My eldest son couldn't decide on his dominant hand. What I learned by watching patiently

When does a child's dominant hand get decided?

For my eldest son, it was truly unclear.

Around age three, he would hold colored pencils and scissors with his right hand, then his left.

"It's the right hand today."
"It was the left hand yesterday, wasn't it?"

That was our daily life.

When I looked it up, I found that a dominant hand is generally said to be decided by around age four.

So I thought,
"Let's wait and see a little longer."
That is what I thought.

Still not decided by nursery school or kindergarten

Even in his younger and middle years of kindergarten, he continued to use both hands.

When drawing, he used his right hand for the right side of the paper and his left hand for the left side.

When eating, he used his spoon with his right hand and his chopsticks with his left.

Sometimes it would even change depending on the day.

"Which one is his dominant hand?"

I always had that question.

Learning to use chopsticks was also slow

He also didn't become able to use chopsticks for a long time.

More and more children around him started using them skillfully from the middle of their middle year of kindergarten.

But my eldest son was different.

He would practice with his right hand, then practice with his left.

Since he used both hands, it looked like he was practicing from scratch every time.

When he finally became able to use them in his final year of kindergarten, I was surprised.

He had become able to use chopsticks with both his right and left hands.

The "slight clumsiness" I had felt since he was small

His drawing was also a bit awkward.

He seemed to struggle with fine details.

His use of scissors was also a bit precarious.

"He's just a bit clumsy, I guess."

I always had that impression.

And then one day, I suddenly thought,

Could it be that he is ambidextrous, and that's why he's a little clumsy with both?

At first, he leaned toward being left-handed, but in daily life, he naturally shifted to using his right hand for pencils, scissors, and chopsticks.

Perhaps he gravitated toward the hand that was easier for him to use while watching the other children at kindergarten.

On the other hand, he still throws a ball with his left hand.

I feel like his body chooses that before he even thinks about it, so I think it might be something closer to instinct.

It was decided naturally

Until he was about six, he could use chopsticks with his left hand too.

But by the time he was seven, it seemed difficult for him to use his left.

Now, he uses his right hand for both writing and chopsticks.

Only for throwing a ball does he use his left.

He has settled into a form that he chose naturally.

So, although I had thought about whether I should correct him to the left or unify him to the right, I am glad that I ultimately left it up to his own body.

There might be another reason why he struggles with writing

Even now, my eldest son is not very good at writing.

Learning hiragana was also a bit slow.

Before, I thought,

"Maybe it's hard for him to write because he leans toward being left-handed."

But recently, I have a different perspective.

My eldest son loves New Blocks and Lego.

He seems very good at thinking in three dimensions.

On the other hand, he might struggle a bit with "flat information" like letters and pictures on paper.

That is why it takes him a little longer than others to draw pictures or write letters.

I have become able to see it that way.

Of course, this is just my own observation from watching my eldest son at home.

Even if you don't rush, children will choose for themselves

It makes you anxious when a dominant hand isn't decided.

"Will he be okay like this?"

I thought that many times, too.

But looking back, even without forcing him to use his right or left hand, my eldest son chose the form that was easiest for him to use.

If there is anyone out there worrying about the same thing right now,

"It's still not decided."

I would like to quietly share our family's experience that it is sometimes okay not to be so anxious.

Every child's growth is truly different.

That is precisely why you might not need to rush to find an answer.