Reading 'Why Do We Continue Being a Family?'

I read 'Why Do We Continue Being a Family?', a book featuring a five-part dialogue between writer Yayako Uchida and neuroscientist Nobuko Nakano.
Yayako Uchida's parents are, as everyone knows, Kirin Kiki and Yuya Uchida.
They were a couple who lived apart even before Yayako was born,
and although they fought so constantly that knives would fly when they met,
they still never divorced.
Nobuko Nakano's parents apparently didn't speak to each other at home,
maintaining a family in name only.
It is an intriguing book where these two discuss the nature of family.

Because both of them are highly intelligent,
the conversation often drifts far beyond the topic of family.
I was able to learn about many interesting things.
A calm and happy daily life is a good environment for life to continue.
Even though humanity knows that peace is good,
a state of peace is also a stagnant state where civilization does not develop.
Therefore, it seems that the impulse to destroy happiness is also programmed into the human brain.
After reading that, I ended up writing this 👇

Also, if you are in a situation where you are raised by various families, such as being left with relatives or acquaintances since you were small, rather than just your parents,
you learn to be considerate even as a child,
and you try to understand the values of that household,
which serves as social training.
However, the child themselves may feel like they have no place to belong,
and it is easy for them to become an anxious child.
It seems that children are bewildered by the fact that the culture of a home is different.

Being tossed about among various values is said to be good for developing intelligence,
but from the perspective of attachment,
it can lead to a tendency to avoid human relationships,
or conversely, to cling to someone once you decide they are 'the one'.
So, while it doesn't necessarily have to be a parent,
it seems more important to have a specific person present than to have multiple caregivers.
Though I suppose it cannot be said for everyone.

Also, people who have a sensitive side
can sometimes have that sensitivity become even sharper toward those they are close to.
Someone who is difficult and irritable with their family might be a calm person to strangers.
My daughter is exactly like this.
At school, she is pleasant, a good girl, has friends, and I recently learned she is moderately popular with boys.
I have even been told, 'She seems like such an easy child to raise,' but from my perspective,
she has been like a child in a constant state of rebellion since she was born,
crying, screaming, and yelling at home,
and then, just when you think that, she clings to me and acts spoiled,
constantly sticking to me saying, 'I want Mommy,' which is just exhausting.

I have some ideas about why things turned out this way,
but since it is a personal matter, I might write about it in a paid article at a later date.
I have never written a paid article other than using the tip-jar method,
but I am thinking of using it for writing about private matters in the future.
Though it will likely be very rarely, not on a regular basis...

The essay magazine is here ↑

Thank you for reading until the end!
I would be even happier if you read my other essays 😊