The reason why I, who once stumbled, am sharing again

To those meeting me for the first time.
This article is about
how I got to where I am today.

A few years ago.
I once graduated from being a company employee.

I wanted to make a living doing the spiritual work I love,
so I gathered my courage and became a sole proprietor.

I showed my face,
and besides my blog,
I tried things like YouTube,
and worked hard at sharing my message.

There were days I was scared, but I kept going no matter what.

Thankfully,
customers started coming little by little,
and my repeat clients increased.

My blog was reasonably well-received,
and I even received an offer for publication.

But.

Continuing to share my message
gradually became painful for me.

There are days when my mood doesn't lift.
Depending on my condition or energy at the time,
there are days when I simply cannot move.


Also,

while talking about "spirituality,"
somewhere in the back of my mind,
I would notice myself calculating,
"Will I be okay with this month's living expenses?"


I hated myself for that.

While saying, "Let's get centered," I was worrying about money.
While saying, "Let's raise our vibrations," I was full of anxiety.

As the days went by,
I was disappointed in myself


for being so contradictory.
As that inner conflict grew,
strangely, my customers started to drift away.

Eventually,
I couldn't share anymore,
and my energy to act on my own, as well as my money, hit rock bottom.

With no other way to go,
I returned to being a temporary employee.

I still remember the sense of inferiority I felt back then.

Successful fellow healers.

A senior who, by "just trying it out," reached over 100,000 YouTube subscribers in no time.

An acquaintance who became popular on Instagram all at once,
with bookings full for months ahead.

People whose sessions sell out in an instant.

People who continuously
keep sharing happily.


The more I looked,
the more frustrated I felt.
I was envious.



Honestly, I even felt anger.

"What is different about me?"
"How can I become like that?"
I would think,

and time and again,
I was swallowed by dark, muddy emotions,
and could only blame myself.

I am someone who tried once
and didn't succeed.

That fact
has always been a thorn in my heart.

Truthfully, I want to go back.
I want to make a living doing what I love once more.
I want to choose my own time and way of working.

But,
"What if I fail again?"


That fear still
remains within me.



However,
I really want to end these days where nothing changes,
and the painful life of a temporary employee.

"This might be some kind of turning point."
I felt that somehow,

It might be too late, but
I wonder if I should try using AI. That's what
I suddenly thought one day.



And so,
I opened the ChatGPT screen,

and as I wrote in my previous article,
I just typed
"Hello." That was all.

It wasn't so much an expectation
that "maybe I can do something with this,"
but rather a feeling of wanting to check it out.

Whether someone like me
could actually use it.



Even someone like me, who is a temp worker,
has no track record,
and has failed once before.


The words that came back
were ordinary.

They weren't special words,
and no miracle started like magic.

They were ordinary words.


But they didn't deny me,
and it felt like they just accepted me as I was.

That's when I realized.

AI
doesn't know about my past failures.

It doesn't know my annual income.
It doesn't know my job title.
It doesn't know my follower count.

It just
reacts to the words I type right now.

That was when I realized.

It wasn't that I was afraid of AI itself.

I knew somewhere deep down
that if I used AI,
I would want to try again.

That's why I was afraid,
and why I kept it at a distance.

And precisely because
that is exactly what happened,
this note exists.

The reason I am posting again is
because I want to live
doing what I love once more.


I want to live
while feeling the freedom I envision.



This is
a small challenge for that purpose.
Perhaps you could even call it a comeback.

I don't
understand everything about AI.

But
if it's about how to use it
for spiritual work,
I can share a little bit.


I am not a success story.


But
I am a person who stumbled once,
felt jealous,
stopped due to an inferiority complex,
and yet is trying to move again.



"AI is impossible for me."

The person who thought that
is now weaving words with AI,
organizing a path,
and taking on a new challenge.



If you, too,
have ever stopped in your tracks,



and yet still want to move forward just a little bit,
I believe I can stand by your side.

May this story today
be a small light for you,
who are thinking, "I want to challenge myself with something."