How do you make friends again? How the shape of friendship has changed since becoming an adult

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How do you
make friends again?

Since entering graduate school,
there are moments when I suddenly wonder.

There are about 30 students in the same department.
Among them, fewer than 10 are working professionals.

Before I knew it,
we had naturally separated.

Professionals with professionals.
Students who came straight from undergrad with each other.

It's not that we don't interact,

but there is
a sense that the time
flowing for us is different.

The students who came straight from undergrad
are very close.

They commute together,
and even after class ends,
they head off somewhere together.

I imagine they probably
spend all their time together after school, too.

——“A relationship where you are always together.”

Seeing that,
I feel a bit nostalgic.

On the other hand, we professionals.

While at school, we
eat lunch together,
cooperate on group work,
and sometimes share a laugh.

But when class ends——

“See you later.”

And we return to our respective lives.

I am one of them, too.

My children are waiting at home,
and the role of “mother”
who makes dinner
begins immediately.

There is no time.

That is certainly
a big reason.

But,
I feel like that is not all there is to it.

Perhaps the way we keep our distance from others
has changed a little.

When I was a student,
it was natural to "always be together."

Going home together,
laughing together,
spending time together.

I thought that
was the depth of a relationship.

The way we relate to people
might be something that
gradually
changes without us noticing.

When we were little,
we were "playmates" who did the same things.

In adolescence,
we had "best friends"—a smaller circle, but a deeper one.

And now,

it is a relationship where we interact without forcing things,
while keeping our individual differences.

Since entering the workforce,

I have gained experience in
cooperating with people I meet for the first time
and building relationships toward a common goalwithin a limited amount of time.

I have accumulated
that kind of experience.

The "ability to build relationships with anyone
and work together"

is something I
certainly think I have acquired.

However, I suddenly wonder.

—How do you make friends,
anyway?

Relationships can exist
without being stuck together all the time.

We interact when necessary,
and then return to our own lives.

A relationship that flows smoothly,
like water.

That is surely,

a comfortable sense of distance,
only possible because we have become adults.

But, to be honest.

On the way home from school.

Just a little bit,
I sometimes feel
something like loneliness.

Just like back then,

there is a part of me that misses,
a relationship where we could be together for no reason.

Is this maturity?
Or is it distance?

It is not about which is better,
or which is worse.

Perhaps I am just,
pausing for a moment
to reflect on the form of relationships I choose for myself now.

Even so, I suddenly wonder.

What,
was a friend again?

Perhaps,

I haven't forgotten how to make friends, but rather,
I have come to know
“relationships that don't need to be made.”