[Parenting] Finding strengths and raising children with a smile

The temperature has dropped today, and it is also forecast to rain.

The elementary school sports day is next week, and the daily temperature fluctuations make me
worry about my children's health.

Today, Friday, I would like to
write whatever comes to mind regarding 'parenting'.

Last week, my older child said their throat hurt,
and yesterday, my younger child started saying their throat hurt.
I hope it doesn't get any worse...

As the children grow, the rate of them getting sick has been decreasing.

Is it thanks to them building up their physical strength?

Looking back,
both of them were able to go to school without missing a single day during the first term.

Recently,
the number of notifications saying
'I went to the nurse's office' has also been decreasing.

As for my younger child, they might
have never even used the nurse's office yet.

Is the nurse's office a place of relaxation for children?

I don't remember going to the nurse's office much when I was a child.
But I do remember somehow longing to sleep in the beds in the nurse's office.

No matter where it is,
children need a place where they can feel safe.

I feel that children today live surrounded by
more stress than I did when I was a child.

I wonder if pressure from parents is one of those things?

Yesterday, when I happened to be talking with a mom friend,
'helping them do what they can't do'
became a topic of conversation.

They aren't good at studying, so because they can't do it,
they go to cram school to be able to do it.

They aren't good at sports, so I send them to lessons.

Focusing on what they can't do.

That might also be necessary.

Especially with academic ability, since there are tests at school,
it is easy to compare with others.

It is easy to judge that my child cannot do something,
and I want to help them be able to do it somehow.

As a parent, I can understand why you would think that.

When a child brings home a test,
you might think, 'Why did you get this wrong?'

It would be better if they were good at studying.

I end up thinking that way, but if they aren't good at studying, I think it might be necessary to nurture what they are good at instead. By focusing on what they cannot do and spending every day feeling stressed,

you might be suppressing their true self.

That is what I feel.

A minimum level of learning is necessary, but if they can do calculations, read text,
and understand conversations and writing,
rather than focusing on what they cannot do,
I feel it is better for their future growth
to nurture what they like and what they are good at.

Furthermore, as they pursue what they like,
when they realize for themselves that learning is important,
they should be able to learn much more effectively
than if they were forced to study.

When raising children,
you must do things properly,
you must make them study properly.

Sometimes you can feel crushed by these invisible pressures.

The desire to have them be the same as or better than the neighbors

is also a form of parental love.
However, rather than focusing on weaknesses,
I think it is better to focus on strengths,
wouldn't that allow both parent and child to spend every day more happily?

Even while saying that,
'Study properly!'
is something I end up saying.

I regret my own contradiction,
'Oh, I said it again,'
I think with a laugh.

I would be happy if they became good at studying, but
if they are bad at it, it can't be helped!

If you can think that way, parenting becomes easier,
that is what I feel.

It is a form of letting go in a good way.

A child's life belongs to the child.
Do not force them to achieve what you could not.

It is okay not to be the same as everyone else.
An environment where they can nurture their strengths

is perhaps what is most important.

I thought about the conversation with my mom friends regarding
"helping them learn to do what they can't."

If they can't do it, it's okay if they don't.
If children are lively and happy
while doing what they love,
perhaps parents' frustration will also decrease.

Because the child can't do it,
that might just be the parent's vanity or pride,
and that feeling might be the parent's own issue.

There is so much to think about in parenting every day.
Not worrying alone,
not carrying the burden alone
is important.

When my child was born,
I thought it would be enough if they just grew up healthy,
but as they grow, I find myself wanting them to be able to do this and that.

It's okay not to try too hard.
Instead of focusing on what they can't do,
look at what they can do.

Let's enjoy parenting in that way.

Thank you for reading until the end today as well.