The Story of Stopping the Struggle to Separate Work and Private Life - 6

—A Way of Living That Emphasizes 'Pacing' Over 'On and Off'

When I Was Bound by 'On' and 'Off'

I used to think that 'switching strictly between on and off' was the foundation of being an adult. I believed that by giving my all at work and being completely off on my days off, I could maintain balance by flipping that switch.

But in reality, it didn't work out. I would feel guilty on my days off for thinking about work because I was trying too hard to be 'completely off,' or I would become exhausted from pushing the 'on' switch too hard at work. The more I tried to operate that switch precisely, the more cramped my heart felt.

The Concept of Pacing

One day, I realized something. Humans aren't like electrical appliances that can be clicked on and off. Rather, we live by repeating the cycle of 'tightening' and 'loosening.'

So, I started focusing on living with a 'pacing dial' instead of an on-off switch. I create moments to loosen up even while at work. Conversely, if there is something I want to do on my day off, I tighten the dial just a little to engage with it. Thinking this way made my heart feel much lighter.

When to Tighten and When to Loosen

For example, before an important presentation, I turn my dial up to tighten my focus. In return, after it's over, I consciously loosen the dial to go for a walk or have a coffee. It's the same on days off. On days with no plans, I decide to 'stay loose all day,' or conversely, I turn the dial up all at once for a hobby.

Since I started being conscious of this pacing, the guilt of 'failing to switch on or off' has disappeared.

Living Like a Flow

What's important is not to be constantly 'on' at full power, nor to be constantly 'off' and lazy, but to live like a flow while adding intensity and relaxation. This has become my way of finding balance.

Unless you have some very special talent, you cannot completely switch yourself off. In fact, those who can do that are likely the ones achieving great success or building massive enterprises. Pouring your entire brain into work is truly a difficult thing to do.

Instead of trying to switch, I add pacing to the flow. By thinking this way, I became free from the obsession that I 'must separate work and private life.'

Until Next Time

Next time, under the theme 'Both Are Me, So No Guilt Is Needed,' I will talk about how I faced the feelings of blaming myself for not working.

—Minato Kamiya