Happy Writing Marathon #37 | What choice has recently made you feel 'lighter'? - 'Receiving Singing Ring healing', 'Leaving messages on read', 'Quitting my job'
This is my first Happy Writing Marathon post in a very long time.
I definitely gave up after three days last time.
Why did I feel like writing this time, lol?
Is it because the theme is 'feeling lighter'?
1. 'Singing Ring'
The day before yesterday, on my day off, it was a morning where I didn't want to do anything and I almost skipped my yoga class, but
after yoga, I received an invitation to a Singing Ring healing experience, so I thought, 'Why not!' and jumped at the chance.
A Singing Ring is a metal bowl that resonates with a deep 'vooo' sound when you stroke the rim, and a 'bong' sound when you strike it; it helps align your vibrations.
After the session, perhaps because both my body and mind were aligned, and the weather was warm and spring-like,
the stagnation in my heart disappeared, and I was able to actively move around, cleaning my room, doing paperwork, and working in the field.
2. 'Leaving messages on read'
I don't like LINE.
The people I'm connected with on LINE are generally not close friends, but rather relationships maintained out of obligation.
Well, I work at a certain shop, and sometimes customers are very talkative.
I usually respond politely, but since I had some free time, I told an elderly man who claimed to be an agricultural trader that I produce and sell bananas.
Then, he forcefully arranged to come and see my farm.
While I half-disliked the idea of a stranger coming, I accepted, thinking I might hear something useful.
And after that, he treated me to dinner.
He had time on his hands and wanted me to keep him company as a travel memory; I hoped to hear stories that would be useful for my work in return, but it was mostly just trivial bragging.
It would have been fine if it ended there, but after that, he started sending me lots of photos and videos on LINE.
He would send multiple, repetitive, and useless videos that were half-cut off! It was annoying, creepy, and it ate up my memory!
The first time, I replied in a relatively polite, calm, and non-offensive way, saying, 'It eats up memory, so I'll select and delete them,' and deleted the data.
However, he sent many more photos of his meals that were completely uninteresting and conveyed no charm.
I've been targeted by pushy elderly people who don't realize they are being a nuisance several times before, and the frustration of that came back to me, making me feel agonizingly angry.
Angry at him, and at myself for inviting it.
I regretted that I tend to offer polite and pleasant 'flattery' to strangers.
Wondering what to do, I asked an AI.
It said, 'Leave them on read (don't respond), and set notifications to off; that way, they won't enter your field of vision.'
It said I don't need to go as far as blocking them, nor do I need to cause a scene by saying 'Stop it!'—just 'ignoring' them is fine. For people of that type who don't understand they are being a nuisance, not responding is best, and I don't need to waste my energy on them.
How refreshing!
I had been worrying about how to protect myself without hurting the other person, but by making these settings, I was no longer bothered, and it just faded away.
The AI taught me that people like that don't really care that much.
Even when I'm having such an unpleasant experience, I still prioritize the other person's feelings over my own...
I don't have to do that, do I?
I was disregarding myself by unilaterally worrying about the other person's feelings, thinking about how sad I would be if I were left on read.
It's okay to value myself.
3. Quitting my job
It's a workplace where I've felt uncomfortable for a long time.
While seriously worrying about whether to quit or not, I started doing new work voluntarily, thinking that if I were to quit, I should finish my pending tasks first.
The people around me are those who never step out of their routines and find everything troublesome.
They spout sophistry and try to run away from solving problems,
and their cronies follow along like opportunistic bacteria...
But actually, there haven't been that many troubles lately.
Perhaps it's because I've been working quietly and calmly, and my heart has been peaceful.
Just when I thought I could keep going like this, yesterday, for the first time in a while, there was trouble.
As usual, it seems they don't like me.
I was attacked from all sides.
I instinctively wanted to react and fight back, but
I cannot win against their collective sophistry.
The moment I realized I couldn't win with words, I thought, 'Ah, I'll quit after all.'
Then, my anger suddenly subsided.
I don't care anymore.
That said, after that, waves of anger washed over me repeatedly, I struggled, and eventually, I got a headache and had to take painkillers.
I felt that the option of 'quitting my job' would liberate me from the hopeless situation at my current workplace.
Thinking about re-employment and redesigning my future life makes me anxious.
Also, in these times of labor shortages, I worried about the other party's position, thinking I might be causing trouble if I quit, and that they might be in a bind if I offered to resign, but
for my colleagues who don't like me and are ganging up to crush me, isn't it a happy thing that they don't have to work with me?
Isn't it a win-win? Since we don't have to have unpleasant feelings toward each other.
So, I will do my best in the remaining time.
It is the decisiveness that the choice to 'quit' has brought me.