To make sound arguments into words that open up the future.

I grew up without really understanding the feeling that sound arguments can hurt people.
While superficial comfort might temporarily lighten one's heart, reality does not change, so things soon return to how they were.
That is precisely why I believe that if the situation itself is improved, the factors clouding the heart will disappear, and the heart should clear up as well.

I believe things have improved significantly now, but I am sure there is still much more to be done.
During my student days, I often hurt others unintentionally due to a lack of words or poor word choice.
In this article, I will look back on an event that remains particularly etched in my heart.

When I was in high school, we performed in a group.
We performed the same routine with different members every year, but one year, the members who joined after I did asked me to watch their performance.
This is the story of that time.

I gave my honest feedback on their performance as detailed as possible, but the content was viewed as problematic by the members who had performed with me.
I was not among the higher-performing members in the group, and the person I was closest to also seemed to be struggling with their own performance level.
That is why I had them share it with the whole group through that person.

There was regular interaction among the members, and many of the following year's members knew about the parts we had struggled with during the year I participated.
Because they were struggling with the same parts we had, I told them about our experience.
I carefully explained things one by one, intending to encourage them with the hope that they would overcome those challenges, but it was received in a way I did not intend, and it developed into an unexpected commotion.

I apologized and explained my intentions later, but I do not know how well it was understood.
The teacher who was guiding us also admonished me, saying, "You are a hard worker and have many wonderful qualities, but I want you to learn to consider other people's feelings," and the sharp, heavy atmosphere and the way the members looked at me weighed on me, making my days feel like my heart was being worn away.
It was truly a situation of being surrounded by enemies on all sides.

"They asked me to watch their performance because they wanted to improve, so what was wrong with what I said?"
"The others were also giving advice, so what was different about mine?"
No matter how much I thought about it, I could not find an answer, and before long, my heart began to break, so I distanced myself from it.
Since then, I have never been in contact with those members again.

So, why do sound arguments hurt people?
I believe there are two types of sound arguments.

One is a sound argument used to defeat an opponent or to gain an advantage.
Because the way it is used is aggressive rather than the words themselves, it acts like a blade.
The other is a sound argument consisting of facts or improvements shared out of goodwill.
This takes the form of the recipient feeling hurt as a defensive reaction because they perceive it as a denial or blame of themselves.

When one is hurt by the latter type of sound argument, it is likely because they are aware of the content of the argument but are not yet prepared to face it, or because a fact they had been looking away from has been pointed out, revealing a weakness they had not even realized themselves.
If there are circumstances that make it impossible to execute the advice despite understanding the content of the sound argument, one should simply communicate that and ask for wisdom on how to execute it.
If one is already executing it, then the situation where a sound argument is directed at them would not arise in the first place.

Words are a means to convey information and feelings, and writing was born for accurate information transmission and recording.
It is said that humans are creatures of empathy, but this world cannot function on empathy alone.
Regional culture, religious backgrounds, manners, common sense, and values differ from person to person.
Without an attitude of correctly conveying each other's backgrounds and understanding each other through constructive dialogue, neither cooperation nor coexistence can be established.
When a problem occurs, or when preparing for a potential problem, calm judgment is required.
That is why I feel that continuing to refine the conditions under which sound arguments are received and the forms in which they are conveyed is a theme imposed upon me.

Looking back on my past experiences, I think I needed to learn how to convey sound arguments, rather than worrying about whether or not to convey them.
Depending on how they are used, sound arguments can be a sharp blade or a useful tool.
It is necessary to adjust the form of one's words after carefully assessing the other person's situation, mental readiness, and the direction they are seeking.

I have not changed my stance of looking clearly at facts and structures.
However, when sharing that perspective with others, I make an effort to adjust the speed and angle so that it is easier for the other person to receive.
I believe that is the way to use sound arguments not as words that destroy relationships, but as words that open up the future.