Watching Over and Nurturing Children's Interests: A Parenting Approach

How should we go about nurturing our children's talents?
Should we enroll them in lessons?
Or is it better to leave it up to what they want to do?

As parents, we often find ourselves thinking about this.

If they have something they love, we want to help them develop it properly.
If possible, we want to have them learn from a good teacher and build a solid foundation.
At the same time, the environment we prepare with the best of intentions can sometimes feel a bit restrictive for the child.

In our home, we have two daughters who are complete opposites.

Our younger daughter loves to draw.
Our older daughter loves to dance.

Both have things they love, but the way they develop those interests is completely different.

Today, I would like to think about what parents can do to nurture their children's talents by looking at the examples of these two sisters.

The younger daughter who wants to draw freely

My younger daughter, a third-grader, loves to draw.

Whenever she has time, she faces her sketchbook or paper and draws intently.
Watching her bring the world inside her head to life—drawing illustrations of anthropomorphized characters or girls—is truly a joy.

As a parent, I can't help but think, "If she loves it this much, wouldn't she improve even more if she went to an art class?"
Or, "Wouldn't she get better if she learned the basics?"

I have suggested art classes to her several times, but her answer is always,
"I won't go."
"Because I want to draw freely."

From a parent's perspective, lessons seem like a good environment for developing talent.
But for my younger daughter, being able to "draw freely" might be the most important thing for enjoying art.

Having someone correct her.
Drawing with a set theme.
Being told how to draw.

Rather than that, she prefers to draw what she wants, when she wants, and how she wants.
I think that is the most comfortable way for her to learn right now.

Her teacher is YouTube

It's not that my younger daughter isn't learning anything.

Her teacher is YouTube.

When there is something she wants to draw, she finds videos on her own.
How to draw hair, how to draw eyes, how to add color and shadows.
She finds videos that interest her and draws while imitating them.

Even without me saying, "Why don't you watch this?", she searches, tries, and incorporates things on her own.

Watching her, I feel that the way children learn today is different from when we were young.

In the past, it was common to attend classes to learn something.
But now, you can learn according to your interests from YouTube and online information.

Of course, not everything can be completed just with YouTube.
But I think it is a very big deal that there is an environment where children can learn the moment they think, "I want to know" or "I want to try."

For my younger daughter, drawing while watching videos at her own pace might be a better fit right now than attending an art class.

The older daughter who wants to learn

My older daughter loves to dance.

Whenever she has a spare moment, she is moving her body to music.
Even at home, I find her dancing before I know it.

My older daughter continues to take several lessons that involve using her body, such as dance, ballet, and hula.
She learns the basics and expression while being taught by teachers in each class.

In my older daughter's case, the environment of lessons seems to suit her very well.

By having a teacher watch her, she can have her body movements corrected in ways she wouldn't notice herself.
She can be taught fine movements and posture.
She can also gain experience performing in front of others through recitals and lessons.

There are many things about using your body that you cannot understand just by watching videos.
Even if you think you are doing it right, you might actually be slightly off or using your strength incorrectly.

That is why I think an environment where a teacher can watch her directly is important for my older daughter.

Learning through YouTube

My older daughter doesn't just learn through lessons, either.

When there is a song she wants to dance to, she looks for videos on YouTube.
She watches them repeatedly to memorize the movements and check the fine choreography.

Then, she asks her teacher at the studio about parts she doesn't understand or wants to improve.

In other words, my older daughter is learning independently through YouTube while also receiving professional guidance in her lessons.

Watching this, I feel that the way we learn today is not a binary choice between "self-study or lessons."

Researching on your own.
Trying things on your own.
But also getting taught by a teacher where necessary.

I think this combination suits my older daughter very well.

Differences between sisters

Even though they were born to the same parents and raised in the same house, children have different types.

My younger daughter is the type who wants to do things freely.
She wants to learn at her own pace while valuing her own world.

My older daughter is the type who wants to get better at what she loves.
She wants to improve her skills while being taught by a teacher.

Neither is better or worse.
I think both are ways of nurturing talent that are unique to each child.

What is difficult as a parent is that,
if you assume "this must be right for this child," it can sometimes be out of sync with the child's feelings.

If I kept forcing an art class on my younger daughter, she might eventually stop enjoying drawing altogether.

If I told my older daughter that she should just learn everything on YouTube, I might fail to meet her desire to improve further.

What is important for nurturing a child's talent might not be for the parent to decide the right answer, but to observe how that child wants to learn.

"Like" is the gateway to nurturing talent

When we talk about talent, we tend to think of it as something special.

But watching children, the gateway to talent is very simple.

"I like it."
"I want to try it."
"I want to know more."
"I want to do it again."

I think these feelings are the seeds of talent.

When parents find those seeds, they want to make them bloom quickly.
They want to water them, fertilize them, and provide a good environment.

But the way they grow depends on the seed.

Some seeds want lots of sun, while others grow better in the shade.
Some seeds need lots of water, while others will wither if you give them too much.

Children might be the same.

The environment that parents think is good is not necessarily right for that child.
I think it is important to provide the necessary support while watching the child's pace, feelings, and way of learning.

What parents can do

What parents can do is, first of all, to "watch the child closely," isn't it?

When do they look like they are having fun?
When are they focused?
What kind of words make them happy?
Conversely, what kind of interaction do they dislike?

When we talk about nurturing a child's talent, it feels like we have to do something special.

But first, just watch the child closely.
And don't get in the way of their "likes."

Wouldn't just doing this be a significant form of support?

Prepare the necessary tools.
Create time for them to work on things with peace of mind.
If they want it, find a class or a teacher.
But if they don't want it, don't force it on them.

I want to be a presence that doesn't walk in front of the child pulling their hand, but watches over them from slightly behind and reaches out when necessary.

Conclusion

There is not just one way to nurture a child's talent.

Some children grow by learning freely, while others grow by receiving professional guidance.
Some children are suited to online learning like YouTube, while others demonstrate their strength in an environment with teachers and peers.

What is important is to value the child's feeling of "liking" something.
And I think it is about searching for the way of learning that suits that child together.

My younger daughter has her own way of growing.
My older daughter has her own way of growing.

Even as sisters, the ways they nurture their talents are so different.

That is precisely why, as parents, we should not compare them, but look at their individuality.
Without rushing, without making assumptions, but continuing to show interest.

So that our children can grow in their own way while valuing their own "likes."
I want to continue watching over them while thinking about the support I can provide as a parent.