💐 "Fu-tan nurui" The temperature of happiness. Thoughts on Mother's Day.

"Fu-tan nurui (The bath is lukewarm)"

I still sometimes remember those words
that my former mother-in-law once threw at me.
My former mother-in-law was the sister of the person
I wrote about in a previous post, "Mother,"
and she was my ex-husband's foster mother.
I always thought that if I could get along with this person,
I could deal with any woman.
She was from Fukuoka, and these were the words

she aimed at my back while I was washing the dishes.

"Fu-tan nurui"

(The bath water is lukewarm)That dialect was a clear jab at me
for being slow and

too laid-back.

"I wonder how your mother raised you?"


I could endure it when she talked about me.But the moment she brought my mother into it,
something snapped inside me.
I, who usually couldn't speak up
or make strong complaints to anyone,
turned around with wet hands
and retorted straight to her face.


"It's not just about moving quickly
like you do, Mother-in-law!
Because you handle things so roughly,
the precious Arita ware bowl I brought

from my parents' homeis almost all chipped, isn't it!
I am truly glad that I am my mother's daughter!"

That might have been the only time in my life
that I ever said such harsh words.
(When I see a Hannya mask, I think of my former mother-in-law.
They look alike, just between us, haha.)
The fact that she even died on the same day as my father
is ironic, and I can't even laugh at that.)

My mother was
gentle, delicate, beautiful,
and like a Buddha.
Her cooking also had a gentle taste.
What my mother taught me
was not efficiency or speed, but
"how to treat the heart."When I was a child and spoke ill

of a neighbor's friend,
instead of scolding me, my mother said this.


"You should say bad things into a plastic bag. Then, pop it."It was the wisdom of not throwing the poison of words

at someone, but returning it to the sky
to make it disappear.
When I was in high school and telling the biggest lie I could,

my mother quietly said to me,


"It must be hard to tell lies."Instead of blaming me for the badness of lying,

my mother saw right through
the pain in my heart
of carrying that lie,
and embraced me.
That is how

my mother taught me to treat
the invisible heart
carefully and with importance.
What my former mother-in-law said,



"Fu-tan nurui"
I can laugh and accept it now.Hot water cools down quickly,
but lukewarm water
warms you thoroughly to the core.

What my mother gave me
was not an Arita ware bowl that would break,
but that
"temperature of the heart that never cools for a lifetime."
I now find that lukewarm warmth
to be precious.
Today is Mother's Day💐


Mom, I want to see you.

　　🌱Thank you for reading
　　　until the end🙇‍♀️
　　　If you give me a Like♡ or a comment,
　　　I will feel even warmer🌱

• #MothersDay
• #Essay
• #PowerOfWords
• #Memories
• #Family
• #Dialect
• #AritaWare
• #Happiness