[Poem] Timing

The times when we liked each other were out of sync
so we could never be together

Actually, there were times when our feelings overlapped
but back then, neither of us could bring ourselves to say it

More than a decade later, you
"Actually, I liked you back then"
you say, with such bad timing
but I have already locked you in the past
and am trying to find happiness elsewhere...

Deep down, we both
really liked each other all along
but our timing was never right

So I keep digging up
the smoldering possibilities of the past
trying to connect them to my current hopes

But I will not fall in love again
because I dislike the version of myself that is in love
I will not possess anyone
and I will not belong to anyone

So I will keep playing the role of your best friend
Even if I sometimes think I might still like you
or feel from your words and actions that you still have feelings for me
I am confident I won't let it develop into love

Love requires timing, too
Perhaps we
could have been the perfect pair
but it just wasn't our destiny

Instead, we can be best friends for life
I'm sure that was our destiny
and I feel that's fine, too
Even if we didn't become lovers or spouses
we have both continued to like each other
for decades
Maybe that kind of relationship suited us
which is why things are the way they are now

I will continue to watch over you
Perhaps that
is a bond stronger than that of lovers or spouses
A thin and long
yet unbreakable
bond of bad timing

©2023 alice hanasaki

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