Parents as the Supporting Actors Who Support a Child's Life

Today's article is a challenge to the theme of the note University Parenting Department

When I saw this theme, the first thing that came to mind was the existence of great supporting actors in movies, dramas, and manga.

There is always a protagonist in a story.
But a story cannot be formed by the protagonist alone.

Someone who supports them by their side.
Someone who sometimes says harsh words.
Someone who lightens the mood.
Someone who pushes the protagonist forward.

It is because of such supporting actors that the story becomes deeper and the charm of the protagonist stands out.

After finishing watching, have you ever thought,
That supporting actor was great,
I liked this story because that person was there

Don't you ever have such things remain in your heart?

I have recently been hooked on Korean dramas.
I think about this even when watching Korean dramas.

The lead roles are of course wonderful, but the presence of the supporting actors is amazing.

Oh, if this actor is in it, it must be interesting,
I can watch with peace of mind just because this person is there,
Dramas with such great supporting actors have depth in the whole story.

I suddenly thought that in parenting, parents might be the best 'great supporting actors'.

The protagonist of a child's life is the child themselves

When raising children, there are times when parents want to step forward.

You should do this,
This path is safer,
I have to teach them so they don't fail

Don't you ever feel that way?

That feeling comes from the desire to care for the child.

Because they are precious, I get worried.
Because I don't want them to fail, I want to get ahead of them.
Because I don't want them to take a detour, I want to teach them the correct answer.

I also sometimes want to speak up.
But the protagonist of a child's life is not the parent, but the child themselves.

If parents become the main characters,
they may unknowingly deprive their children of
opportunities to think for themselves,
experiences of making their own choices,
and the time to fail and get back up on their own.

A child's life is something they must decide and move forward with themselves.
In that story, aren't parents the "supporting actors" closest to them?

A great supporting actor does not steal the spotlight

A great supporting actor is a mysterious presence.
They leave a strong impression, yet they do not steal the spotlight from the lead.

They appear when needed, say the right words, and sometimes watch over silently.
Their presence makes the lead shine even brighter.

Isn't parenting surely the same?

Instead of parents deciding everything,
watch over them so they can decide for themselves.

Instead of blocking the path to prevent failure,
be a place they can return to even if they fail.

Instead of constantly teaching the correct answer,
believe in their ability to think for themselves.

This sounds simple, but it is truly difficult.
You want to interfere and give advice.

Watching over them does not mean doing nothing.
It requires the strength to believe and wait.

When a child is lost, you want to give them the answer immediately.
When they look like they might fall, you want to reach out first.
When you see them struggling, you want to do it for them.

But I believe it is also important to take a step back and wait.

You reach out when necessary, but you also value the time for the child to stand up on their own.

That may be the role of a parent as a supporting actor.

The parent's role is to set the stage

The role of a parent as a supporting actor is not to live in the child's place.
It is to set the stage so that the child can take on challenges with peace of mind.

For example,
supporting them when they say they want to try something.
Not blaming them when things don't go well.
Noticing their small growth.
Not losing sight of who they are.

Whether a child is the type to step forward or the type to watch their surroundings, neither is better or worse.

Some children are good at standing out, while others are good at supporting.
Some are leader types, while others are sensitive to the feelings of others.

Just as it is not only the lead who is important in a story, children also have their own ways of shining.

What parents can do is find the light that the child possesses.
And I believe it is to gently protect that light so it does not fade.

There is a view that can only be seen because you are a great supporting actor

When you hear the word "supporting actor," it might sound a bit plain.
In parenting, being a supporting actor is not a plain role.

The moment a child achieves something for the first time,
The moment they try again after crying in frustration,
The moment they think for themselves and take a step forward.

Parents are the ones who get to see those moments up close.
There is a view that can only be seen because you are not the protagonist.

Because you don't step too far forward, you can notice your child's growth.
Being able to watch over your child as they shine in their own way.

That may be a special joy that only a parent, as a great supporting actor, can experience.

Conclusion

Just as a great supporting actor makes the protagonist shine in a story,

I believe that in parenting, too, when parents take a step back and watch over them, children begin to walk their own lives.

Of course, you cannot always be the perfect supporting actor.

There are days when you interfere too much.
There are days when you worry and get ahead of yourself.
There are days when you feel that "watching over them is difficult."

Even so, the protagonist of a child's life is the child themselves.
Parents are the ones who can support that story from the closest distance.

What kind of supporting actor are you playing in someone else's story?
Even if you are not the protagonist, you are someone who gently supports another person's life.

That way of living as a great supporting actor is also truly wonderful.