🏵️To those who have lost a loved one
To those who have lost a loved one, I offer my deepest condolences.
I believe many people have experienced the loss of someone close to them, such as a beloved family member, friend, or colleague.
I myself lost my grandfather, whom I loved dearly, 20 years ago; my father, who was loved by everyone, 10 years ago; and my niece, who passed away within a few months, 12 years ago.
I have also recently experienced the suicide of a friend and the lonely death of a childhood friend.
Honestly, all of these were painful. When my grandfather passed away, I had no motivation to do anything for about a week, didn't leave my room, and was essentially a shut-in.
I imagine many people have had similar experiences, haven't they?
In Tenrikyo, we do not say that someone has died.
We call it 'denaoshi' (a fresh start).
That is what we call it.
The interpretation of 'denaoshi' is that while the body is returned to God, the soul borrows a new body from God and returns.
The soul grows through repeated rebirths.
How your actions in a previous life influence who you are now.
The virtues you accumulate now will be utilized in your next life.
That is how the soul continues on forever.
I would like to introduce a passage that really touched my heart from a book I borrowed from my brother, who appears here from time to time.
This is a story based on the real-life experience of Mr. Chakitani, the author of this book.
He was asked to conduct a funeral by a man named K-kun.
It was for a baby who ended his short life at just 1 year and 10 months old.
He apparently had a rare disease that affects one in tens of thousands.
He spoke with K-kun, whom he hadn't seen in a long time, but he said he had no words for a couple who were hanging their heads, saying, 'What bad luck we have.'
It is said that 'children do all their filial piety by the age of three,' so they are incredibly precious until that age, and I think that is why he could truly understand the feelings of K-kun, whose child passed away before turning two.
The words Mr. Chakitani said to K-kun at that time touched my heart, so I will write them down exactly as they are.
I am here for you.
It was a short life, but this child's short life had its own role to play.
He fulfilled his role to the best of his ability before passing away.
There is no such thing as a wasted life or a wasted existence in this world. This child's life was by no means meaningless. He lived with his parents, laughed with them, and above all, he strengthened the hearts of you two.
At one point, you must have cursed the heavens. You must have wondered why it had to be your child...
But seeing your own child right in front of you, fighting the illness with his small body, you steeled your hearts.
You nursed him with all your might, didn't you? You traveled an hour to the university hospital every day. You did your best.
But he passed away. It is sad. It is painful.
But ending your sadness with just sadness is actually the saddest thing of all.
In Tenrikyo, we call a person's death 'denaoshi' (a fresh start).
This child's soul will definitely return to this world.
If you are just cursing the heavens and lamenting your fate like you are now when that time comes, wouldn't that make this child's life truly meaningless?
By the time this child returns, you must use this 'denaoshi' as a catalyst to move forward even more.
And you must reach a point where you can say that you are who you are today because of this child.
You must change.
That is the greatest reward you can give in response to this child's short life.
There is something this child left behind, risking his own short life. Let's think about that. Otherwise, this child's soul cannot be at peace.
That is what he told him.
These are words I wish someone had said to me 20 years ago.
Also, we are taught in Tenrikyo that at such turning points, a great sprout will emerge.
"Sprouts from a turning point"
It is important not to let the things that happen at these turning points go to waste, and to move forward once again.
In the midst of grief, people often have a heart that blames itself.
"If only I had done more, they wouldn't have died"
"If I had stopped them at that time, they wouldn't have been in a traffic accident"
I have heard many such stories, but it is not your fault.
Keeping what you felt through the death of a loved one in your heart and moving forward is the best way to honor those who have passed away.
I hope this article can be of some help to someone.
Also, if you are struggling or would like to talk to someone, please feel free to contact me via comment, message, or any other means.
Thank you for reading until the end.