Say goodbye to weeks that start with 'I have to.' Creating a system that starts with what you won't do.

Monday, the start of the week.

Do you ever feel flustered by the morning rush, thinking, 'I have to do this and that'?

The feeling of tasks spinning around in your head, leaving you unsure of where to start.

I sometimes find myself cramming too many tasks into my planner, wondering, 'What should I do first?' amidst the chaos of childcare, housework, and work.

At times like that, I end the day feeling frustrated, thinking, 'I didn't get done what I needed to do...'
That was when I realized that before adding more things to do, I needed to decide what not to do.

The space created by deciding 'what not to do'

This is what I was feeling last Monday.

• I want to focus on my work after sending the kids off.

• I want to get a lot of work done after finishing the housework.

• I want to do this and that after the kids are asleep at night.

When you try to aim for perfection, you tend to end up with 'this and that.' That is exactly when you should:

1. Only check social media 'when necessary'

2. Turn off notifications in the morning

3. Remove tasks from the list that don't need to be done today

Decide, 'I won't do this this week.'
By doing so, you create space in your mind, and you will feel lighter.

What is born from space

Once you decide what you won't do, you create space. This space is actually very important; it stabilizes your mind and naturally helps you see what you really need to do.

When you have space, you can focus on small things you can do without strain.
'Focus on writing an article for just one hour in the morning'
'Don't look at my phone when spending time with my children'
In this way, what is necessary becomes clear in a natural flow.

Concrete examples

Things parents don't do

For example,

• Don't try to 'do all the housework today'

• Stop 'trying to accommodate every single one of your child's plans'

• Decide that 'SNS checking is only for when the kids are playing'

and so on.

Other examples include:
・Keep your shopping list to a minimum.
・Get through cooking with frozen foods or time-saving menus.

By doing this, you create space in your heart and your schedule, allowing time for your children and for the things you love.

Habits that become a system for not doing

When the time you spend deciding 'I'll stop doing just this today' becomes a habit, it turns into a system that supports you.

I recommend taking just 10 minutes on Monday morning to decide on three things you will 'not do'.

The method is very simple.

1. Open a memo

2. Write down three things you 'will not do this week'

3. Take a deep breath and start

With this small step, you are less likely to feel lost, wondering, 'Wait, what was I supposed to do this week?'

Effective even when you're feeling unstable

Especially when raising children, sudden fevers or schedule changes are common. At times like those, a 'not-to-do list' becomes emotional support.

For example,

• 'Housework doesn't have to be perfect'

• 'Adjust my own time so I don't get frustrated by my child's sudden day off'

• 'SNS is only for 15 minutes at night'

Putting it into words like this helps calm your mind a little.
Even if your children take up your time, you can have the peace of mind to say, 'It can't be helped today.'

At your own pace!

It is wonderful to do your best and think, 'I have to do everything!', but that can sometimes become a source of pressure.
Choosing not to do something instead of doing it is also a valid choice.

• Use social media only during breaks

• Check notifications only at night

• Focus on necessary work

By deciding things in this way, it becomes easier to balance parenting, work, and yourself.

Conclusion

First, let's start by choosing what not to do

1. Write down 'three things not to do' on Monday morning

2. When you create space, what you need to do will naturally become clear

3. Small habits become a system you can sustain

4. Your mind stays stable even with parenting and sudden schedule changes

By repeating these steps, you can maintain your 'own pace' even in the midst of a busy daily life.

This week's challenge

1. Open your memo or planner and try writing down three things you will not do

2. Place that list somewhere you can see it

3. At the end of the week, reflect on 'how did choosing not to do those things change your feelings?'

This is the first step in building a system.

By starting small, you can continue without strain.
By continuing, you can stay true to yourself.
Let's create those kinds of days together.