Parenting Without Regrets: Choosing This Very Moment

As I hold my child tight, I find myself thinking.

How many more years will I be able to hug them like this?
How much longer will they hold my hand while we walk?

Not long ago, my children couldn't do anything without me.
My oldest, before I knew it, started preferring friends over parents.
My youngest, too, has gradually started prioritizing time with friends.

For now, they still hug me honestly and hold my hand.
But this time will not last forever.

What is taken for granted now will become a time I desperately miss in a few years.
That is why I feel it is important to decide how to spend the present so that I have no regrets.

Time that cannot be regained in the future

If only I could go back to those days.
Even if I think that, it is a wish that cannot be granted.

When raising children, there are times when I feel like I am being left behind by the passing time.
I should have done that back then.
I should have spent more time together.

Sometimes, such regrets cross my mind.

Parenting is not just about one's own time.
It is never too late to start something, but the growth of a child will not wait for anyone.

Until yesterday they were saying 'Mom, Mom,' but before I knew it, they were turning their backs to me saying, 'I'm going out with friends.'

Their world is expanding from parents to friends. Even though it is truly a happy thing, I feel lonely. But that is proof that they are growing up properly.

As those moments increase, I find myself feeling something.

Am I cherishing this very moment?

Days when work is busy, or times when I am absorbed in what I want to do.
That in itself is not a bad thing.
Living your own life is also very important.

At the same time, time with children is also irreplaceable time that cannot be taken back later.

I should have done more things together back then.
Even if I regret it, that time will not return.

That is why, what I choose now matters.
I believe that is what creates my future self.

You cannot make everything the number one priority

Do not hold back or suppress your feelings.
This is very important.

I'll do it eventually.
I'll think about it when things settle down.
Maybe later?
Do not put things off.

If you want to do something, do it.
If you have something you want to convey, convey it.

Live this moment with all your heart.

However, there is something you must not forget.
You cannot do everything with all your heart.
Within the limited time you have

Parenting with all your heart.
Work with all your heart.
Housework with all your heart.

It would be wonderful if you could do everything at 100%, but that is an ideal. In reality, there are limits to your time, physical strength, and mental energy.

That is precisely why what matters is
deciding what not to do.
deciding what to pour your energy into.

Being serious does not mean pouring your all into everything.
It means choosing what is most important in that moment.

What is necessary for that is setting priorities.

Setting priorities

Setting priorities also means deciding 'what not to do'.

For example,
Today, I will put off the dishes and listen to my child until they are finished.
Today, I will put down my smartphone and face them, even if just for 10 minutes.

The accumulation of such small choices creates the future.

Without the courage to make these choices, many things will end up half-done, leaving you feeling unfulfilled.

Everything is important.
I don't want to cut corners on anything.

That is exactly why I get lost.

At such times, try asking yourself: What is it that I truly do not want to regret?
'What is it that I truly do not want to regret?' For me, it was the time spent with my children.

Children will not wait for you.

In the blink of an eye, they grow taller, their favorite things change, and many things keep changing rapidly.

Growth also means gradually letting go of a parent's hand.

That is a very happy thing, but the loneliness of them drifting away also grows.

That is precisely why I cherish 'this very moment'.

Putting things off using 'busy' as an excuse,
or saying 'later' while looking at my smartphone.

I am sure everyone does this at some point.
There is no such thing as a perfect mother.

However, even if it is just for a few minutes a day, stopping what you are doing, looking into your child's eyes, and listening to them—that alone can fulfill both the child and the parent.

Laughing together.
Eating together.
Feeling something together.

These casual moments are the ones you will miss the most when you look back later.

Trips and outings are wonderful, too.
But those are special times.

Those times are like rewards.
The everyday moments are something different from that.

Conversations while eating dinner.
A 'goodnight' hug before bed.

These casual, everyday moments might be the ones that are most precious, yet we only realize it after they have passed.

Deciding on your priorities is like choosing a gift for your future self.

Gifts are exciting both when you choose them and when you receive them.
I love the time spent choosing a gift for someone.

Thinking about that person and imagining the moment they smile makes me happy, too.

The time spent deciding on priorities is the time spent choosing a gift from your present self to your future self.
To ensure that in a few years, you are living with excitement rather than regret.

Children will eventually leave their parents' side.
That is inevitable; perhaps the goal of parenting is for them to be able to leave their parents with peace of mind.

When they do leave, I want to be able to think, 'I enjoyed my time with my child to the fullest!'
I want to be that kind of person.

When you cherish the present moment, your anxiety and impatience will decrease.
I have to do more.
I have to try harder.

When those feelings subside, a sense of satisfaction will fill your heart.

There is no need to do everything perfectly.
What do you cherish right now, and what do you want to do?

The time you can hold your child is limited.
The time they will hold your hand is also limited.

But if you are currently in a time where you can do those things, please enjoy the present to the fullest.

Today is a precious time that will never return.
What you can do now is choose the time right in front of you, starting from this moment.

While you can still hold them, hold them often.
While they will still hold your hand, hold their hand often.

That will become your treasure in the future.