guess it can't be helped... Love is blind, and the reality is that people don't listen to what those around them say.

Devoted love can become self-sacrifice if you take one wrong step

Perhaps people who can keep giving love have no problem, but friends who unconsciously sought something in return—wanting a reward for their devotion—always seemed to be in painful relationships. I used to think, isn't that just self-sacrifice rather than devotion? But of course, I couldn't say such a thing. lol
People who can purely keep giving love have an amazing spirit of giving, and it naturally comes back from the other person, but the moment you seek a reward, that energy stagnates, and I'm sure it gets conveyed to the other person too... In that case, it's human instinct not to feel like giving back. I'm sure they just want to run away—negative energy is heavy and scary, after all.

A relationship where both the other person and yourself are miserable cannot work. I really don't recommend a relationship that is nothing but self-sacrifice! There is no such thing as a relationship where sacrifice is the norm.

Even if you don't seek a reward, there is definitely someone out there who will embrace all of you. If you're going to continue a relationship while enduring pain, just break it off cleanly and move on to the next!!
I know that's not easy, but I think it's definitely better in the long run to look for someone with whom you can be yourself ☺️ (especially if you want to get married)
If there's anyone struggling, I'd love to listen to your story~ (Who am I to say that←) I'd be happy if I could push anyone who is struggling even a little bit! Thank you for reading today too 💓

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